my love is gone

by clarissa
(denver co)

i lost my love on 12/20 i woke up to get ready for work, and he was already dead, he was complaining of pains in his jaw, and i feel so stupid that i did not know that was a sign of a heart attack, he was 62 and m 32, yes we had a age difference, we were together 3 years and we have a baby hes 8 months now. we were so blessed to have him because we both thought that we could not have any kids. I miss him so much, I miss his smile and his everything

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Feb 27, 2012
He's With You
by: Sandra in Malverne

Clarrisa, I feel your pain. I lost my husband 3 months ago. We were married less than a year ago. There is no way for any of us to suffer this kind of loss without being changed. I pray you find the strength you need to go on. Do what you can, a moment at a time if you need. We are all rooting for you and each other.

Feb 19, 2012
by: clarissa

Well its been close to 2mos since I lost my baby, gosh I cried today I feel so lost at times, he always knew wht to do I know he loved us so! His bday is Tuesday n I want to do somethng special, o I pray n talk wit him but sometimes iits not enuff I get so sad n cry uncontrollably, sometimes I can't eat or think str8 or I hate cookin now cus he loved my cookin n now it feels so lonely at our house, yes the baby runs everywhere but hes missin!! I just wish I could spend one more day wit him to tell him I love n miss him, I want to cry now just thnkin bout him, m a mess without him

Feb 08, 2012
thank you
by: clarissa

Well its been over a month and I have had several good happy dreams of him and it makes me feel better knowin he is ok!!! I talk to him n think bout him all the time, he will always be in my heart, we have the baby and he is the sweetest gift from god and henry. . I have my oldest son too and we got each other and was able to be a part of henry life and will always remember the good funny times we had!!! I recently started goin to a psychiatrist to deal wit the negativity family can add to a already hard to deal with time, and wit henry bein my best fren I told him everything and now he is gone, I got all these feelings and thoughts goin on and missin him but still havin to b strong for my 2 boys

Jan 13, 2012
I know and am so very sorry...
by: Hope


Do not play the blame game, though we all have. Everyone here thinks that had things been different, had we done something different the outcome might be different. That we might just might have the old life that we yearn for and so desperately miss.

I am a 2 year widow warrior. I have fought the grief battle and come out on the other side. I am blessed to finally have found days of contentment when I thought grief was a never ending uphill battle.

We all need to find out our own way in the labyrinth of grief. No one really knows how to find our way to the center. Many mis turns and mis steps on the way. But eventually we all find our way. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have found strength I never knew that I had. It is so much easier to fight the battles of those we love than our own.

Don't give up and come here often. This is the only place that you can really be yourself and show your torn and broken heart without fear. Welcome and please come here and read often.
You are not alone. We are here always...

Jan 13, 2012
I understand at some level!
by: Sandra

It's not your fault. My daddy had been having heart problems too. His dr said he needed a double bypass and heart valve replacement. He died during surgery 2 days ago from complications. My heart is broken too. I have blamed myself because I pushed him to do this surgery. If we hadn't maybe he would still be alive tonight here with me. Your father was sick. It was just his time and I don't know your religious beliefs, but I believe our days are in God's hands. I know how much this hurts! I think it will get better for both of us. Reach out for help from those around you and let people in, as hard as that can be. You will see joy and peace again. I hope this has helped you.

Jan 13, 2012
by: clariss

i feel so lonely, i hate feelin this way, i miss him so much.

Jan 12, 2012
Still with you
by: Judith in California

larissa, I'm so sorry for your loss. It is a most hard journey in grief. I wish you to find peace on the other side of this journey.

You have a beautiful son to love and will see your love in him and will know he is still with you every time you see his smile.

Come here often and red of those who have gone before you and you will find comfort in knowing you are not alone.

God be with you and give you strength to move forward on this road to acceptance and peace.

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