My Love, My Husband, My Buddy

by Pam

It's been only 3 weeks since since my husband Chris left me and went to heaven. It seems like an eternity. Family left, I am alone in the house now and the grief is so overwhelming, it physically hurts.

I spent the last 8 months watching the wonderful, vibrant man I married 33 years ago, slowly deteriorate and die from metastatic melanoma. He was my best friend....We did everything together. How will I navigate thru the rest of my life without him? I am trying to take this day by day, trying to remain optimistic, it is just soooo hard. I am so scatterbrained and disjointed.

Comments for My Love, My Husband, My Buddy

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Sep 27, 2010
The Shock of a Life Time
by: Anonymous

It has been almost 4 months since my husband Clyde left. He died in our back yard of a sudden heart attack which was so unexpected. He had no health issues that we were aware of. He saw his doctor regularly.
I have gone through a roller coaster of feelings. At times I know I will survive, at other times I really do wonder.
Married for almost 28 years and together for 30 we experienced a lot of life together. We supported each other understood each other and dearly loved one another. Our 6 children were very important to us (three girls, my stepdaughters, and my 3 sons). One of the girls was estranged from her Dad for 4 years before he passed. This has causes me a great deal of pain. I want her to understand how much her father loved her.
I have discovered that I will never be the same and my friends, although very special and wonderful people just don?t understand. Having a relationship with them is just not the same. I think I need to create new friends for now.
I have read two books which have helped. One is ?Awakening From Grief? by John E. Welshons that I found particularly helpful.
I thought by now I wouldn?t have sudden outbursts of tears coming from I don?t know where, but not so. I think I have accepted my wonderful husband has gone forever, but the loneliness and pain is so great.
I wonder what my life will look like when a year has passed. Will I still be trying to cope every day? Kind of feels that way right now.
One of the hardest things to accept is that I didn?t have a chance to say I love you, or address silly disagreements we had over the years before he died.
I almost fold up thinking about the holidays coming!
This is a club I didn?t ever want to belong to, but as my husband used to say, ?tomorrow comes?.
My tomorrow will be OK that is a promise I am making to myself and to the memory of my dear husband.
God bless us all and thank you for this amazing website!

Sep 13, 2010
Losing My Love of 49 years
by: Bill Thorman

I don't know how long ago you made your posting but as of this date (9/13/2010) my darling has been gone barely a month and a half (Aug 2). We would have celebrated our 49th wedding anniversary this December. She was diagnosed with lung cancer in early June. All of us left behind seem to feel our pain in our individual ways but feeling the pain is a given for all of us. I don't like the idea of it getting worse and then better and then worse and then better, but I am coping. Family, friends and solitude all have their place for me. I will visit this site more now as I heal. It helps. Hang in there friend. You are not alone.

Aug 15, 2010
the loss of your husband
by: Mari

I am sorry to hear of your loss. I know it is terrible for you. It takes time to heal. God is with you so rely on him. I will pray for you too. The grieving process takes time. It varies with different people. Believe me I understand.
It has been almost 9 months since I lost my husband. He passed away on Nov 22 2009.

I have a lot of grandchildren and children for comfort and my church. Believe me I could not make it without God.

I can tell you that I am doing better. I took over the management of the complex here where my husband left off and stay busy, plus church activities.

Everything reminds me of him. When I would paint and decorate I remember him saying,''sweetheart, that looks beautiful.'' or ,''Sweetheart, do something with your fine flyaway hair. That must be Norwegian hair.''

I married Hispanic. We laughed and loved and now the love of my life is gone with the Lord.
I know it isn't easy. But time heals. You may always miss him but you will have memories. I thank God for our years together.

We are having a one year memorial service on Nov the 22, the anniversary, with family. It will not be easy but perhaps will help the healing process, not just for me but for my children and grandchildren. It is too bad he will not see the great granddaughter due in Dec. He adored the grandchildren. Just take a day at a time and keep yourself busy. God will always be with you.

Aug 14, 2010
I know...

I wish I had a magic Bean to make time carry you through grief. It just isn't so, Feeling disjointed and totally out of it is numbing.
Let grief take its painful path. Just know this is "normal" and what we have all gone through. Keep reading...This Site has helped me so. Going through month 8 and I wish it just would one day disappear. That isn't the way it works, its like a slow slide towards happiness. With ups and downs much like a rollercoaster.
Fasten your seatbelt, its going to be a bumpy ride. HH

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