My little brother Hayden Caleb St. John

by Madison

Life was just perfect. My family was a healthy happy group of people. Living the American dream. I have the most wonderful parents so full of life and love. The cutest little brother (I swear every older sisters claim they have the cutest little brother) with the cutest personality to go along with it. We were the average middle class American family. Everything was just the way it was suppose to be. I just started college, my little brother just started the 4th grade and turned 9 years old. Life was pretty sweet. Until that one day that turned everything upside down. My little brother was in his tree house and I was in the back yard doing some homework watching him for the afternoon since my parents were at work. I called my little brother down from his tree house to give him a snack. He comes to the exit of his tree house and smiles at me, I will never forget that smile. He start to come down but he slips and falls. He landed on a wooden lawn chair that was at the base of his tree house, stomach first. I run over to him, he lays there crying couple minutes later he stops crying. I check his arms, legs, back, head, face and his stomach for any injuries. But he said he was fine but I could tell he was still in some pain. I didn't think too much of it, I saw no visible injuries so I thought he would be okay after a couple of hours. I was so wrong. A couple hours later my little brother is on the couch laying on his back with his arms around his stomach and his knee's to his chest rocking back and forth in pain and crying at the sametime. I call my parents and they told me to wait until they got home. About 5 hours later my brother start to vomit blood, so I called the paramedics and my parents. I met my parents at the hospital and when they got there I explained to them what was going on. Hayden was in surgery. The doctors came out and explained that my little brother had suffered severe abdominal injuries. His spleen was ruptured, his colon was pushed into his stomach and his pancreas was damaged as well. I remember looking my little brother after the operation he was just so innocent and so lifeless, I remember seeing stiches from his chest area all the way down to his belly button. I was thinking he was going to be alright. I did not know the doctors told my parents Hayden had a 30% chance of survival. The next day my little brother goes into a coma and several days later he was gone just like that. I was in so much pain. I blamed myself and my parents. I was angry with God, just angry with everyone. My parents did not talk much after Hayden's death. About 9 months since Hayden's death I visited my parents who I have not seen in about 4 months. And we just talked. It was really awkward my parents and I havent talked like this in a long while. I remember asking my parents with tears in my eyes if they blamed me. My mom jumps up and starts to cry and just holds me. I remember just letting everything go, I just held onto my mom and just started to cry and cry. My dad standing next us had tears rolling down his face, I knew he wanted to let go too but he had to be strong for all of us. I miss my little brothers smile, hugs, kisses, his sweet sweet personality, just so humble and innocent. I learned to just live in memories, I still cry when I think about him at times but now I mostly smile when I think of him, I just remember the fun times I had with him, keep replaying his laughters, his smiles, his hugs, and just him. I love and miss my little brother greatly but I will always have memories to remind me how lucky I was to have Hayden. Rest In Paradise Hayden Caleb St. John..oh and happy 14th birthday little brother!

Comments for My little brother Hayden Caleb St. John

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Jan 02, 2012
I am so sorry
by: Terica

My father died in his sleep almost two months ago and I have three older brothers and lots of family that now we have gotten a lot closer. I don't know what I would have done if we didn't! I know that feeling of missing somebody so much, it can drive you insane but having that comfort of family can help you heal!! I just wanted to say that and I hope things get better!

Dec 27, 2011
Sorry for your pain
by: Carol, Seans Mom

Hello Madison. I am so sorry for your pain. I too,like you felt like a very lucky person. I am not a sibling but a mom suffering grief. I felt lucky every single day because I had three healthy beautiful children. Then one day in November my healthy 24 year old son did not wake up. Life turned upside down. I feel so sad and full of pain now. I just want you to know you are not alone and my thoughts go to you and your parents.Send them my thoughts too. Stay strong for each other

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