My husband was everything to me!

My husband passed away 83 days ago. 
I really don't see how it will ever be ok. 
He was my soul mate, my one true love and the most amazing person I have ever met. 
We truly had a once in a lifetime love that all my friends were envious of. 
I felt like life was perfect and there was no way it could get better. 
Then that horrible awful day our fears were confirmed..... Cancer. 
He fought for a year, and held on for me, as long as he could. 
I watched this beautiful man suffer for so many months, just trying to beat this disease, but it wasn't God's plan. 
I never ever pictured my life without my husband, and being a widow at 41 years old. 
I always thought I was pretty independent.... I was wrong!
Not a day goes by that I don't need him. 
Miss him. 
Want him. 
I am thankful to God for bringing Richard into my life, and will treasure every memory always!
I just wish I knew how to live my life without him. I cry more often than I don't. Everything reminds me of him. 
I've only had one dream about him, but it was the most wonderful REAL dream. I wish it could happen again. 
I really miss him more than words can express. 

Comments for My husband was everything to me!

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Nov 18, 2014
My husband was my everything to me
by: shannon

When I read this, I thought I was reading something someone wrote about me and my husband. I can relate to EVERY word you said.. I am praying for you because I KNOW the feelings you described. My husband was my best fiend of 26 years. I also wondering after 13 months how am I suppose to live without him. I thank God for him but sometimes I wander would it had been better not have a soul mate because my soul aches so bad. There was no time to say good bye. My husband left home to run a few errands and had a car accident. I miss him so much. Life?
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Sep 21, 2014
lost my husband
by: sujona

I cant express my own pain I have no language. I lost my heart,best friend...my husband.Suddenly I came to know my husband committed suicide.I dont know whats the reason behind it.15 days over but still the incident haunted me....still I am searching the reason.I cant live without him.I just pray please god help me because he is my everything.......................

Sep 19, 2014
Love gone cold inside
by: Mary

I keep asking myself what was so bad that I have done to deserve this I got married very young at 22 had our son when I was 23 and he was 6 years older than me and he died last year 7/9/2014 he for some reason called a day a said he missed our son he went to school fetched him spent the entire afternoon with him and bought all goodies for him dropped him off at my house as we were separated for four years but we were good parents to our 6 year old boy and I spoke to him on the phone he said should I die know that you were my 1 true love and in my heart you are my wife and the next thing I get a call Saturday morning that he has died from a car accident he died days before our son turned 6, I have been battling to live life again I find myself messed up inside I just pretend um really saddened by his passing and I know he wont come back again (teary)

Jun 08, 2014
My heart feels your same pain
by: Anonymous

My beloved passed from this life to be with Jesus on February 12th of this year. Fought hard against the cancer that way too quickly, took his life at the age of 53. We were high school sweethearts and married for 33 years. My days are filled with wonderful memories of the strongest, sweetest, most loving and forgiving man I ever knew. I'm also not sure what my life will consist of without him. Yes, I have days with many tears and don't know what tomorrow holds, but I do know Who holds tomorrow. It has helped me to read from other hurting hearts of women who are also grieving with the loss of their most cherished one. We will all persevere...if we so choose but not without a God who can bring much peace to your our very souls. Blessings.

May 31, 2014
I don't want to live without him
by: Anonymous

My sweet husband, my soul mate, my everything, passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly on April 10, 2014-- just three days after his fortieth birthday-- leaving me and our three children devastated. It's been seven weeks now, and it doesn't get any better-- it just gets worse. He took everything of me with him-- all my love, my hope, my joy, my future. I have nothing left-- my heart is ashes in a jar. I'm only still breathing because I don't know how to stop. If it weren't for the fact that I have children to care for, I would have followed him already-- but I'm told over and over how I have to "be strong for my children." No one seems to understand that I DIED THAT DAY TOO.

Apr 23, 2014
My blue eyed man...my everything
by: Anonymous

I lost my beautiful husband on March 15th, 2014. We had been married for 38 yrs. He was my soul mate and my comfort. He fought hard but he just had too many health problems. He was hospitalized for two months, some of the time in a nursing home. He was suspected of having cancer but, would not get the tests done or tell me. He started losing weight about 8 months before his first wound sores on his legs. He went for 6 months going to wound care and it finally resulted in him falling in the bathroom. He could not get up and complained of his breathing and no strength at all. We found out he went into septic shock and it completely devastated his body. He told me after two months he wanted to "just go" and no more tubes, needles and painful debreeding of his gangrene wounds. He knew there was no recovering from this. I signed the Hospice papers and he was gone in a few days. He was my life and now he is gone. My life is over too and I died on March 15, 2014. I never thought he would leave this earth without me. I just wish I could have traded places with him. I miss him so very much and my love is so deep for him. I don't think it will ever get better.

Jan 21, 2014
My husband was my world
by: Anonymous

I lost my husband, soul mate, best friend 4 months ago After only been diagnosed with cancer 4 weeks earlier. I am so lost without him. Some days I just want to give up because the pain is unbearable but I have 2 children and I could never do that to them. I feel like I am on auto pilot not feeling anything. No one can really understand our pain unless they have also lost the love of their life.

Jan 15, 2014
Heartbroken for Us
by: Anonymous

I read your post and it was like I had written it. I, too; lost my own Richard. My own soulmate. My own reason for living, although it has been 63 days for me. I cannot imagine a future without him. He was the only person on the planet like me and he loved me unconditionally. The intensity of the pain I feel is so immense, I often think I will go insane or die from grief and not caring for my health or well-being. I feel for you so much.

