my gretchen my baby

by karen klopfenstein
(charlotte tennessee )

my gretchen, my baby girl, my love

my gretchen, my baby girl, my love

my gretchen, my baby girl, my love



gretchen was a beautiful 26 yr old gray tabby shorthair cat. she never ever looked or acted near her age. she loved me as much as i loved her. if i cried she would run to console me, climb on me & rub her little sweet face against mine, lick me. she would reach out her paw & curl it around my hand, pull it under her chin & then sleep. she had the biggest beautiful eyes & tiniest sweet paws. i don't know how i will ever get past her loss. i had her for 24 years
i wrote the following for her ... it is lengthy but there's nothing i can leave out. there is no way to say all the good there is about this precious gift called gretchen.

my gretchen, my girl....
soft friend i love
baby sweet
amazing creature & genetic wonder!
always near, bond so strong
...so long you've been my friend
(almost half my life)
my best friend
the special gift god knew that i should have
ran to me when i'd cry
with love, yes love.
comfort. sweet comfort
head bowed down for rubs
soft cheeks against my face
cool nose, whiskers tickle
paws reach to me
reach & curl
curl around my hands & pull them close
draw me in.
yes. love.
a piece of me you have become
nothing too good for you
anything for you i would do
by my side, make me smile
my travel companion
tiniest feet, kneading paws
ears you love caressed
big eyes
always looking for, waiting for...
me to come through the door
want me there. near.
defeat my lonliness, lighten my sadness
immediately melt the day away
so many voids you filled.
love.
kisses from you
with me through thick & thin
knew all my stories good & bad
knew my secrets but never told
loyal lady, regal beauty
dainty girl, matriarch. icon. fighter.
prim & proper
perfectly groomed.
every hair where it should be, paws clean & neatly placed
beauty
my beauty
pretty face, youthful & strong for so long
my dear friend
sweet fur friend
precious fur friend
softest place behind your ears
i never want to forget.
you stayed so many
years for me
(i wanted you here forever)
can't imagine you not here
heart breaks, to miss you so much
this part of me--of my life--brought to a close.
no matter how i try or reason it can't seem right.
these pieces do not fit
expect to see you in your favorite places
think to give your pill. but...no.
little fur one..absent from the corner of my bed.
no longer tucked in next to me where you should always be
no tub faucet drinks
so many empty places here
what will i do?, how will i ever do?
how can this ever do?
soft meow, purr so sweet. my blessing
i love you so much
& i know you loved ME
i will love you forever
i miss you more than there are words good enough to say
i thank you for staying here
with me
baby sweet
my little love.
love. yes love

Comments for my gretchen my baby

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Jun 13, 2014
my gretchen love
by: kkmarie

i still cry for my gretchen every day many times. nothing is right. i sent to counseling too. i miss her so much my heart aches & it never goes away. i want to hold her close to me & love on her. i can't believe she is gone. my life will never be the same & will never be as good without her. my precious girl i love you & miss you forever & ever

May 16, 2014
gretchen
by: kkmarie

thank you Doreen again. it is good there is someone who understands. i can't even express the pain i am feeling.
i am trying to take your advice with the writing etc. & you're right it does little good trying to talk to people. few people really care about this type of pain unless it's their own.
i am trying to go home, have still been staying @ my moms. the thot makes me ill but i know i need to face it. i feel so alone. my other cat is so precious tho don't get me wrong. he's been more help to me than anyone esp now that bf is not really talking.
it just makes me feel sick to think of being by myself.
thank you again for all your help.

