My Hero, My Dad

by Shirra Herron
(Houston, TX USA)

My dad the Marine

My dad the Marine

My father and I were very close. We talked everyday on the phone. He was a Vietnam Veteran Marine and I was and am so proud of him. I went to see him recently and noticed his right leg was staggering when he walked. I begged him to go to the doctor, but he said it was just his blood pressure medication. The next day he fell and was taken to the ER. He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer of the brain, lungs, and pelvis. Being a nurse, I knew his prognosis was not good. My dad told me over and over that he did not want to die.
He died 4 weeks after his diagnosis. I am still devastated. He died April 9, 2014. I was holding his hand when he took his last two breaths. I have 5 sisters and felt the need to comfort them and be strong since I am the oldest. My father was only 65. I feel anger and sadness that he is gone. I can't turn his cellphone off because I call it just to hear his voice.
My mother left me when I was 3 months old and came back when I was 10. So, my father was mom and dad to me. It feels as though I lost both parents in April. I have 6 boys and can't show my grief in front of them, as they are having a hard time loosing their "Papa". I feel a deep void in my heart and don't know how to deal with my father's death. My sister's seem to be handling it fine, but they were not as close as dad and I. Anyone have any advice?

Comments for My Hero, My Dad

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Jun 28, 2014
My Hero, My Dad.
by: Doreen UK

Shirra This is probably going to be the worst experience of your life losing your Dad. Dad's are a strong part of a child's life. My daughter is in the same place as you. She lost her Dad to cancer 2yrs. ago. He was 65yrs.
My husband had the worst rare cancer caused by working with asbestos and his cancer grew for 40yrs. Just as he was due to retire, the cancer was diagnosed and I nursed him for 3yrs.39days before he died 2yrs. ago. The cancer journey was a horrendous one. My husband did not want to die. and this was so hard to live with. Looking into the face of the man I loved knowing he was going to die and I was dying slowly with him. I had to be strong and I nursed him well all those years. I have no regrets. This was the man I loved for 44yrs. The best way forward is ONE DAY AT A TIME. At the moment you will feel as if this pain of grief will last forever, as I did. I felt as if my world exploded and I was in pieces and wondered how I would become whole. But the healing process does happen each day, and you do get your life back. you will probably have good days and bad days. Don't carry the whole burden of supporting all your sisters. Each grieves in a different way. You all need to open up to each other and share your grief. Your mother's grief will be different and harder, because she lost her husband. She is where I am at. Encourage her to take ONE DAY AT A TIME. Don't crowd her as she needs the time and space to process her own grief. My father is 93yrs. of age today, and I know I will lose him soon. But I expect it. I didn't expect to lose my husband at 65yrs. I still feel this was young to die. But he had cancer and I am thankful his pain has ended.
I have 4 sisters and one brother and only one sister has remained very supportive. We each have different life experiences with our parents and not all your sisters will grieve the same way. It may appear as if some are moving on quicker and this may leave you confused. But it is normal. Some just may not show their feelings in the same way. My daughter seems as if she is coping and moving on, but I hear a different story from her friend. She is very afraid of losing me, and is over attentive. I am worried who is going to look out for her when I am gone.
Dad's are hero's and Thank God for them. I am sorry for your loss.

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