My Hero,... My Papa

by Becca Evans
(Ball Ground, Ga, USA)

I Love My Hero

I Love My Hero

I Love My Hero

My grandpa (papa) was my hero. He was that person I looked to as understandable. The man I saw do everything. The one who wiped away all my tear's, and helped me get over my fear's. I looked to him for guidance. He taught me right from wrong. He was always there. Never left me. He was so brave. So strong. I saw him for the last time In a hospital bed. So helpless, and sick. When My parents told me he had pancreatic cancer, I was In a place trying to get help for previous trauma In my life. I didn't believe them. I screamed and cried. It couldn't be true. But It was all to real. I tried to end my life multiple time's. I didn't think I could live without him. There was no way. I needed him. He was there for me when no one else was. I got to go to the hospital once to see my papa. He was my papa, just trapped In a unfamiliar body. The tubes, and wires. The look on his face, and the sound of his voice. I knew In my heart he wasn't gonna make It. But I couldn't accept It. I still don't. He couldn't leave me. I can't describe all the feeling's and fear's I had In that moment. I tried to imagine life without him, but I failed multiple times. He had always been there, He can't just not be there. Before I left, I was In the room by myself, with him. He could barley talk, but he told me he would always love me, and he wasn't leaving me. He was just getting a pass into Heaven and could now be with me all the time. Protect me from my fear's and wipe my tear's away. Hole me, and wrap his wing's around me when I needed a hug. Then he said I'll always be here. Just keep your eyes open for me. I'm the whistle in the wind, the cold breeze on your face, The shadow that seems to be following you. Then he gave me his hand and said I was still his baby girl, and asked one thing from me. That was to straighten my life up. To stop running and cutting. To get the help I needed. He died a few day's later. We knew for two weeks that he was sick before he got his wing's. I was 16 then. I've changed a lot. I am now 18, soon to be 19. I am having a baby boy, and I'm doing great. I got the help I needed, and I no longer cut. I live my life day to day, cause we are never promised tomorrow. I learned a lot from my papa, but the last time I saw him, I learned the most from him. I learned that he is never going to leave me. He has been here with me. He still help's me. He helped me change my life around, and I know he would be proud of me. The hardest thing I ever had to deal with was losing my papa. My best friend. My hero. I'll never forget, I just live my life for us now. My papa, me and my unborn son. He will know how wonderful and what a great man his great-grandpa was and is. I love you papa! Forever loved.

Elmer S. Evans
Jan 28th, 1941 to Feb 22nd, 2010

Comments for My Hero,... My Papa

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Jan 26, 2013
My Hero,....My Papa
by: Doreen U.K

Becca I am sorry for your loss of your Papa. It does hurt when the people who nurtured us to become who we are today suddenly die and leave us. WE start to feel all alone. Death and Grief is such a long and painful process to go through. Some deaths are more painful than others, due to the nature of the relationship and bond we had with that person. I understand how you feel and how difficult life can be now. If you struggle at all with your grief then go and see a grief counsellor who will support you and help you move forward into a life with your unborn son that will again become meaningful.

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