May 15, 2014
my gretchen my baby
by: Doreen UK

Kmaria I am glad you are writing back for more support. Do this as often as you need to because we understand how you feel. The bf probably doesn't like to see you upset and may not be able to see you continually crying as it makes him feel helpless. He doesn't know what else to do so is distancing himself from you. OH! most of us find life changes dramatically in every way when one is grieving. You may lose people from your life. People won't be as supportive as you need or think they will be to you. You may find people avoid you. You are crying because you are so very broken and can't stop the tears. This is the only way you can offload your pain. Get a journal and write out how you feel instead of talking to people. You will be getting this out of your system. Write endless letters to Gretchen. Keep them private only for your eyes. No one else would understand your need to write to or about your cat. They would misinterpret this and make your life more miserable. Write Write Write as often as you need to. It doesn't matter if you repeat yourself in how you write. It is important that you honour your feelings and those of the relationship you had with Gretchen. She was more than a cat to you. She was your EVERYTHING. She knew what you needed and in unspoken language SHE MET YOUR NEEDS. IN A BIG WAY. You are devastated. INCONSOLABLE. Lean harder on God and ask him to dry your tears and take away your pain. Give it all to God. He will bring swift healing to you so that you will not feel this RAW GRIEF PAIN. Write back again if you need to. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU.

May 15, 2014
my gretchen baby
by: kkmarie

nothing makes this better. all i do is cry. then last nite a boyfriend "issue" too. normally he is so understanding about pet stuff. anyway what's really bothering me is losing her. makes my whole point..it's her that would be there for me right now no matter what or how i was feeling. she wouldn't question my feelings or reactions. i hurt so much right now & i want HER here to help. i can't believe her urn & pictures etc are really all i have left of her. god help me. i can't sleep..& yes the extra crap about the bf doesn't help.
the people in my life don't really understand. i really want to stop crying it just is not possible :(
all this stuff about urns & ashes & clips of fur in a locket etc....it all feels so foreign in re: to her. like it just makes no sense it's HER that i am talking about in relation to those types of things. i plan to finally go home tomorrow & the that nauseates me.
i have never felt so alone in my life ....before i could at least text & talk to my bf anytime i needed to about her & my feelings. he was the only one who understood & now not him either. i don't want to keep talking to my daughters because i dont want to upset them. i was sposed to go on vacation for a trip to see some old friends who are planning their wedding. & i did not even go. it's so hard to try to be happy & ok.. plus it's a happy time for them & i feel like a downer... people can say what they want but they don't want to be around ya when youre like this. they're kind for a comment of sympathy etc but then expect the evening to go on as normal. they dont realize she is all i can think about. dear god please help me & tell me what to do

May 12, 2014
gretchen
by: kkmarie

i know you are right
i appreciate the advice & kind words.
i miss my little gretchie

May 10, 2014
Gretchen
by: Doreen UK

kkmarie Don't mind other people. They haven't a clue how bad your grief is. It will just compound your grief. Take one day at a time. You will cope one day at a time. You will have good days and bad days, and they too will pass. But I feel your pain and what you are going through. Mom's home is the best place to be right now. You will hurt badly for some time. Pamper yourself every day with something good and build on it. Put new things in your life to help you cope. Cry when you need to. BE YOURSELF. DON'T PRETEND ALL IS WELL if it isn't. Keep a journal and write out all your feelings to get them out of your system. May God surround you with His Love and kindness right now and His Peace and Comfort be with you always!

May 10, 2014
gretchen
by: kkmarie

again i appreciate the comments & encouragement. today made one week without her. i am miserable. i feel so alone & disconnected. i am still staying at my moms i just can't bear to go home & an. be alone, & . deal with even more memories. i try to pretend i feel better mainly because it seems to be the expectation of other people. however, i don't feel better & i think pretending makes it worse. i can't sleep much at all & that doesn't help. i miss her & love her so much. what a precious & sweet & loving little princess she was. never another like her.

May 08, 2014
Gretchen
by: Nadine

Karen, It will take some time to recover from your grief. I remember how sad i felt when i lost my first cat, Ashley. I cried at home, in the car on the way home from work (at night when i figured no one would notice), i even cried a little at work one day. I tried to hide my sadness but it overwhelmed me sometimes. It is almost a year since i lost Ashley and i still miss her a lot. Only pet lovers can understand the grief we go through when we lose our furbabies.

