My life is so empty without my beautiful Mother

by Karen

My mother lost her two year battle with cancer on May 3rd, 2010. Unfortunately I missed saying goodbye to her by a matter of hours. I did speak to her (well I did the speaking), as she was unable to speak, I told her her I loved her more than anything else in this world and I would be there (at hospital), next morning. I had an 8 hour road trip ahead of me to get to where she was. I got a phone call from my sister 4am next morning, telling me Mum lost her battle about 2.30 am. I was and still am so gutted that I never got to hold her one more time and hold her whilst she passed on. My Mother was so scared of dying and did everything she could to fight her battle, this is what makes it harder for me as I know how frightened she was. I was always the strong one while Mum went through her battle as Mum was divorced and lived alone. I had to hide my own feelings from her as any sign of upset gave her insecurity. That strength stayed with me through organising Mum's funeral but after that I fell to pieces. My husband thinks I should be able to deal with it but I am still struggling most of the time. I hope to hear from anyone who is also suffering. Karen

Comments for My life is so empty without my beautiful Mother

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Jul 07, 2012
I hope this is of some comfort
by: Jill

Dear Karen,
I lost my beautiful mum recently so I can truly empathise with your heartache.
As a disabled person I know that you cannot always get to your loved ones (or them to you) when the time is critical. So pleased stop torturing yourself.
You say you were the strong one. This must have given your mum so much comfort knowing you understood her fears. I am sure she reflected on the strengh you gave her.
My mum had a lot of pain towards the end but I try and remember her laughter and beautiful singing voice. It is really difficult but I am hoping for both of us it will get easier.
With my love and prayers, Jill.

Jul 04, 2012
My life is so empty without my mother
by: Doreen U.K.

Karen I am sorry for the loss of your mother to cancer. I lost my husband almost 8 weeks ago to lung cancer. I was his caregiver for 3yrs.39days a slow painful death by asbestos cancer. My husband Steve was scared of dying. this hurt me. I had to look into his sad face. A broken man who didn't want to die. He wanted to live. He had retired and did not get to enjoy the end of his working life. Steve was ill throughout his whole time with cancer. He had no quality of life. We were married 44years. Don't let anyone tell you that you should get over your mother's death. This is so cruel. It isn't true either. You will never get over the death of your mother. You will just get used to living with it in time and it won't hurt so much. You grieve one day at a time. If you get stuck in grief and can't move forward. You try to fine a bereavement counsellor who will help you work through your loss till you are able to cope better. Don't share your feelings with insensitive people no matter how well meaning they are. Grief takes time. It is very painfull. You will feel a lot of pain because you missed seeing your mother before her death and you couldn't say good-bye or say the things you wanted to say. I lost my mother 9 years ago in 2003. We had 1hr. travel by car. We got to the hospital too late. I broke my heart. My grief was so painfull. I was angry with my sister. She could have taken me down to see my mother 3 days before when she went down. She kept my mother all to herself. my sister was very cruel to me in life. But since my husband died she has been my greatest support. I would not have coped without this support. She still does some things to irritate me but I just overlook this. It is just the way she is. Life is lonely, empty, and hard. Every day will be a long day. I don't feel like doing anything. I have to make a life for myself and I have lost my motivation. I just do what I have to and this is all. I was fortunate to have my sister fly over from Queensland Australia for the funeral and she supported me well. I miss her now she has gone back to OZ but we talk on Skype. I hope the days ahead get easier for all of us grieving a loss.

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