My Love, Freda Shelton 2/23/1945 to 6/10/2013

Freda was my love and a part on me. we had 23 wonderful years together
Everyone loved her. she was from Martinsville V.A. and I am from N.Y.C.
and at first It was hard to understand each other.
She would say things like "put It up" {put it away} or "Bridges"-{pants}
Just was a down to earth country girl.

She loved to work in her garden
and she loved birds all kinds of birds.
She loved the Dallas cowboys football team and never missed a game.

Last year, about April we found out she had rectal cancer and it had spread
we went for the radiation therapy and that made the pain worse.
We had the help of hospice at home for about two weeks. We ended up
going to Hospice house because the pain was getting worse.
She was a very brave girl, she knew she was not going to make it
and took it like a champ.Thank God she knew I was with her
when she took her last breath.

I love and miss her So,So much!

You would too if you knew her.

Comments for My Love, Freda Shelton 2/23/1945 to 6/10/2013

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May 30, 2014
Grief will eventually "ease up"
by: Doreen UK

Bob 10 months is still too early to start recovering from grief. It has been 2yrs. I lost my husband to cancer. I also just like you have these memories of the cancer. My husband died a very painful death with many complications and this is what is slowing my healing. We don't make the memories come or able to stop them coming. WE just have to let grief unfold as it does. But it is still a very debilitating journey. I am retired and doing this alone. What a way to live. It feels as if I am just existing. There is no meaning in my days despite what I do each day. Our lives have been altered by death and the healing process is so slow. It can very well take a few years for us widows/widowers to feel any healing and able to move forward from our grief. Grief will ease up one day so Hold on to this HOPE.

May 29, 2014
When will this grief ease up?
by: Bob { Florida}

It's 10 months now that my wife Freda past away
And it is hurting more and more every day.
The memories of her are so clear and having
to watch her die of cancer at hospice will stay in my mind.
I have been taking meds for anxiety, going to
grief meetings and trying to keep busy.
Good thing I'm retired because I would not
be able to handle it.

I love her so much my Babe!!
Thanks to all,

Bob.


Mar 04, 2014
Thank You Lawrence
by: Bob

Thank you for your kind words.
I know this will take time for me to
come back to earth. And yes, this is the hardest
thing I've ever done!
It just hurts so much to think about her
and she is not with me!
She was my life.

And thank you all.

Bob

Mar 03, 2014
Deepest sympathy
by: Lawrence

The contribution about your beloved Freda screamed out such love and pain.
We all know on this web site the overwhelming grief of losing someone we loved so deeply, and that you will never recover from such a devastating loss and in all honestly you never will,, but as the weeks and months pass so the pain will ease and realization that she really has gone and you are alone.
I lost a deeply cherished wife on Christmas day 2012 so suddenly; she died in the blink of an eye, one minute talking the next dying.
Thankfully I didn’t have to go through the torment of seeing her suffer from a long drawn out illness, I closed her eyes, kissed her goodbye on her deathbed as she took her last breath and thanked her for our wonderful love affair.
I know I will never recover from the shock; after all we were together for nearly seventy years, from young teenagers to aged pensioners, but I daily thank God for sharing her with me in an exquisite marriage, as you should do for your wonderful twenty three years.
You now have to find a way to ease your agony and let me tell you my life now.
The first thing is to get out of the house, don’t stay and grieve, the house will be there when you return, empty and very lonely.
I am learning to play bridge and have joined a social club where you will find people like yourself who have also lost a special person.
You are obviously computer literate so sit and write the story of your love affair, it doesn’t matter if you can’t string a sentence together, just write, its wonderful therapy and who knows you may write a best seller for the world to read.
What I am trying to emphasize is to keep your mind occupied and do things you wouldn’t have dreamed of doing before, when you were a couple.
I was standing in your shoes just over a year ago, absolutely heartbroken and truthfully didn’t want to continue living, yet here I am offering you comfort and hope, and the knowledge that you will come through it, although it must be so difficult for you to believe me at present.
Read all the contributions on this web site, they will show you are not alone and we are all suffering from losing the one person we loved more than life itself..
With deepest Sympathy
Lawrence

Mar 02, 2014
love---Freda
by: Anonymous--MI

When I read of yet another broken heart due to the loss of a spouse my heart is so sad for all of you on this site. I know your pain, all the emotions that go with loosing our beloved husbands and wives. My husband died suddenly of SCA 15 months ago and when I read your words about your dear Freda I felt your agony and grief and pray for God to help you through this time of tears and total disbelief that this is actually happening. I wish I had more words of comfort to give you but as we all know this process takes a lot of time and our energy to get through. One day at a time is all I can manage; I can't plan far ahead as I am still longing for my husband to be back with me. My brain tells me all the truth about my life now but my heart keeps pulling me back to the past and my happy life of 43 amazing years of happiness married to my dear husband. I look to God for His help; while my sad days and nights linger I know that it is God and His love that gets me through one day at a time. May you seek God for strength. My prayers are with you.

Mar 02, 2014
My Love, Freda Shelton 2/23/1945 to 6/10/2013
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your beloved wife to this devastating disease of cancer. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to a deadly cancer almost 22 months ago. He worked with asbestos and died a horrible painful death over a period of 3yrs.39days.
I used to keep birds and adore them. When my husband was dying of cancer just before he got the devastating diagnosis a white fan tailed bird came and sat on our garden gate and stayed around. He was the most stunning bird ever. I felt at that time that God sent this bird to comfort us and the news would be bad. The news was bad, but worse than we thought. My husband was diagnosed with an incurable, inoperable, incurable lung cancer. the worst day of our lives. That white bird stayed with us for the 3yrs. 39 days of my husband's cancer journey, and just over 1yr after he passed away. He comforted us for over 4yrs. He came down and fed at the bird table for over 4yrs. He sat at the bird feeder and I would talk to him and he never flew away. He has gone now and I miss him so much. I saw white feathers for months all over the place. Even falling into my kitchen from the skylight. Ton's of white feathers on the road. Just everywhere. A sign of comfort when one has lost a loved one. You also may have a sign such as this. A birds way of honouring one who loved them. Take one day at a time and this is the only way I know to help us heal and be able to move forward. May God comfort you in your grief and give you His Peace.

Mar 02, 2014
So sorry for your loss
by:

I am so sorry to hear of your Freda, your story reminded me much of my husband's journey through stage IV lung cancer, he was dx in May of 2013 and passed away this past January 9. We were married 36 years, and it seems like a blur. He always stated that we were a team and could get through anything, and we did until the dx of cancer last year.
I too, miss my mate so much, a part of me is gone, and at times it seems unbearable.
Both my husband and I were from the Midwest, and could be called "country", worked hard and did our best everyday.
I have been reading many books lately, and all talk of stages and time for grief to take it's course. I am sure you would agree that some days are somewhat easier than others, but they will never be the same. Take care of yourself as I am sure that is what Freda would want you to do.

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