My Lost Baby

by Jess
(West Yorkshire)

I'm 18 years old and I'm in a good steady relationship with my boyfriend, we have been together for three years. Last year I found out that I was pregnant, but it was too late. I didn't know and I didn't expect anything because we was really careful with out contraception. Until September, shortly after my boyfrien's birthday we found out that I was losing our baby. After this happened we became very distant and we didn't really know how to deal with this loss. I started to blame myself because I did everything as normal, drinking on a weekend due to not knowing that i was carrying. If i knew that I was, I wouldn't have DREAMED of doing anything to hurt my baby, nothing! My boyfriend keeps telling me that its not my fault but I really think that it is. On the 2nd of June, I would have been due, our baby would have been born. I feel like a Mother with no baby. I don't know how to deal with this still. Me and my Boyfriend are wanting to do something on the 2nd to remember our baby because they would have been born then and they would have been in my arms. I was 2 months gone when I lost our baby, I didn't even know, I feel so selfish! I just really want my baby back!

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