my husband is having an affair
I met my husband 14 years ago. I fell in love because he was kind, intelligent, ambitious but most of all he was kind and thoughtful.
We got engaged, then I got pregnant, got married, had another child.
Life was busy with two young children but good. I loved my family more than anything.
My husband was climbing the career ladder. When we first met we earned the same. I decided to very much take a back seat and look after the kids and he progressed.
The downside with a demanding job is the long hours he worked and the deadlines and stress. He also made several business trips abroad which meant he was away for up to two weeks at a time.
The effect this had on our relationship meant I was tired a lot from my job, children, housework and looking after everything. He was out of the house 12,13 or 14 hours every day, coming home just to see children 10 minutes before they went to bed. We weren't communicating as well as before, he seemed preoccupied all the time. I was tired and resentful. When I tried to talk to him he rebuffed me telling me how busy he was or how he had an email to send or a presentation to finish.
One day my youngest child was off school sick so I wanted to do some work from home. I switched on out shared home laptop and noticed my husband had left his work emails on. As I was just about to close the screen down I noticed in the top line that there were kisses in the email. I opened the email and it was a very flirty email from a work colleague. I searched on her name in the inbox and dozens of emails popped up, extremely flirtatious, sexually suggestive but no actual proof. I was devastated. I asked him about it and he was very contrite and said it meant nothing and he would never do anything. He said it was s silly flirtation. I felt uneasy but had to believe him.
Not long after he was away on a long business trip. This person he flirted with was also on the trip along with half dozen others. He said he was so busy with work he hardly saw her. He skyped the kids every day but I felt he was really connecting with me. When we collected him from the airport he seemed different and I asked him what went on between the two of them. He promised nothing happened but that he really liked her as they had a lot in common.
We went on a family holiday for two weeks. He was distant but it was OK. No drama. We had a lot of fun times for the children's sake. I was still feeling vulnerable and worried about his friendship with his female work colleague.
After our two week break we came home, he went back to work and the children and I went to my mums to pick up the dog as she had looked after it whilst we were on holiday. Whilst there my husband concocted some story of what he was doing that night which didn't ring true. The next morning I called his bluff and said I knew he hadn't gone home and asked him where he'd been. Eventually he admitted he'd spent the night at her house. And subsequently admitted he had spent the two week business trip sleeping with her in her hotel roon . I was beyond devastated and asked him to leave immediately. After a couple of weeks he begged to come home, said he realised his stupidity and only wanted to be with me forever. I was scared and nervous but happy he wanted to be with his family. I tentatively suggested we go for counselling and that we would work through it.
His feelings lasted for 5 days. He then said he loved her and went again. This was in. August. Its now October and I'm still devastated, missing him like crazy and so sad and scared for the future