MY HUSBAND MY LIFE

by E
(HIGHLAND, IN)


I have had 30 happy years with my Husband. My Jim passed away in the shower, from a massive heart attack, on November 20, 2012. This was the worst day of my life. I honestly do not know how I survived this devastating experience. We were together the day before he passed away, shopping, dining, joking, and laughing, we had the time of our life. I wish I would have had some kind of clue that something like this was going to happen, but I did not. God took my Jim with no warning. I hope my Husband is still with me in spirit. It will be four months since Jim had left, and I am so lost. I need his guidance to help me through. E.

Comments for MY HUSBAND MY LIFE

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Jul 26, 2013
It's my husband
by: Anonymous

I lost my husband almost 3 years ago this sept. I am having such a hard time being alone after 45 years to gather. I am having panic attacks and have been very illl with digestive problems the last 3 months along with bleeding ulcers. I just can't seem to bear the loneliness. I have prayed every day that god will help me as I know this loneliness is why I am so sick. I have three wonderful children and grandchildren and pets that need me and he wouldn't want me to be this sad.

Jul 10, 2013
No purpose
by: Darlene

E. I am sorry for the loss of your husband. I know the pain you are in. I lost my husband in October of 2012 suddenly also. This journey is unbearable. I am also from Indiana ...Merrillville. I am hoping that it will get better but I am 9 months in and the pain is still so raw. I am thankful for this website. I go to it everyday. It helps me to realize I am not alone on this grieving process. If you care to email me let me know. Would love to communicate with other widows. My blog is on this website YOURSPACE under No Purpose. You can write me there. God be with you and us all.

Darlene Merrillville Indiana

Jul 08, 2013
So sorry this happened to you
by: Doreen U.K.

B I am sorry you lost your husband and at a young age. You say you bought a new home and don't want to live in this home. This is how I felt when we got a new extension. We finally got this done having waited over 30yrs. My husband worked all over the world long hours so didn't get the chance to enjoy his home of make the changes for us all. When he did he dies and I went through turmoil. I didn't know whether to sell the home and move. It is unwise to make any decisions in the first 2 years after loss. I made decisions I now regret. But I did make a decision to still live in the home my husband built. I put my own stamp on the home and made it a cosy nest since I had to live and I had to make the home comfortable. It has been 14 months now of being a widow and I feel more stable but still sad my husband is not here to enjoy his life In the home he built.
I believe in the afterlife so I will be reunited in Heaven with my husband and we will have a home we will build and it will be forever. This gives me the hope to go on in life and enjoy the home we built together. Changing my attitude towards my situation allows me the capacity to live each day with renewed hope.

Jul 08, 2013
Why did you leave me???
by: Doreen U.K.

Mrs. V THANK YOU for your encouraging words. I feel the same way as you do, sad fact is we live miles apart. What we widows miss and lack from our loss is human contact. If a widow/widower is living on their own it carries a double portion of grief. Living on one's own is hard and crippling. To have no one to talk to all day and every day is the a horrible type of grief to bear. Every day becomes the same and life can feel like an eternity of lonliness.
I am happy you have found solace in God and your church work to keep you active. I watch God TV a lot and I find this fills the gap of lonliness and isolation. I don't get to church because of ill health but God comes down to meet me at my level and He is a constant help in times of Grief. The secret is living with structure to one's day however we choose. I also believe that God is carrying us which is why we sometimes wonder how we got through the day. That is when Jesus carried us. We just go on each day and as the TV Evangelists say. When a person dies they go to meet God and when Jesus comes back they will rise and look into the face of Jesus. All the pain and disease from their body is gone and they will arise with a new body and a glorified one. Now this is a Blessing to hold onto and help get us through each day. Peace and Love and Comfort to Everyone in Grief.

Jul 07, 2013
No purpose
by: Darlene

I know just how you feel. I am from merrillville and I lost my husband in October from a massive heart attack. I found him in the basement. My life is empty. And lonely. I am alone all day everyday. I have 2 grown daughters, but they have busy lives. So I sit home all day and cry. It is coming up a year soon for me and I do not feel any different then when it first happen. Actually I feel worse because the fog has lifted and am faced with reality. I am told it takes a long time. If you fell like emailing me or talking let me know. I am under your space on this web site under NO PURPOSE. Take care and know we are all feeling this awful journey they call grief..

