My Husband, My Best Friend, My Life

I lost my husband Joe on 3/6/10. He was my best friend and my whole world. We were married for 10.5 yrs., but together for 18 yrs. When we first met, we were told the relationship would not last due to the age difference (he was 31 yrs. my senior). Neither one of us cared what anyone else thought, we loved each other dearly and our age difference didn’t matter to us.

Joe was the only person in my life that I could be my true self with. He loved me for who I was and nothing else. We battled many health issues through the years; he was diabetic which eventually led to kidney failure, which led to him being on dialysis for the last four years. It was a tough road, but we leaned on each other and over came each challenge.

A week before he died, he fell and broke his hip, he went through hip replacement surgery with flying colors, the therapists were in awe at how well he was doing in rehab and at how fast he was progressing. Then on 3/4/10 he suffered a massive heart attack, the doctors said it was just a matter of time and then the love of my life was gone.

It has been three months now and it still feels like it was yesterday, I miss him so much and do not know how I am supposed to go on without him, he was my world and I feel dead inside without him. The first week after he died my days were filled with funeral arrangements and calls from friends and family showing support, I thanked God for all the people I had around me who loved my husband and I and I thought with their help I could get through my loss.

But now I realize that it must have been my husband that was so loved by everyone, my phone is silent and mailbox is empty. Where are all these people when I really need them? They have moved on with their lives and mine is at a stand still.

I want my husband back, I want to hold him one more time, I want to tell him again how much I love him and how much his love has meant to me. I live now for the day that we can both be together again forever.

KJ