Dec 19, 2013
lost my husband
by: Anonymous

Lost my husband july 24 a young girl killed him he was on his way to work on his motorcycle married 25 years 4 childen and I will never see him again , my heart is broken along with my spirit. Maby one day I will smile

Jan 13, 2013
life six weeks after his death
by: Anonymous

Its been 6 weeks people stopped coming round picked up his ashes last week 2 days before my 46 birthday found card he had bought for me cryed more seem to spend most of my days doing this. Appointment with tax office this week as they want to know about his and my Tax year. Appointment with solicitor to see if i have to get a mortgage 4, 25 years to pay his kids there share of the house, although we only ever saw them once a year, Went from being well off to living on 71pound a week, my life is **** an dont know if it will get any better for a long time miss him so very much, why did i love him so very much , i never would of if i knew it would hurt so much when hes gone.feel so lost and alone without him

Dec 12, 2012
missing
by: sad

My husband died on the 1st December 2012 he was nearly 30 years older than me , but we were very happy together and only had each other. He was my strength, we lived for each other and he wasn't like anyone iv ever met and ever will, at 45 I feel so lost i cry lots, more than i ever have, Christmas is coming and i feel like im in the way of family my children from my first partnership don't want to be with me at Christmas as they want my grandchildren to be happy which i understand my husband and i were so close they did take a back seat . How do you stop the hurting that i feel everyday , find it hard to fill my days and everywhere i go reminds me of our life together simple things like going for coffee or lunch out i cant seem to do i feel so lost

May 23, 2012
My soulmate
by: Liz

When I read your story, I felt I was reading my own. Except my husband had a seizure and a month later he had brain surgery to remove a tumor they found. He passed away 10 days later due to they couldn't stop his brain from bleeding. He hung on for me and was so strong for the both of us. This happen a month and half ago. My heart hurts in such a way, I can't explain it to anyone. When I read your story I know that you know what I am going through. I always thought I was strong and independent but I feel like I'm in a dark tunnel and I can't see the light right now. I miss him, I want him. I want him to come to me in a dream and tell me he's OK and he in a beautiful place now. Yesterday would of been our 19 year anniversity and It was a very difficult day for me. Thank you for sharing your story.

Apr 16, 2012
I lost my husband to cancer at Christmas
by: Liane

My husband was in remission from Lymphoma when it came roaring back last summer. He started chemo when he only had a few days to live and had many complications. He fought so hard because I know he didn't want to leave us. I still have nightmares about what he went through but I can't change a single thing. I miss him so much and I feel that half of me is gone. We were married for 47 years. He was the love of my life. We had so many plans and now I have to go on without him. He was the one that would love and console me and now that I need him the most, he is gone. I thank God for a wonderful son and daughter that have been very good to me and I know that I must find the strength to go on for them.
I am 64 now and never really expected to be a widow... my husband always seemed so strong and looked so young until cancer took its toll.
I can't imagine living the rest of my life without him so I try to think of one day at a time. The pain of losing a soulmate is overwhelming. It helps to know that I am not alone. Hugs to you all, Liane

Apr 11, 2012
my husband died 48 days ago from cancer
by: june

i understand what you all are going through. i adored my spouse, was never alone without him and now i feel so lost and alone. i wonder if i will ever be ok again. the days are very lonely and very sad and i don't have any friends or family. most of the times i wish he was here and normal, but that will never happen. i am 63 and still pretty and young looking but feel i will never have an opportunity to have that kind of love again, and that's even sadder. i feel like im a living dead person. its not like i don't get opportunity to do things. i have been to bible study, saw west side story, went down the shore and celebrated my husband's 60th birthday and brought his family. i was a happy woman and now its really hard to enjoy anything. i stick around for my dog. he is a yorkie and he is very sweet. i hope one day the pain won't be as bad. the pastor told me to read psalm 91 and it seems to help. i think the worst part is that i am always scared. thanks all for listening

Apr 05, 2012
You two are in my thoughts and prayers
by: Anonymous

I married my high school sweetheart(only love ever) after graduation in 1992. We had a son born in 1995 then another in 1996. We were truly blessed with these two boys. Chuck was the happiest man I had ever been around... We have had so many wonderful times and memories together.... Chuck was a very hard worker and worked all the time to provide for us and just because he loved to work! Saturday, December 15, 2007; Chuck was on his way to work and I was talking to him on the phone, he crashed due to flooding roads. I never thought that just a few minutes would seem like hours before before sheriffs office would call and tell me what hospital he was being took to.... I had already got boys up to ride to hospital with me... I told them their daddy was hurt but we didnt know how bad. He pasted away before they got him to hospital. I can't tell you two what all my feelings are and have been these past 5 years without him. I wanted to die but I knew I couldnt leave our two boys without any parents to raise them. It has been very hard but with Gods love and guidance we have made it 5 years almost. The boys are at the age now that want to learn the kind of work their daddy did... and I have nobody to show them how... Their daddy was the best welder & diesel mechanic ever he went to nationals and placed 2 when he was in school. This breaks my heart when I can't show or help them. Love to you both and Hugs. Audrey

Apr 04, 2012
Life Without Him....
by: Anonymous

I know exactly how you feel. My husband (gone now for 16 months) fought so hard to stay here with us. He knew how it would be for us all without him. We miss him so much. He was right. It's been hard~next to impossible some days.
I love him because he fought so hard but sometimes I feel bad because he suffered so. He was on a list for cardiac transplant. We had 25 emergency room trips in the last year. I knew all the nurses by name. I am a nurse and assisted them many times. I knew the drill.
One thing that can never be taken from us is the love. We will keep that forever, until we join them.
I hope you will find some joy today. We have to find it in the little things. Our husbands are physically gone but not spiritually. I try to live my life to make my husband proud.
Hugs and blessings to you. This is a wonderful site to come and vent your feelings. Nobody judges. We are all grieving.

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