My Losses

by Jennifer Davies

Okay so I'm a 14 year old girl and on December 8th, 2011 my dad died. He died of a drug overdose in hospital and he told me just before he died that he absolutely hated me and I ruined his life. Despite his hatrid towwards me, I still miss him like crazy. Then, on January 28th, 2012 my cousin George commited suicide by hanging himself. He didn't tell anyone why and I was so shocked by this because we were so close! We'd tell each other everything! Then, on February 15th, my uncles fiancee hung herself and even though she wasn't technically part of the family, we all treated her as if she was. She left a note saying she couldn't cope with the death of her Grandfather (who I didn't know) so she killed herself. Then on April 3rd, 2012, my best friend Callum killed himself. He stabbed himself and said that he hated life and that I was the only person he had! His parents were abusive and he had no family to care for him so I took care of him loads (even though he was 3 years older than me) he was my everything and I was his everything. I honestly believe that I had been there, I could've stopped him so I kind of blame myself in that respect. So anyway, 4 people who were/are really close to me have died in the space of 6months and these days I'm just waiting for another person to die- I'm almost expecting another death! It hurts so bad and has had an effect on my performance in school, I have exams this week and can't concentrate on revising because all I can think about is how they all died...

Comments for My Losses

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 09, 2012
How to cope
by: Airborne

Jennifer, you are clearly living under a heavy burden, not only of grief, but of guilt as well. I know how you feel, since my girlfriend of ten years killed herself in my apartment two and a half years ago, due largely to my neglect and the emotional distance I had created between us. I blamed myself and felt that I deserved to die. In fact, I wanted to die the day I found her, but my parents are still alive and I did not want to hurt them. How to handle the grief? I think you need to see a counselor, one who specializes in grief and who will help you with the guilt and depression that are weighing you down. Grief and missing the person is bad enough, but feeling guilty about the death can be terrible and can lead to thoughts of suicide. I know. At the age of 14, I think you cannot handle this on your own. I am much older and although I was a paratrooper in the Army, I couldn't handle my girlfriend's death on my own and was helped tremendously by a psychiatrist and a therapist. Good luck.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Multiple Losses.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!