My life was altered forever the day my mother took her own life.

30 years has passed.I just can't seem
To go forward. My mother took her own life dec
28th 1982 her name was Penny born may
30 1942. I miss her everyday I really wish I
Could talk to her freind Suzy. Suzy was the
Last person she talked too. I have never been
Able to really continue with my life and
Hold a job. I have never gotten over her
Committing suicide. All I want is to see her
Again. I feel like this was my fault. So sad.
I love you MOM forever your daughter,
Kitty Heller

Comments for My life was altered forever the day my mother took her own life.

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Aug 01, 2012
My life was altered forever the day my mother took her own life.
by: Doreen U.K.

Kitty I am sorry you lost your mother to suicide.
It has been 30years ago and you say that you still can't move forward or hold a job.
You should now consider belated bereavement counselling. It will be harder and more work because you left it so long. But worth the effort. You need to get this support for yourself since the death of your mother was by suicide. I have said often in posts that suicide deaths cause a different type of grief and does need the aid of a grief counsellor. It sounds as if you have been stuck in grief for 30years and stopped living because you blame yourself for your mother's death. You owe it to yourself to resolve this guilt and blame to yourself. You need to live with FREEDOM and enjoy a better quality of life. My nephew threw himself in front of an express train 5 years ago at the age of 30yrs. My sister blamed herself. She had to have a grief counsellor come to her home and support her. It was the worst pain ever. If you do go to grief counselling. Be prepared that postponed grief will be very painfull. But if you stick with it. You will be rewarded in the end. You will be a happier person. It is a very cleansing experience. FOR ME. Counselling gave me back my life. I reclaimed this and was able to do my best for my dying husband. I was motivated and in a happier place to love him and make his last days comfortable. Also if we are responsible for not doing the right thing when we could have done so. We will have to learn to FORGIVE OURSELVES for being human enough to not know all the answers or for the mistakes we made.
You have punished yourself far too long. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! YOU DESERVE A HAPPIER LIFE filled with caring and LOVING PEOPLE around you. Give yourself permission to have this. I wish you all the best in life.

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