My Grief Is My Own ( Don't Take It Away )

by sonia
(Philippines)

Why did you leave me alone?
Why is the loneliness so profound,
Why are the days so slow
Did my world stop to commiserate
With my anguish and pain?

Where is the joy of my life?
The light, the breath,
The reason for my being
Your death, my life, I cannot..
Reconcile with one of life's paradoxes
That leave me to languish
In despair and sadness.

Why did you break my heart?
A heart complete with
Love, joy, and peace,
How can I put the pieces back
Of a life that is forever shattered?

How can I fully understand?
A loss that paralyzes me with numbness
Existing each moment without cheer,
To long and to ache forever
For my husband so dear,
When will the mourning end
Where do I go from here?

When shall I make peace
with your death?
The emptiness and the loneliness
Before me spread,
When will the tears stop to flow
What does it take to assuage
The unbearable agony of loss?

My grief leaves me so weary
My heart so broken and heavy,
When will I ever let go?
So my soul can find rest..
And solace
From its long, dark, deep abyss.

Meanwhile...
Let me weep and let my tears
Flow without end
Until my days of mourning are spent,
Leave me go to my Hiding Place..
Where my grief and I..
Can quietly mend.

And please..
Don't take away my grief
I deserve it, I will have it.

( I write these lines with deep pain in my heart..for my beloved Jack, my husband..from your wife, sonia )