My heart bleeds as it is slit through

by Kersasp

My son of 11 yrs was killed by a rash bus driver on December 22, 2011. I cannot come to terms with this incident, Parzan my son and his friend were returning home when a reckless bus driver knocked my poor angel on the road only to die. My son was so much of fun loving, lively, intelligent and all good quality a father would want in his only son. As I saw his mutilated face on that day, it shocked me so bad, the site just keeps coming in front of my eyes and will not let me live. No matter what the world says I still want to hold my son back in my arms, love him as I always did and hear his sweet talks that would go on. During bed time Parzan would narrate the entire day incidents of his school and go on and on. Today there is so much of a vacuum in the house that I dread to go back home from office. I see his pictures on the wall and just can't control the tears rolling down. I have an elder daughter and life is cruel as it compels me to live for her - my heart is slit into two, a portion that is cut and left to bleed with salt as I grieve for my son and then I have to continue to love my daughter as she occupies a place in my heart. I really do not know how to live or come out of this situation.

Comments for My heart bleeds as it is slit through

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Jan 13, 2013
December 22nd
by: Katrina

Kersasp, My heart aches for you and the pain you are feeling. December 22 (2008) was also the worst day of my life as my son Neal, like Parzan, was killed in an automobile accident on that day. I cried every day for more than a year. I began to wonder if I would ever feel happy again. After 4 long years I have found some joy and happiness again. My heart still aches for my son and longs for him, but God has helped heal my broken heart. He hears my prayers and gives me strength. I know my son's spirit lives and I have often felt Neal close. I know death doesn't break the bonds of love. It only separates us for a time. My love goes out to you!

Mar 14, 2012
by: Kersasp

Thanks Aaishah,

Your message was comforting - I hope all is well with you.

Mar 13, 2012
So sorry
by: Aaishah

Im so sorry for the loss of your gorgeous son. Your post was simple but it brought tears to my eyes. You arent alone.

Feb 24, 2012
by: Kersasp

Thanks for your comforting words - it does help me and I feel equally sad at your lost. My well wishers and my friends suggest I pray but after this incident I have very little faith. God has been cruel and unkind - we always prayed and thought we were under the protection of God until this untimely incident. I am not certain how I will continue to live

Feb 23, 2012
by: Anonymous

My heart also bleeds with you as I also lost my beautiful son a year ago December 2010 and have a daughter that needs me here. I think I was numb for most of the year and have just started to help mend my bleeding heart. I agree with the other comments that you should find someone or more than one close relationships or counselor to cry and talk to about anything your want. I have also started reading a book called Experiencing Grief, and writing stories. I'm still in the angry stage so I'm writing those right now as a way to move forward to beautiful stories of my life with him and our family. I know how difficult it is and I wish you all the love and hugs you need to get through your journey. No that we are all here reading to help each other. Strength in numbers. We love you.

Feb 22, 2012
by: Anonymous

how awful of that bus driver, I'm so sorry your post brought tears to my eyes. I just lost my 3 year old grandson due to drs negligence and I know the pain you are feeling even though I'm grandma. I too have wanted to die to go be with him but, know I must go on for my children. I live in a fog and feel numb, cry all the time. Your daughter does need you and is probley experiencing some of the same feelings as you are. I have been in counseling and in some ways it helps to have someone to talk to and cry with. I would recommend that and also talk about your son to everyone that will listen tell them what he was like, what he liked to do, keep his memory alive and take all the love you and him had for each other and make something of it. Hugs and much love

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