My Heart, My soul, My sister <3
(FT WW Alaska)
For 23 years of one another's lives, we were inseperable, did everything together... playing, fighting... My sister was 23 years old when she passed away October 8th 2012. I live in Alaska, and when I received that phone call from my father, I died inside... this wasn't suppose to happen, it was to soon. She had just given birth 8 months ago to her 3rd child, a little girl who will never get to see her mother's smiling face, or feel her warmth... All children left behind under the age of 5. Her husband, devastated, held her in his arms as she took her last breath from when her heart gave out, and she was no more. She had the heart condition since 2008, after having her first child. She knew she had a problem, so did her husband, but neither one of them used any protection, and he didn't get her on his insurance to make sure her heart was strong enough to handle a 2nd pregnancy... she had seen 6 specialists, all telling her that her heart was enlarged and that one day it will give out on her. When she got pregnant with the 3rd child, her doctor told her she should of never gotten pregnant... she didn't listen to me, and no one else seemed to concerned about her situation. While I sat on the side lines upset for the children and the decisions she was making with having another baby.
The husband didn't stop her, didn't talk any sense into her... It came to a point that me speaking my mind lead us to not talk for 9 months, becuase of how I could not support her, and what she was doing to her body. After the birth of the 3rd baby, she was seeing a doctor and was put on meds for her heart... After her death I found out that her husband wasn't making sure that she was taking the meds everyday, becuase she wasn't...
I never got to tell her how much I love her, and that I never got to hear her tell me in return. I miss her everyday. It's been 7 months, and I'm still struggling with the loss of my little sister, my only sister, my only sibling, realizing that I will never see her again, never get to hold her, never argue with her, never cry or laugh with her. I should be angry with my parents for leaving me out of the funeral, and not giving me any of her ashes... Angry at her husband for not taking better care of her. I was always there for her, always taking care of her when she needed me, living with me multiple times, and this one time she needed me the most, we weren't talking and I wasn't there. I have to live with this for the rest of my life, knowing that I was to stubborn to pick up the phone and just call her. She's gone and I'll never get that back.