My little brother Terry

My little brother lived with me and my husband and two girls,
We were extremely close, he made me laugh and we often acted silly together.

I went on holiday a few weeks ago, and he looked after the dogs and the house, he was happy and things were looking bright for him.

The first week of my holiday had gone by, I had emailed my brother to see how everything was going back home, he had replied, everything was good, I emailed again, and I heard nothing and I didn't think anything of it. A few days later I had a call on holiday and was to my brother had passed away, it was the worst news I had ever heard, I was a complete mess and I cannot describe the pain inside. I still checked the email everyday, hoping he would send one back.

He was found at my house, in the hall way, I'm not sure how long he had been there,it was just the worst thing to come home to, I am truly devastated and everyday is so hard to go on, I miss him so so much. The worst thing is we are still awaiting the cause of death and it is agonizing. Although he had a huge turn out at the funeral because he was such a great person, I just want him back.

I can't sleep at night, i just lay crying and sobbing, all I can think of is him lying downstairs all alone, maybe in pain or suffering, I just don't know what happened,

He had type 1 diabetes, and struggled to lead a happy life with this illness, maybe this was the reason, I will just have to wait to find out. My pain is agonizing.

Comments for My little brother Terry

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Nov 28, 2012
Reply to your kind words
by: Anonymous

Thank you so much for your kind words, I too hope that in time your pain feels less, we will never forget our loved ones, but I'm sure the pain will ease, at the moment it's just so raw and I feel like it is a dream

Nov 28, 2012
My little brother Terry
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for your loss of your young brother Terry. It is one of the worst pains to lose a young member of your family so suddenly. You will still be in shock for some time. It has been 6 months for me losing my husband to cancer and I just can't imagine him gone now forever.
I keep thinking he is coming home from one of his overseas jobs. After you lose someone in death disbelief sets in and it is as if you are searching for him to come home.
Because your brother died so suddenly it will be that much more painful. Without any answers as to the cause of death will make you feel as if you are in Limbo. It is the waiting time that is hard. I can't imagine how difficult it is for you waiting. I had to wait 2 weeks to find out if I had cancer and the wait was so stressfull I was in a state of high anxiety.
Lying awake at night and crying are all symptoms of raw grief. Everyone of us goes through this stage and it feels as if it will last forever.
We can only go on one day at at time. If you feel you can't cope with the pain of grief, you can go and see a greif counsellor who will support you through the pain so it doesn't feel so strong. Counsellors are amazing people who use skills to support in a way that makes us feel better.
It will take a long time for each of us to eventually heal from our grief to the point we can go on with our lives. Life feels empty and lost without our loved ones with us to continue our journey of life with.
I hope that you are supported and comforted till you can find peace through your grief.

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