my husband passed on 5/27 from a brain tumor.

by arlene
(phoenix, az, usa)

he came home from work on 2/28 at 4:20 -- had dinner. we chatted and at 4:50 he had a seizure. i called 911. 3 months later he was dead from a glioblastoma. we were together almost 42 years. my pain is so great.

i got the diagnoses that it was terminal on 5/10 so he hasn't been in the house since then. he was in hospice -- then assisted living for a month -- then back to hospice where he passed.

i don't know how to cope. no family here. no friends. i've been dealing with several illnesses and he was basically taking care of me.

i miss him so much. he was the love of my life.

Comments for my husband passed on 5/27 from a brain tumor.

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Jun 07, 2012
by: Arlene

i don't feel well enough to be around people. i do have to go out and do certain things, but i just want to sleep.

because my husband was in hospice i'm entitled to a year of grief counseling. a grief counselor is coming to the house in 2 weeks. they also have meetings, but there at night and i can't drive at night. i have trouble with the glare of the other cars.

there's still a lot of paper work to be done. every day it seems like another problem comes up.

yesterday the bank froze my accounts.

Jun 07, 2012
so sorry
by: Arlene

so sorry for your loss. besides the grief i'm scared. my only friend is my massage therapist. when john was diagnosed he became my friend. he's done so much for me. drove me to the hospital many times. helps me with things in the house, i.e., buying and putting salt in the water softener, picking up cat litter. of course he's not only a massage therapist but a realtor and has a wife. i feel bad that he spends so much time with me. he says "don't worry about it". today he took me to the pain doctor for a cervical epidural shot. it was a different doc and he put lidocaine in with the steroid and i had a terrible reaction. took them 2 hours to stabilize me. my BP dropped so low they had to give me an IV. my legs were jerking and i couldn't move my arms. i kept thinking about howie in the waiting room. when they finally released me i had to get to howie's car in a wheelchair. he had to help me into the house. i still couldn't walk well on my own. i kept thinking -- john should be here to take care of me. i have friends in back in new york -- 2 of them suggested i get one of those life alert gadgets.

there's so much to be done -- so much paper work. yesterday the bank froze my account. i had to go to the branch which is a 40 minute ride and open an account under my name. seems like every day there's another problem.

if i didn't have my own health problems i think i could deal with losing john in a better way.

Jun 05, 2012
It is so early
by: Julie

I am so sorry for your loss. My Charlie died 8 weeks ago. We were married 45 years and could never have children. I am so alone, too. I don't find much of anything helps the pain, but I keep coming to sites like this. Writing and talking about them gives a little relief. I hope you can find some.

Jun 05, 2012
I have no family or friends here how do I cope
by: by: Doreen England U.K.

Arlene My heart goes out to you at this difficult time since the passing of your beloved husband.
You experienced a sudden death and did not have time to prepare for this illness.
Being all alone will not help you with your grief. Try and find a bereavement group that help you and support you at this time when you need people around you. Don't isolate yourself as this will intensify your grief and you may spiral into depression.
Keep a journal and write out your feelings and how you are coping or not coping and this will help you to move forward otherwise you could get stuck in grief.
Surround yourself with caring people who will help you carry this heavy load. If you have difficulty and you believe in God. Find a minister of religion you can talk to or wander into a church and take it from there. You need people around you at this time.
I hope this helps you and comforts you to know that people on this site care.
Best wishes

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