My Jonathan

by Tresa

I lost my fiance june 25th 2011 in a car accident. just 2 months before our little boy was born. He was so excited and had so many plans for him. A life that we had planned together is not only mine. I live with so much regret we got into an argument an hr before he passed because i would not stay at the house with him i was going to meet my family to go through my grandmothers things who had passed 2 years before. something that was very weird for him to get upset about. So the last thing i said to him was whatever and then on top of it the reason he was driving is cuz i asked to come get me. I had a feeling to turn around as we watched each other till we were out of sight but i ignored it, i think every day how i should have stayed or not asked him to go how i should have fixed things before i left, instead of thinking i would figure out what was going on when i got home. I cant even except he is gone we had been freinds for half of our lives and he'd become my life and now to have him gone is killing me i dont know what to do!!

Comments for My Jonathan

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Nov 04, 2012
thank you
by: Anonymous

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter..having a party of them helps but hurts..I don't blame myself so much any more but I still hasn't fully excepted the fact he is gone there are times I forget..I still freak out and find myself unable to breath..trying so hard to find a balance but I miss and love him so much that its hard to function with suck a huge part missing.. But till I see him again I'm keeping a hold of things till that day for the kids..

Nov 04, 2012
I am very sorry
by: Anonymous

Its been almost a year and a half now since I lost Jonathan our baby is now 14 months and so much like his dad everything jon had wanted..I'm still very much alone and still brake down quite a bit I don't blame myself as much I've excepted I can't change it but I forget he is gone some times idk how it is that I still do ..I hope all is well with you and your baby boy

Feb 18, 2012
You can not blame yourself
by: Steffy

My husband was killed Jan 16 2012 its barley been a month. I am also pregnant, Our baby is due next month in March .

I blame myself everyday for what happened to him, What if I would have stayed with him instead of going to be what if I would have known where he was. But the reality is I can not change what happened.

Its tourmenting because Him and I had a whole life ahead of us, we had just gotten married April 16 2011 and bought our first house.

He was 21 Years old ( I am 20)
and now I am alone.

This is the hardest thing I have ever experienced, I feel like I died with him but I am expecting his baby, His little boy- This is what will keep my Cody alive

Oct 30, 2011
by: VJ

Tresa, I am so very sorry for your loss. I think that we all do the what if's, could haves, should haves..I can understand why you feel the way you do but it wasn't your fault. We all do and say things to those we love because we just assume there will be time to repair the damage or make amends. There is No way you could have anticipated what happened that day. I always try and tell my girls and friends and family "I love them" when I hang up the phone, or leave out the door..but that doesn't always happen. Life does though and what happened was an accident. I hope that you will find brighter days with time. Your pain is still fairly new and you have this new little gift from God. I can only imagine that your emotions are like a roller coaster. Pregnancy alone can throw our hormones into a whirlwind. I imagine he would want you to find happiness and peace, so that you will be able to be the mother to your child that he would want you to be. I lost my daughter but she left behind a little girl. I see so much of her mom in her and I am sure you will see your fiance in your little one. Just take it day by day. Your in my prayers.

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