my hero my heart my dad

by karena shanley
(mwc , ok)

my dad a few years ago

my dad a few years ago

my dad max passed away july 30, 2013. I got to the hospital too late. I did not get to say goodbye. I am the youngest, I wasn't supposed to daddy sat by the phone until I was out of the woods. over the past year I have been his caregiver as his heath got worse. my mom works. he had good and bad days, his kidney cancer had developed in his one good kidney. he had the other removed due to cancer many years earlier. he was dreaming I would like to believe when he would talk about going golfing and the past. I love him so much , I was not ready. I know that is so selfish...but he was everything to me, my daddy, my heart, my hero. he lived a long happy life in his 83 years, and he was married to my mother for 56 of those. he was the best....but I cant stop crying, I hear his voice, griping at me or not, I hear his hurts so much....but I know I will see him again.....

Comments for my hero my heart my dad

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Oct 31, 2013
two heros
by: Anonymous

I don't even begin how I explain how much my father meant to me. I understand that death happens. As my father would say " life goes on" and I truly believe that. As my life went on after his death, I was working for a great person. It was in the medical field and deep down inside I was thought that death was okay. You will move on. And i did. I buried my fathers death in my work. No crying, move on. Every day became different, so I made it easy to forge. That's what your suppose to do. 6 months went by I was going to be okay. Then one of things I loved to do closed. I am very happy for my employer, he did what he needed to do what was his passion and our lives moved on. I was seeking a new job when when you came a1 came along. I started working for a1 and everything was good. It took some time to get use to my boss, many different mood swings. But he was thankful. My bosses father worked there as well. We became very close. It was almost as good as having a father again. We would talk about everything. One day I came into work and he was already in. We said good morning n went on to work, he would set at his desk looking at internet. Once in a while he would say read this one, its funny (email). That particular day . I was truly taken back by it. A few days later he said sorry. So once again l, don't cry over. Just move on. That was much harder then I thought it would be, I lost my since of security. I don't hate him. But it starting to take a toll on me. I finally decided to move on. Not in the way I planned, but I was constantly avoiding him as much as I could. I was having anxiety. I've only spoken to two people about this. I never knew how quite to handle. I'm not sure if this is the best place to post. Speaking of fathers drew me here!

Aug 30, 2013
my hero,my heart,my dad
by: silver

Dear Karena,I understand how you feel.My dad died Dec,2009 after a long bout with cancer.I was blessed in that he was here until I reached 60.He was a loving dad.Momma used to say he was a little girls daddy.They had 4 girls and he spoiled each of us.I can remember momma saying that when I was about 1-2 1/2(before the next girl came along)that she would punish me for something and I would run to daddy and he would pick me up and love me.He would get upset with himself if he upset us.He was so intelligent and we all tried to follow his example.I really miss our talks,the cook outs,and many other wonderful memories.The pain doesn't go away but it does get easier.I still occasionally feel tears run down my face but I know I will see him again when it's my turn to go.GOD send you strength and peace.I keep us all in my prayers.

Aug 23, 2013
my hero my heart my dad
by: Doreen U.K.

Karena I am sorry for your loss of your Dad. Your dad was such a good age and this is the time health issues become worse and a burden to the elderly. They can't cope with health issues at their age and yet this is the cruelty of old age. It creeps up on all of us, but as we get older we find it hard to cope with medical issues so at least we know how our parents feel as they get older. They don't want to be a burden to us their children. I am at this crossroads now and don't want to be a burden to my elderly children. The biggest concern is ending up with cancer. My husband died of his cancer 15 months ago and it has been a long hard cancer journey. I know how you feel to see your loved one suffer from this disease and try to cling onto life with some hope only to lose the battle. We only have so much fight in us.
Take one day at a time. Hold onto to the belief that you will see your father again. This is what keeps me going each day. The Hope of knowing I will see my husband again. I hope the days ahead get easier for you and that you have good support in your grief.

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