May 08, 2013
I miss my husband, kindly pray for me
by: Mrs. Rebecca Daniel

Dear friends,

I AM REBECCA HERE FROM MALAYSIA. IT HAS BEEN 2 MONTHS. MARCH 9, 2013 THAT MY HUSBAND WAS CALLED HOME. MY HUSBAND BATTLED LYMPHOMA CANCER FOR 2 1/2 YEARS. HE WAS DOING GOOD AND ALL OF A SUDDEN BEGINNINGOF THIS YEAR (2013) THE DOCTOR SAID THE CANCER SPREAD ALL OVER. SUDDENLY HE GOT VERY SICK. I MISS MY HUSBAND SO MUCH, GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT I AM GOING THRU. I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT IT WILL GET EASIER BY THE DAY. THAT IS NOT SO, IT GETS HARDER AS TIME GOES BY. HE WAS A WONDERFUL HUSBAND , DAD , AND FRIEND.HE HAS BEEN MISSED SO MUCH BY HIS KIDS.THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE, IF ONLY I COULD SEE HIM ONE MORE TIME I WOULD HUG HIM AND TELL HIM HOW MUCH I LOVE AND MISS HIM SO MUCH.HE KNEW HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM, FOR 9 YEARS HE ALWAYS GOT A GOODNIGHT KISS AND I WOULD ALWAYS TELL HIM , I LOVE YOU DEAR.

Apr 17, 2013
MY HUSBAND MY LIFE
by: E.

Hi!!! On the 20th of this month, it will be 5 months without my Husband Jim. Days go by slow, but with the support of Friends and Family, it is still getting better day to day for now. Thank you for all of your replies, this website is very important for all of us... Lets keep it going, before you know it, the Holidays will be here. God Bless us all!!! xx

Apr 05, 2013
MY HUSBAND MY LIFE
by: E.

Thank You all for your comments... I am still taking this day to day. I continue to have hope. My Husband has been gone four months and three weeks. This has definately been a challenge for my family. But we manage, somehow. We grieve together especially during the Holidays. Greatful for all.

Apr 01, 2013
My Husband My Life
by: Doreen U.K.

Padma and Mrs. V thank you for your post reply which was filled with such HOPE & ENCOURAGEMENT to all of us who are grieving the loss of a husband/partner. Your very positive feedback has been such a comfort to me. I am a believer also. But I fell prey to the human condition where I acted out in the flesh and not the Spirit. Both of you are such a breath of fresh air and support. Spiritual thinking is what gives us the hope to go on in life with full dependence on the God who created us and is our Creator of Life and also Takes our life when HE CHOOSES. He doesn't do it to hurt us, even though it does hurt for a long time. We can draw strength from God to continue our life. Our Hope is knowing that we will be reunited as God promised before He left this earth. "I go to prepare a place for you. I will come back again for you so that you may be where I am also." This is our Blessed Hope of eternal life to come. We are called to be strength and encouragement for each other and may we all continue to lift each other up from our valley of grief. God Bless you all.

Apr 01, 2013
I lost my husband too
by: Padma

I read through all your grieving experiences of losing your most beloved (someone who can never replace)and I share my sorrow in this too as I also lost him 9 months back (23/6/2012) due to massive heart attack as well. He was 58 and we were to fly abroad to attend our daughter's graduation who excelled as a Doctor in a week's time when he suddenly collapsed one Saturday morning and that was the end of my world.
I was shocked, totally lost,thinking how could this have happened to me.
Days, weeks, months have passed and in 3 months time it will be a Year. I have never ever been seperated this long and now I have to travel this journey alone but God always have plans for you. He toook my husband but I still have my 3 wonderful children and now my world is only on them.
I have spoken to God, accepted the guilt and also got the reply from God that there's always a reason why he choose to take them away so soon. If they are needed to help someone else or save a life that's the sacrifice we have to give.

God's knows it all and I now leave everything to God. Believe in him and surrender to him and he will take care of you and your family.

Mar 22, 2013
why did you leave me???.
by: mrs V.

