My Husband told me 2 days ago he is leaving me.

by Elizabeth Brettig.
(Armadale, Perth, Western Australia.)

I am 53 years old with two teenage daughters. I was having a rest at the computer near the front door after working around the house, when I heard and saw my husbands' old BMW rolling up the lawn where he usually parked it. I wondered why he was home. Was he sick, was there bad news about the loan we had applied so we could add an extension, a second time. He came up quickly up the path and as he approached the door I asked, What has happen? What have you done now?" as he unlocked the door. He looked serious, tears started to well up in my eyes, He get's down on one knee and the words that came out of his mouth I will never forget. Liz I have had 18 good years, but I cannot do this anymore. I got out of my chair threw of my glasses and walked down to the lounge and sat in my rocking chair.( He is 42. )
It was just after 1:30pm and for the next 1 1/2 hours I cried, laughed yelled, and swore at him. I couldn't believe what I heard, after all that I did for him for us for our girls' our home he throws it all in my face by getting down on one knee and telling me he can not do it any more! what a croc that was.
I told him to get out if that is what he wants, you know what he said? "I have no where to go."
I figured out what he thought I would do because of struggles between him and one of our girls for the past year I had threaten to go and live at Mum who has breast cancer for a second time at 83 and has other health issues. Then he would have our house and it would be nice and easy on him.
Well this chook is staying put. He spends his evenings sitting at the dining table watching the tv set alone. Though I don't stop the girls from associating with him.
The girl's are sad, don't want to be in the middle but they don't want to talk or ask questions at the moment.
Yesterday I coped better, today it's hard again like the first day, my stomach is sore, I feel sad lonely and alone. mine family are there for me if I need them. I tell my girls I'm sorry, it's not there fault and I hug and tell them I love them very much.
I don't know about our future, I try to cope and get through each day. Thank you. Take Care.

Comments for My Husband told me 2 days ago he is leaving me.

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Sep 05, 2013
My Husband told me 2 days ago he is leaving me.
by: Doreen U.K.

Elizabeth this is such a sad situation and I am sorry for the place you are in right now. This is a woman's worst nightmare. She is content and happy and then finds out her world is blown up by the man she gave her life to.
The clues I pick us are: "He had difficulty with one of our daughters." and "He can't leave the marital home because he has nowhere to go." This suggests that he is not leaving you for another woman. He is leaving because he is tired and cannot cope with what is going on with the daughter he is have conflict with. Perhaps you could all benefit from family counselling to help work out what is going on, and at least all be supported and helped to move forward from this separation. Marriage is difficult. We have so many problems to face in a lifetime. Just when you think the children are growing up and you and husband have time to each other and it all goes wrong. You sound as if you had no clue this was going to happen almost as if nothing was wrong in your world? Your husband may have reached his breaking point and could do with some support. A counsellor would be able to pick up on the family dynamics and help you all see what is going on. I did the counselling bit years ago and it worked excellently for me. I learnt much about myself and I related better when I came out that helped heal my family. It is possible for only one person to do the counselling. It does help you to move forward from where you are now. my husband didn't believe in counselling. He didn't understand it, and how it worked. Sadly he missed out on much healing from this type of therapy. He died 16 months ago today of cancer. He died a sad man. Carrying a secret almost to the grave. He was molested as a child and it affected his whole life. We were married 44yrs. I loved him and couldn't bear to lose our marriage. I lost him in death. But my sadness is that he never found the fulfilment he needed because of what happened to him. But he coped with this as best as he could and He was my first and last love. I miss him. I feel your pain and sadness. Perhaps you will write back and fill in some gaps that don't make sense from your thought of your husband wanting to keep the house and you living with your Mother. You made a wise decision to not leave the marital home. This is when it can all go wrong. You are angry at the moment and each day you will be more aware of what has gone wrong. I hope you can work things out mutually that will benefit all of you. I look forward to hearing from you again. Best wishes.

Sep 05, 2013
Leaving menas leaving, not staying
by: Judith in California

Elizabeth, when someone wants to let go of a relationship they don't noramlly get down on one knee. (funny) IF he wants out then make him get out. It's his problem he has no where to go, not yours. He must learn that there are consequences to his actions. Does he fully well expect to live with "Mommy" and her take care of him? You are not obligated to him in any way under the circumstance. You have two children you don't need him as a third.
It bodes the question , Does he have a girlfriend? I'll bet he does.

You're right not to put the girls in the middle. IT's between you and him.

Do not leave your mhome but show him the door with his bags. Tell him if he can't do this anymore then he's not going to stick around exist in the same house with you.

Your question to him of 'what have you done now" is very telling. He must have made some pretty bad choices all along.

HE made a choice, let him live with the results of it.

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