My little NICU soldier♡

by Vanessa
(Los Angeles)

My sister and I are very close, she's married and had one girl who is three years old. Last year she was pregnant at almost seven months, she called me one early morning asking me how does it feel when your water breaks since she hadn't experienced it because she was induced with my niece but I obviously didn't know because I've never been pregnant before so I asked my mom and she told her to go to the clinic so she went alone because she lives two hours away and her husband stayed home watching my niece and from the clinic they sent her to the hospital because her water had broke and she was barely turning seven months, so they kept putting medicine so the baby could stay in because they thought his lungs weren't well developed and about three days later she began to get contractions so she went into labor and she called my mom crying and scared that her baby wasn't breathing and they didn't even let my sister touch or see him, they took my nephew straight to the NICU it took the doctors and nurses about 15 minutes to make him breathe which caused brain damage, he only weight 2 pounds, he was tiny, he had a tube in his mouth to breathe and a tiny one in his nose to eat he suffered so much the machines were literally forcing him to stay alive they took out so much blood to do tests and this went on for a month he never got better, he didn't breathe on his own, so the doctors didn't know what to do anymore and they recommended to disconnect him from the machines because he was suffering soooo much and my family is Catholic and we talked to priests to see what they would recommend and they all recommended to disconnect him because if God really wanted him to live he wouldn't need all those machines so on September 18, 2012 around 9am they disconnected him and he took the biggest sigh, like if he had been waiting for them to finally let him go from all those machines and he passed away about two hours later. Its been soooo very difficult for me because I wasn't there when he was born nor when he passed away. My mother didn't want me there because she thought I wouldn't resist the pain to watch him die its going to be a year next week and I haven't gotten over it one bit. I've always wanted a nephew and my only one passed away but I know he fought for his life, he was a little soldier just like his dad. I love you so much my little man, Alejandro♡

Comments for My little NICU soldier♡

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 09, 2013
My little NICU soldier
by: Doreen U.K.

Vanessa I am sorry for your loss of your nephew. You won't get over your loss of your nephew soon. Grief takes time and a lot of energy to cope with a loss. But look at each day one day at a time and when you look back you will see that you are moving forward even if this be very slow. I lost my husband 15 months ago to cancer and I still feel bruised and broken by his death. But I have moved forward and I am getting stronger each day. There is not a day goes by I don't have some thought or dream about him. Often the mind splits in a way to help us cope with our loss as often the pain is too much to bear and we feel we can't cope with our loss. But one thing to know is that life does get better in time. It is TIME that we fight with because when it takes too long we wonder what is happening to us. There is no time limit on grief. One day you will have a nephew and perhaps a niece. We don't know why babies come too early or with complications that limit their life. I almost lost my daughter at 3 months. God saved her and she is now 42yrs. and would have been a loss to the world had she died. She is a beautiful daughter in every way. I do wish my husband had lived. But I don't know why God allows some to live and many to die. I don't think too hard about this otherwise I would argue my Faith away. I try to accept things for the best.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Baby/Child.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!