My Husband My Best friend My Everything

(Lake George, NY)

My husband of 18 years was diagnosed with Lung caner in November of 2011. We were sent to a hospital an hour from us to have a biopsy and they collapsed his lung. After 2 weeks in cpu and then a terrifying brain surgery his oncologist told us she expected a full cure..sent him to to await a laser procedure. 2 months later we were told they canceled it and his cancer had spread. I had been begging them to not wait. they started full brain radiation, did 2 weeks of that and started him on chemo. He was so week but his oncologist was still saying full cure. after a few more weeks we were told he had about 3 months left. He died 5 days later. It feel like he was taken in a accident. We never digested the fact he would not get the full cure they promised. I firmly believe a second biopsy is what realy killed him. I am so angry and so lost with out him. We are only 44 years old. We did not have life insurance. His funeral broke me, and we have two boys that are devasted. I can barely get through the day and the anerican cancer soscity has ignored my plees for help....Im so lost...lonely and angry..

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Oct 06, 2012
My Husband My Best friend My Everything
by: Doreen U.K.

I am so sorry for your loss of your husband from lung cancer. Of course you will feel such ANGER at the mixed messages you were getting from the Oncologist. HOPE then LOSS OF HOPE. and back and forth. You were LET DOWN BADLY by your medical staff caring for your husband. Here in England they have a postcode Lottery which means if you live in the right area you get the Cancer drug to prolong your life. You get LUCKY. You get the drug. Many hearts are broken trying to fight the authorities for better care. Many are let down just like you.
My husband was diagnosed on March 28th 2009 with MESOTHELIOMA (lung cancer caused by working with ASBESTOS) My husband's lung cancer was inoperable, incurable, and aggressive. I still think there is something they could have done better, but due to the cuts in care you don't get the full service. I nursed Steve for 3yrs.39days where Steve died at home on May 5th 2012. Which was 5 months ago yesterday. My heart is still BROKEN by my loss. I was married 44yrs. I didn't get to have Steve's retirement which was for us and he earned this BIG TIME. The government couldn't wait to claw back the pension Steve had built up over 47yrs. We didn't have insurance. Steve got a small compensation due to this Industrial Disease which helped pay for the funeral. I am BLESSED Here. If Steve had died of ordinary Lung Cancer I wouldn't have been able to bury my husband. We would have been forced to sell the house Steve built over his lifetime. I couldn't bear having money worries with my loss. My heart goes out to you and all the other people struggling financially. I can't bear each new day without Steve. He was and will always be MY FIRST and MY LAST LOVE. I will never LOVE again like I loved Steve. My sisters all 4 of them are heartbroken. THEY Loved Steve like a BROTHER not In-Law. You will find that a lot of doors close to you. The Cancer Society let me down also. Steve couldn't even get good Pain Killing medication. he died a slow death in Pain. These are the memories I have that break me in two. I can't get these horrible pictures out of my head. Maybe it will take TIME to do this. Christmas is coming. My daughter wants me to be involved. I CAN'T. But I will do my best to make Life good for her. I have 3 Adult Children. Maria lives at home. The other 2 are married and living their own lives. I hope that you have supportive family and friends to help you through this crisis and ongoing till you get back on your feet. I hope that their will be Men folk in your family who will be a MENTOR to your 2 sons.

Oct 05, 2012
my husband ,my best friend,my everythng
by: silver

My husband died May 29,2011.He bladder cancer before he died and the prognosis after chemo was that he was clear.I wonder sometimes if you ever get rid of cancer once it invades a part of your body.He had his bladder checked after the chemo and was pronounced he was clear and for the next 2 checkups.He died before the 3rd one was due.He had emphysema and died from septic complications of pneumonia.His kidneys failed due to the poisening.His heart was failing.My point to all of this is that while he was on the respirator they did x-rays and found a tumor in his lung-probably cancer.Even if he had lived he would have been on oxygen 24/7 and chemo.I miss him so terribly.We were married 33 yrs.Our children are grown so I have no one to take care of but me.What keeps me going is my faith in GOD and my extended family(my kids and grandchildren).Also I became guardian of my older brother when my mother and dad died 7 months apart in 1209 & 1210.As much as I want to lie down and die so I can be with him again,I can't.I look forward to the day I can be with him.My kids though have given me orders that I have to be here to see my grandchildren get married.The youngest is 8yrs old.I can give you no words that will take the pain away. I can give you no words that will make you want to get out of bed or to stop crying.Only time will lessen the need to do it every day,as I still do.My darling husband used to say,"You never get over it.You learn to go on in spite of it.You learn to live with it" His mother died one yr before we got married and he eventually told me that he missed her all the time but he could think of her in the good times most of the time.That's what I look forward to.sending love and prayers to you GOD bless you and give you strength

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