by Hazel

I don't really know what to say. My brother is gone. I can't really wrap my head around it. He was 52, and struggling with the death of my parents and his own unhappiness in life. I feel like we all watched him slowly disappear. What should have been a wake up call was the end. I don't know what to do, how to feel I am sick over this. I miss him terribly and understand that he will never come back but I just can't deal. I have a husband, two beautiful kids and still I am suffering terribly. I feel like no one understands. There are three of us he was the oldest I am the youngest. He was my brother, father, hero, fan rock ..

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Oct 04, 2012
My prayers for Hazel
by: Linn

Hazel, How well I know the pain and sadness of losing a big brother. My brother past away two years ago. He was such a loving and caring person and one that I could share my troubles with and he would always make me feel like he understood and that I would pull through what ever I was going through.There is not a day that goes by that I don't have some beautiful or funny memory of him. He made me laugh and brought such a joy to my life. My brother use to joke about the time that he was working for the phone company and I called him during a snow storm and wanted him to bring me a candy bar. He bought me my first car and helped me and my sister to pay for our first apartment. So many beautiful memories I have of him. I had a very hard time the first year after he died and felt like no one really understood what I was going through. My big brother was there with me when my mother died, He encouraged me and was my biggest fan when things would go wrong in my life. There are no words to describe the emptyness that I faced. I also at the time was working at a very demanding job and I really felt that everyone just expected me to bounce back and go right on as though nothing happened. I had also lost my nephew a short time before that and was still dealing with that loss when my brother died. I was just in complete shock and I wanted it so very much not to be true. My world fell apart and I just went into a deep depression that seemed to never go away. The initial shock is the hardest and then the realization that the person that you loved so much will never be back. There are also times that it just goes back and forth and you never know each day how you are going to deal with it. If it is any comfort to you Hazel I would like to say that it will in time grow less painful, but the timeit takes is different for each one of us. I do know that we have to have time to grieve and share memories of the one we lost, so I hope that you are able to do that. Crying helped me and seemed to let the deep pain out, so I cried when ever I was alone. I had people tell me that I should go on antidepressants, and that was just a few months after my brother died. I did not go on antidepressants and I am glad because I needed to experience the normal griving process. I am not saying that others should not go on antidepressants and they alone can make that decision. I pray that your pain will grow less each day and that one day, you will just be left with the beautiful memories of your brother and the special bond the two of you shared. Grive when you must Hazel and never let anyone tell you that it is time you were getting over it. You will know when the time is right to be moving forward. I believe that taking care of your family will help you to move forward, but right now you have to grieve, so I hope that you have help from your husband and that he can help with the care of the little ones. You will smile again Hazel, if you just hang on to hope.

Oct 04, 2012
by: Doreen U.K.

Hazel I am sorry for your loss of your brother. It doesn't matter if you have a husband and 2 children you will still feel the grief for your loss. Perhaps some people think because we have someone to take care of and children we should be so lucky and grieve and go on. This is not true. You should take all the time you need to process your loss and feel the sorrow. When we start to lose members of our family we don't think that we would lose others so soon after. Death makes us vulnerable to loss of others close to us. I don't think we will ever get used to losing members of our family. It alters the very atmosphere of the air we breathe. I feel like I have entered a new world and everything is strange and different and I don't like being here. I want the old world with all the familiar things. Nothing altered. Everything in its right place as it should be, carrying on doing all the same normal things, visiting and shopping in the same places. Meeting the same people.
Exchanging conversation. Feeling comfortable with life. Death takes this all away.

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