my little girl
by Kelly B
Two and a half years ago I gave birth to a little girl. She was beautiful. She was 15 weeks premature. Bit she was a fighter. She lived for a month before a bacterial infection took her away from me. I have never dealt with it. I cant even look at her stuff. She didn't have much seeing as she came before her baby shower. She was my angel I love her so much. And they also told me could not have another. So I was resigned. I am now 5 and a half months pregnant. My husband is very excited. Its a boy. I feel horrible but I don't want him. I want my little girl. I feel like I am betraying her. I feel like a terrible person. I feel like I wont be able to love my boy. Am I a bad person? Should I do something about this? I'm so lost and confused. I don't know what to do. Sorry I really needed to get this off my chest.