I was feeling so lonely last night, desperate for any kind of grief relief that will ease me of the crippling sadness that hit me from time to time. What suddenly occured in my mind was to google: Why did my husband leave me? I was not serious about this. I just wanted to release the pain in some way I was led to this beautiful website and found out that there are other people who are in the same predicament-people who will feel my pain and who can relate to my story. I lost my husband December of last year. It was a sudden death caused by a massive heart attack. It was indeed a very painful, shocking experience because he was his normal self that day. After the tragic incident, I felt so betrayed by life. Sometimes the guilt factor kicks in. I blame myself for not having done things I should have done and not having said the words that I should have spoken to him. Honestly, I cannot explain how and why I still manage to get by in life. I feel so empty and lost. People tell me that I will heal eventually-- that I am still in the painful stage of the grieving process. What I know is that I find ways to help myself. I want to share with you that the greatest help I get is drawing strength from prayers. I also got myself busier with church commitments. It is true that we can SEEK HAPPINESS IN THE SERVICE OF THE LORD. When I feel sad, I hum church hymns and try to understand the lyrics that reveal GOD'S promises. Deep in my heart, I know that there will be another time and another place for us. It still hurts badly now but I am sure that time will be on my side and be completely healed. I thank the Lord for I have not questioned his intentions for what happened but all the more tried to draw even closer to Him--- when it seems that all hopes are gone.

Mar 14, 2013
So sorry E, this happened to me
by: B

I am so sorry to read your story. This happened to me during the early hours of 14 August 2012, my wonderful and much- loved husband Don collapsed and died of a massive heart attack. No warning whatsoever. I was talking to him one minute, he was lying collapsed on the floor the next. He wasn't ill. Such a massive shock. He was a healthy eater, never smoked, didn't drink much, healthy weight - everything you are advised to do. I feel so cheated. He was 58, we had just moved into a new home, had worked hard for 2 months decorating, furnishing etc. I can't even live in it now. I don't want to live AT ALL. Most of me is buried in the cemetery with him - my hear and soul are with him, I just feel like a shell. I'm sending you my love, I know it doesn't help the pain but I DO understand xx

Mar 13, 2013
My Husband My Life
by: Doreen U.K.

E I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved husband to a sudden death. This is how life is Happy one minute and then gone the next. It is so unpredictable. We are never prepared for this. I used to have a fleeting moment every now and then if things were going good in life and I got a wave of FEAR which said. "Perhaps this is too good to last." I wonder if things will change it all". I then got to think one day that because my husband who had parents who died in their late 80,s that he would be safe and so I settled into a feeling of contentment.
My husband as a young man in his 20's cut asbestos not known then as a deadly substance and so had a slow growing deadly cancer growing for 40yrs. The time limit is between 40-60yrs. My husband was spot on for 40yrs. I said to God. "Why couldn't it have been 60yrs. his cancer showed up. At least we would have got some retirement to enjoy. But Steve died 10 months ago of MESOTHELIOMA. Lung cancer. The day of diagnosis was my day of devastation. Steve died slowly over 3yrs. My world ended then. I am just surviving. I hope that you will have the support in family and friends to help you get through this loss. I have survived because of this support for me. But it is dying down now and so the lonliness is setting in. Like all of us you will slowly find your way back, but it won't be easy. God be with you always!.

Mar 13, 2013
He is with you
by: Anonymous

E.
Love doesn't end. He is with you. Sometimes we need something so that we will know it. I am sending you a link to a site that lists the 20 signs of After Death Communication.

www.christineduminiak.com/adc.html

My husband of 45 years passed April of 2012. We were everything to each other and I wanted nothing more than to join him. Because he has sent me signs and contact and dreams, I am still here. I know his spirit is with me and we will be together again. I wish you peace. Julie

Mar 13, 2013
So Sorry
by: June

So very sorry E. about your husband Jim. I can honestly say I know what you are going through. It is such a terrible time. I lost my husband, Mike a year ago (March 8, 2012). I really don't know how I have made it through this past year. I think it is getting worse, I must have been in shock for most of the year. My children, grandchildren, friends, cat and dog have been a great help but I miss Mike so much. We were married for almost 42 years.
This web site has been very helpful.
Thinking about you, the way life was is changed and hoping you have people around to listen, hug and cry with you.
June
Canada

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