My husband left me after 26 years for another women

by Lyn

My husband left me 9 weeks ago for another women she also left her husband. He had been very funny for two weeks but didn't think anything of it because he works 7 days a week and job is stressful. I sat with him one night and send are you ok is work getting to you. He said I don't want this any more. I said what. All of it. I then said have you been having an affair he said yes. Was going in for 3 months but didn't sleep with her until last two weeks. I begged him to work things out he said I can't it's gone to far and I love her. It had only been 3 months surly that can't be love. He walked out on me then came back 1 week later for clothes. Me and my daughter just cried on settee , we have only spoken twice in 9 weeks and that was about home and daughter. He moved into a flat that his renting for 6 months. The other women and her 10 yr child is living in her home. My daughter has her dad to be on his own for 2 months so he could sort out his head and try to build his relationship back up with her and grandaughter he said sorry I'm with ow now. He texts my daughter once a week to say he loves and missing her and hope in time she will forgive him and talk to him. She said while your still with her dad I will never speak to you again. You left us and didn't care so you now can deal with losing me and grandaughter now. It's breaking my heart. I have loved my husband for over 26 years and now his cold towards me. He is still paying mortgage and bills for now but I don't know how long for. I can't eat or sleep I haven't worked for over 26 years and I'm so scared. I now have found out that he has taken off his wedding ring and ow has. He gives me a small amount of money to get food he is on over £1000 a week. I so want my husband back but no in my heart it's over. How and why do people abandon their partners after all these years and move on so quickly , my son works for his dad and says he was down for first few weeks but seems ok now but is very upset that daughter will not speak to him. Do these relationship work out? Pls help me I feel my life at 47 is over

Comments for My husband left me after 26 years for another women

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Aug 21, 2014
by: Anonymous

I'm going through the same thing at the moment and wondered how you are getting on now?

Oct 21, 2013
Comments for My husband left me after 26 years for another women
by: Lisa

Hi Lyn, I am so sorry for your lost, I am too in a similar situation as you. I have read alot in the internet on how men cope with divorce and the only thing that comes up is: The way men grieve the lost of their wives and homes is by finding another person, this is how they deal with a break up or divorce, they think that this new person will make them forget about their wives, I also found online that men take longer to get over a divorce than women this is due to the fact that we as women we easily vent and talk to our friends and family about our break ups, men dont, they do not express themselves as we do. This findings of mine have given me that piece of mind that I needed, as least I know that whatever I am feeling at the moment my ex is feeling too, if not much worse than I am. I am lucky that I have a job and I can support myself and my son. I hope you can find the emotional place you want to be, but keep strong, and only time will tell. Time will help you heal,,,and it will make it better. In the mean time, you have to a better person for yourself, dont let depression get to you, keep strong minded, remember you were once the love of his life, obviously there is something in you that he loved so much that he married you. Try to find what it is. Be cheerful and happy around him, he doesnt want to come home to a angry wife.

Fix your self nice and always try to be positive about things, another thought that gets me going is: "Only God knows why, only he knows why this is happening to me, and I know he sent this my way because I am strong, because I can do this, because there is something always better out there for me, I know that is God's plan for me"
I always thinl this to myself and I also think that if: My and my ex are meant to be together because that is God's will, we will and this is just a test that our love for each other has to surpass. If not then Only God knows why, and that could be because there is a better person for me out there, somebody that will love me unconditionally for who I am, and what I am.

I am going to keep you in my prayers and remeber you have to keep strong.

Sep 27, 2013
My husband lef me after 26 years for another woman.
by: Doreen UK

Lyn Hold your head up high. You did your best. Your husband is so tired with work he can't see clearly.
Jobs are hard to find and even when you do find one it will give you confidence and self esteem. Also good to get out of the house for a bit.
Don't try to rescue your daughter. Just offer her a listening ear. Don't push her to see her father, she will do this in her own time when her anger has died down. This is a process. Don't let it kill you inside. Don't try and take on too much and fix everyone otherwise you will make yourself ill. Remember. ONE DAY AT A TIME. Tomorrow's are always a new day and this helps a lot when we are going through so much suffering and sorrow. If your husband didn't give you any warning he was unhappy then you would only know by the signs. The main one is distancing himself from you and snapping at you and being secretive. All signs something is not right. I wish you better days ahead and comfort in the stress and sadness you feel right now.

Sep 27, 2013
Feel so low
by: Lyn

Even if we sell home now there isn't enough for me to get a small home. My h said he doesn't want to sell at moment our mortgage is high we bought this home and market went down and then did lots to improve home because this was the last home we where going to grow old in and stay. So even if sold we would only get £15000 each at most. I'm out looking for work so at least I can pay some bills but very hard. People just don't seem to give me a chance. Also my daughter is so low at moment she wants nothing to do with her dad and will not talk to him. He texts her once a week to say his missing her and loves her and he hopes in time she will talk to him. She says to me his dead to me now. It's killing me inside and I don't no what to do to help her. I'm scared I push her away if I force her to talk to him. I feel dead inside and just wish he had at least told me he was unhappy. He works 5.30 am till 6 at night. Only has one half day on a Sunday off. It should have been me that was bored with marriage not him. But I supported him with work and tried so hard to be a good wife.

Sep 27, 2013
My husband left me after 26 years for another woman.
by: Doreen UK

Lyn I am sorry for your loss of marriage and where you are now in your painful life. Life will be pretty scary right now wondering how you will go on and care for yourself financially. Take one step at a time and concentrate on YOU. & How you are going to move forward. Your husband probably got very tired of the daily grind and having to work so hard that he gave up. He then found this woman who was just a diversion. She has a young daughter so he will wake up one day and see things differently. For now everything is sugar coated and he is loving it. I am finding out that nothing in life is FOREVER.
Marriages are breaking up all the time. Life is difficult. You need to make sure how you stand where the house is concerned. Your husband will eventually get tired of paying the mortgage and bills. If possible try and sell the house and with your half share you can get a small place for yourself till you are able to take the next step which may be getting a job just to get out of the house and enlarge your world. Part-time work may be a way forward. Once these two things are in place you will feel more secure and be able to tackle what comes next. Don't see the mountain you have to climb otherwise this will swallow you up and leave you depressed. Prioritise what you have to do. IF your husband ever comes back to YOU? make sure a roof over your head is secure. Make sure your name is on the house so no one can leave you vulnerable and homeless. Depending on what part of the UK you live you may be able to find a home that is affordable otherwise re-locate to somewhere affordable and start a new life for yourself. SECURITY is the key to survival. You still have your son and daughter and grandchild. Make them your FOCUS. Then you will be able to take the next step which is finding someone else if you want to be in a relationship. It is so very hard being with someone for many years and it all ends. But such is life now. One's security is being threatened all the time. No sense in staying with someone if the love has gone. It will be far worse living in a loveless relationship where you are doing the giving and nothing more. Please write back with updates so we know how you are doing.

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