My husband left me for a man-17 years ago. I am still not through grieving.

by L. Haney

I had a storybook marriage or so I thought for almost 10 years. A wonderful life with a husband that loved and adored me and gave me the world. We went on fun trips and had the same hobbies.

One day, out of the blue, he said he didn't love me anymore and he was leaving. No signs, no warning, no clues. I was beyond devastated. When he talked to me a few days later, after I tried to locate him, he told me that my husband had died and he was someone else.

I cried every day for a year. I had to sell most all of my possessions to get enough money to move, as I couldn't afford the townhouse we had. He took the truck we shared, so I had no transportation. We had been in this new town for only 3 months and I had been on my new job for 6 weeks. I loved our old town, our old home and my old job.

Time passed by and I found out he left me for a man. Silly me still kept thinking he would come back to me. Years went by and I found someone else who wanted to marry me. He is wonderful, but after the hurt I experienced, I will never give my heart 100% to anyone.

Today, 17 years later, I still love him. My current husband knows how I feel. As far as the grieving process, I have never gotten mad. He has gotten married recently, to a man, and I'm still not mad. I need to find a way to get angry and finally let go.

Comments for My husband left me for a man-17 years ago. I am still not through grieving.

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Aug 20, 2011
I married a practicing homosexual 2
by: Susan

Knowing that there was little I could do to fix anything, I decided to pack up all my desires and put them away. "If I don't desire than I can't be disappointed." was the way I chose to cope. What I didn't know was how destructive this would be to my overall health, and how contrary it was to the nature of who God designed me to be.Prov 13:12 says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life." It makes the body sick, too.We were created for abundant life.By hiding truth (what we desire), we experience death. Jesus gives us hope and life comes from embracing truth.He wants us to experience His joy delight in Him.It was another 18 years later before the truth finally came out, in spite of many efforts to expose it. My husband came into our marriage as a practicing homosexual, addicted to male porn and gambling. He was skilled at hiding his secrets."I only got married because I wanted people to think I was normal." he told me, our pastor, and our children. It came as no surprise to me that he never loved me;never desired me.I just never knew why.I blamed myself for 38 years of marriage.His statement, as hurtful as it is, was freeing in a way.Now I know that it wasn't my fault; that there wasn't anything I could do to fix our marriage; though I tried and prayed for 38 years to make that happen. I still carry false guilt and want to fix it.I still second guess all the flashbacks that I keep having but little by little I think God is restoring to me what the locusts have eaten for the last 38 years.My husband (a man who still believes he is a born again Christian) divorced me and has disappeared into the homosexual world. He has chosen that over our marriage, over our church family, over his daughters and over 15 grandchildren. There is very little contact between him and any in his loving, Christian family. That's the way he wants it. This all happened three years ago.I am still at the beginning of the grieving process.It's very difficult.It has put me in the hospital on more than one occasion as I have developed Crohn's disease during this time.But God has been good and life with Bob has not been all bad.I have four godly daughters who love the Lord and serve Him with their whole broken hearts.Three are married to godly men: one a pastor and two deacons in our church. We enjoy 15 wonderful grandchildren who miss their papa and pray for him every day. To know that my children walk in truth is all that I need. God is sufficient and always has been for the 38 years of my marriage. To Him be all the Glory and Praise for ever and ever.

Aug 20, 2011
I unknowingly married a homosexual
by: Susan

I am so sorry for the pain that your first husband has caused you and more sorry that it continues to rule in your life.I pray you can be free from that bondage.For 20 years of marriage,I thought I was married to a very immature man. He never showed interest in me. While we did have four daughters,there was never any real intimacy in our marriage (physical or emotional).A good friend of ours sat me down and asked me some very tough questions about my husband.I was encouraged.I thought God was finally going to expose the secrets and my husband would be able to get help. to be continued

Dec 21, 2010
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry. I think I understand how you feel although my situation is different and not a long time since the end yet. I hope one day you can heal more in whatever way helps you to.

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