May 08, 2014
The Lord is my strength
by: Anonymous

Hello my condolences for the death of Gretchen. Well only time will heal your pain, but I know all to well how that feels. I had a tabby coon myself, and his name was Niner, and I also had my mama cat her name was Wyner- Long pants, but both are buried now in Napa, a beautiful place called The Bubbling Well for Pets cemetery. I tell you you will feel sad, and feel like you can't breath yourself, because of all the wonderful memories of Gretchen, but it will take time. I hope in due time you will know that Gretchen is now in a better place. Now you didn't mention what she died of, but I know she will always be around you too. You'll see some folk say animals don't have spirits, but I disagree. I also have one who adopted me, and, before my husband died 2 yrs, and 2 months today, he and I buried him in the back. His name was Happy, this is to long of a story, but an ugly neighbor, who didn't like cats killed my "Happy", but his other tom cat friend is now my pet too. His name is Blacky, but he is still around, and I kid you NOT Blacky knows that his best pal "Happy" is buried in our backyard. See what I mean about our pets, and animals. What can you not love about this creatures. Well sorry for your loss. I hope you either made him a little small funeral or spread his ashes somewhere, or kept his ashes, but whatever you do. Gretchen will always be with you in your heart.

May 07, 2014
my gretchen
by: kkmarie

thank you marge
i am so sorry for all of your loss
i appreciate your kind words
so far every day feels worse
i am hoping that will change some day but idk
i just miss her so much
i am staying @ my moms right now
i can't bear to go home & be in my house (our house)
& her not be there
i am so sad i feel ill
god bless you today & everyday as well as everyone
who has made comments here to help me
i appreciate all of you so much

May 07, 2014
Gretchen
by: Marge

Pets are family too. I lost my late son (died Feb. 2012 at age 50)and his girlfriend of many years had 4 Ferrel cats. They came to their home and stayed. He was so attached to the cats and last year his girlfriend found one of them dead in the back year. We all believe she (Catfish) went to heaven to be with my son, Philip. We are a family of cat lovers (and dogs too) so I certainly understand your loss. Hang on to those wonderful memories with Gretchen.

May 06, 2014
thank you
by: kkmarie85

i truly thank you guys for your comments
gretchen was/is an amazing part of my family. i love her so very much. it means a lot to read your kind words xxoo

May 06, 2014
my gretchen my baby
by: Doreen UK

Karen I am sorry for your loss of Gretchen. She is so beautiful. Pets are adorable and bring comfort to us in many ways a person can't. It is such a loss that you will feel for a very long time. You had Gretchen for a long time and had a rich life with her. I hope that in time you won't rule out having another cat that can bring you Happiness as you continue your journey on this earth. Don't deny yourself this happiness in time. You will be able to Love and be Loved in return, and this is what life is all about. Putting into our lives what we can whilst we are here so that we can brighten our lives and the lives of others who grace our presence.

May 06, 2014
loss of Gretchen
by: Nadine

Karen, I was so saddened to read of your loss of your precious Gretchen. She looks and sounds just like one of my cats, Peewee. I think tabbys are just one of the sweetest cat breeds there are. My Peewee is about 4 years old and has her special ways too. She sleeps with me most nights. She has her little spot near my head and chest. If my hand or arm is in the way she will gently paw at it or even bite it softly until i move it so she can curl up just where she wants. Then she will purr and rub her head against my face in delight. I can't imagine your loss after having Gretchen for so many years. What a deep bond we form with our pets. They are indeed special little creatures. I also love your poem. My heart goes out to you in your time of saddness.

May 05, 2014
We had a sweet little girlcat, too....
by: bluebird

I know it's never the same for any two people, to have a beloved pet die, but my husband and I had two cats -- a girl called Summer, and a boy called Benny. Summer died a few years ago, and it was horrible for all of us. She was only 10 years old (she had asthma for which she had to get steroids shots every few months, which lowered her immune system and probably led to her eventual illness and death), but she (along with Benny) was and is the most loved cat in the world.

Your Gretchen was also clearly very well-loved by you, and you had such a good long time with her -- I know that doesn't actually make it easier right now, but it is still a blessing.

I hope you are able to feel your sweet Gretchen around you, and I hope that you are able to find some peace. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

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