My Husband, My Best Friend, My Life

I lost my husband Joe on 3/6/10. He was my best friend and my whole world. We were married for 10.5 yrs., but together for 18 yrs. When we first met, we were told the relationship would not last due to the age difference (he was 31 yrs. my senior). Neither one of us cared what anyone else thought, we loved each other dearly and our age difference didn’t matter to us.

Joe was the only person in my life that I could be my true self with. He loved me for who I was and nothing else. We battled many health issues through the years; he was diabetic which eventually led to kidney failure, which led to him being on dialysis for the last four years. It was a tough road, but we leaned on each other and over came each challenge.

A week before he died, he fell and broke his hip, he went through hip replacement surgery with flying colors, the therapists were in awe at how well he was doing in rehab and at how fast he was progressing. Then on 3/4/10 he suffered a massive heart attack, the doctors said it was just a matter of time and then the love of my life was gone.

It has been three months now and it still feels like it was yesterday, I miss him so much and do not know how I am supposed to go on without him, he was my world and I feel dead inside without him. The first week after he died my days were filled with funeral arrangements and calls from friends and family showing support, I thanked God for all the people I had around me who loved my husband and I and I thought with their help I could get through my loss.

But now I realize that it must have been my husband that was so loved by everyone, my phone is silent and mailbox is empty. Where are all these people when I really need them? They have moved on with their lives and mine is at a stand still.

I want my husband back, I want to hold him one more time, I want to tell him again how much I love him and how much his love has meant to me. I live now for the day that we can both be together again forever.


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Jun 20, 2010
your husband
by: Mari

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. May God be with you at this difficult time. I truly understand when you say that you wish you could feel his kiss on your cheek one more time. I have said that many times myself.

I too noticed that people are not coming around anymore as they did at first. My family all live in different places and just my daughter lives here and her husband and kids. My grandkids have been a great comfort.

I miss my husband more each day and at all hours. That is the hardest part. On June 22nd it will be 7 months since he went to be with the Lord and on June 25th he would have been 71 yrs old. I stay close to the Lord and have 2 jobs to keep busy and Wed night Bible study. The brothers and sisters at church are a great comfort to me.
Please accept my condolences and remember that God is always with you to see you through. And there are wonderful people on this board who care.

As for people not coming around I think that is usually how it is because I sure have not seen a soul since my home was overflowing with family and friends. You might call someone you trust just to talk. They all return to their own lives.
Time is a great healer.

Be sure to take care of yourself and keep posting because this board is simply awesome. It helps to get it all out. God bless you.

Jun 14, 2010
Your Husband
by: Anonymous

I fully empathize and sympathize with you. I lost my husband of 26 years on 21 Jan 2010. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 8 months, 3 days before he died. Prior to being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer he was fit as a fiddle and was never ill. He was an Army soldier for 21+ years.

Like you many, many people were around for the first few weeks after he passed. Like you after the "dust" had settled, the people were gone. I had to accept the fact that life goes on, we cannot ask people to stop their lives because our lives have come to a screeching halt. Each day I strive to find a way to continue on, to blaze a new path. I know that my husband is in Heaven watching over me and guiding my path as I begin this new chapter of my life.

I think people mean well, it's just that they don't know what to say and they don't know what to do, and rather than hurt you further they just stay quiet.

Jun 13, 2010
Lost Love
by: Brenda Mack

I am so sorry for your loss. My grandfather was 30 years older than my grandmother. They had 9 Children and she died when she was 40 trying to give birth to the 10th. People used to ask her why she married someone so much older. Her answer was, "Better to be an old mans' angel than a young mans' slave". She had been married before to a man her age.

I guess that speaks volumes about how well my grandfather treated her. He was a poor man as well. The younger husband had money. You cannot pick who you fall in love with. You were blessed to have your husband and I feel your pain. I just lost my 27 year old son and he was the light of his Mamas' heart. I know your pain and wish I could say or do something to help it. I lost another child back in 72 and I do know that only time helps but right now that clock seems to have stopped for me.

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