my Irish

by Dawn
(WI)

Its been 16 months.I started on this site about 3 months.Lots has happened and nothing has happened, know what I mean. High praise for this site. I havent been here for a while, that doesnt mean I have been o.k.. I remember lots of feedback about GOD at first and honestly it only made me mad..Now I have moved past that phase and found alot of strength and peace from GOD above,my church, my new family. Everything is upside down and backwords still,just not Everday. I do have a question. Does anybody dream the same negative dreams about your lost spouse? Same subject: we are together but we are splitting up and there are others in his life?? Its rediculous in real life. He never cheated and I have no reason to think he did but the dream plays on and on. Satan trying to make it real? yes you bet, but I am tired of it. Does anyone have dreams that dont make sense and wont go away?? Please reply. I have a therapist,friends and my church and dont know what to. Please stay connected to this site it has helped me alot. In closing, who wants to be in a widow club,not me but I am glad I found this one

Comments for my Irish

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 03, 2013
My Irish
by: Doreen U.K.

Dawn thank you for your lovely comments. It gives me great pleasure to support others, as best as I can. I have no special qualifications. I use my life experiences to support others. Which does mean I expose myself a lot. But this is O.K. the Good Lord said. "Go and comfort others with the comfort that you have received from me. So I guess it is God himself who gives everyone the comfort through me and my life's experiences.
Please forgive yourself of any hurt your husband couldn't understand or blame you for. This is the cancer. Cancer changes a person's personality and causes them to think and behave in ways that work against us as caregivers. My husband was a placid humble man. He didn't want to die in a hospice. The doctor and nurse came to our home to persuade my husband to go into hospice care as it was the best place for him. I fought his corner and give him what his wishes were to die at home. My Steve became angry with me at times. his cancer caused him changes that I had to overlook. I think even when we make decisions and if they turn out to be the wrong one's we have no way of knowing this. Often making decisions on the spur of the moment can be difficult. We don't always have the time to process this and so we have to be content with those decisions whether right or wrong. It was still a decision. This will be a very long and hard road. But by nurturing yourself you will be healing from your loss. I had a sad grief day yesterday. Didn't expect it. It came. It went. Today is a new day and I feel a little stronger from my grief of yesterday. This is what happens. Each time we cry and express emotions it heals us. so let it come. It doesn't last. It goes until the next time. Living without our mate is not easy. I value my FREEDOM now to make decisions that is right for me and I embrace what I had. Lost. and have now. Because when life is over. I will be re-united with my beloved husband FOREVER. I miss him very much. My very Best wishes. Doreen

Sep 02, 2013
My Irish
by: Dawn

Dear Doreen, First I would like to thank you for myself but also for all the help you give others. I have seen you name over and over and you are special to all of us. My husband died of liver cancer and we were told at the start that there was no cure, just buying time with treatments. Like you I held out for a miracle. 2 years and 3 months he lived past the news but I steal feel cheated. He got sicker and sicker slowly, then got sick fast and then gone.
I took on the role of nurse and not so much wife and I regret that. I told him he would stay home until the end, but he kept falling and I had to have him in hospice the last two days of his life. When he was told he had to go there, and not by me, his hospice nurse told him,I could have killed her, but now I forgive her, he didnt talk to me anymore. I helped him eat his last meal on Weds. he went to sleep. Thurs he only argued with me because he couldnt understand why he couldnt get up to go to the bathroom. Went to coma-sleep and died on Fri at 5:30 P.M. I dont blame myself for having him in hospice, but I think he blamed me...He knew going there meant he was gonna die. He was in a river called the deNile(haha) right till the end and if that worked for him then so be it....I miss him so much. This was just gonna be a letter of thanks and see what your gift does..Thank you Dawn

Sep 02, 2013
My Irish
by: Dawn

Dear Silver,First, thanks for your thoughts. I have asked everyone and you hit it right on. Thank you so much. The religious side of me knows its satan. I have become strong in my faith. But the human side of me couldnt grasp why. So I like the thought of seperation an. We had 26 years(half my life)of a wonderful friendship, LOVE like no other, raised 5 kids,2 of mine and 3 of his.
I have a hard time thinking of good memories when I dream this night after night. It has been 3 days without a bad dream!!!!!!! I went a few months and they started again. Today I am going to remember something good, I know I am. Thank you again. I wish you peace,health and happiness.Dawn

Aug 30, 2013
my Irish
by: silver

I'm no therapist.I know I'm not qualified to diagnose.I don't interpret dreams for people.That being said,maybe you are feeling separation anxiety and that is coming out when you dream.That would be considered perfectly normal.After all you are separated from the one you love.I know I feel lost often.You,like a lot of us,don't have your love beside you anymore.I felt so devastated when my husband died.He wasn't there when I went to bed.He wasn't there when I woke up.He was gone.It took awhile for me to accept that he wasn't coming back.It does get better though.It has been 2 yrs for me.I don't cry everyday or as hard as I used to.Try thinking about a wonderful memory before sleep.Play it out in detail in your mind.Smile.Think of his words,the look on his face,everything.I don't know if this will help but who knows? GOD send you strength and peace.I keep us all in my prayers.

Aug 29, 2013
My Irish
by: Doreen U.K.

Dawn I was angry with God when my husband died of cancer 15 months ago because I believed in miracles and was sure my husband would be healed. Despite the fact I know God all my life. So Yes this is part of grief and God really understands. I am happy you have now found Strength and Comfort in God and the Church. Remember we are just passing through this life. Our eternal home is to come. This Hope keeps us going.
Regarding dreams. I have them all the time. First comfort was seeing white feathers all over the place all the time. Next was my husband's computer which we both used went AWOL. My niece (husband's sister's daughter) had a dream that my husband (her uncle) came to her in a dream. She said Uncle the computer is all haywire. Steve was supposed to have said YES! I KNOW. My niece said she would ask me for the password in the morning so she could access the computer and try and fix the problems. My Steve said. Don't worry. "I will give you the password now." He did and it was accurate. She did get into the computer. But it is unfixable. Then our home telephone number rang and Steve's name came up. ODD. Don't know how this can happen. I have dreams all the time and in my dreams my husband is always alive. If you are having dreams that are negative and you feel there is no substance in them. Ignore them. Satan is out to cloud our minds and put negative thoughts in our mind when we are vulnerable. Best you can do is Pray often and build up a relationship with Jesus who is our source of Comfort and strength as we go through our grief journey. The church can also be a great source of support. I hope that you won't be troubled further by your dreams and that positive dreams will come in and continue to strengthen you.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Spouse/ True Love.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • XML RSS
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget
->


 POPULAR
  RESOURCES


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the

GRIEF CLUB


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief
Program

Free Griefwork
E-Course

Free Stress
Management
E-Course



SBI Video Tour!