My Heart FOREVER Broken!
Joshua, 24, a man, a father, my son, my only child. 6'2, Dark Beautiful eyes, a smile to miss every day, a sense of humor we adored, a face a mother does love and longs for.
7 Years ago, a life time, ON March 12, 2006, I lost Joshua in Afghanistan. In a country far from home. A place he had to be. A place I can not even imagine.
He lived all his life in a small town. He played basketball, played football and track through his High School days. A town that you have best friends growing up. A place where everything reminds me of him.
Some wonderful memories of my son and some not so much called life. Quilt.
I have gone through the days where I wanted to stay in bed. I wanted to die along beside him. Not being able to raise my arms or pick up my feet. Where your head hurts so bad from stress and your stomach can't eat. Sounds of anguish coming from your heart. A Grief that I did not even know existed.
Josh (his preference)was growing into a man. A father who loved his children. My friend. I miss my son every single day. I will always miss him. He will always be the center of my world. The person who taught me unconditional love.
I write this thinking it sounds like a documentary but how do you put on paper the love, joy, life, loss, grief of an only child? I feel it all, some days to the floor.
I am here to tell you, YOU will never be the same person again. You will never have a complete joyful soul again. But you can live again. You can go on. You can laugh and look forward to stuff. Enjoy your grand kids but YOUR HEART will never ever completely heal. Signed: Mother Love for JOSHUA