My Love My Life My Johnny

by Kelly
(Gainesville Florida)

I'm 24 an I am a widow already! Life sucks!

I met Johnny when I was 15 years old. I was always so shy, he helped me pick up my books that had fallen from my backpack. And asked if I would talk with him after class, and we have been together ever since.

We were married almost 3 years ago, we married without our parents consent or approval. But my family liked my husband but thought we were too young and needed to finish school first. His mother hates me and so does his 5 sisters. We have no children, we both wanted them, but he has been sick with kidney failure and we were waiting till he could get a new kidney. I was not a match, we were on a list to give my kidney if we could find a match for him.

I worked full time as a Dental Assistant and went to school in Gainesville and my husband was disabled, but he was a great cook and wonderful friend to all and my best friend.

He died three weeks ago and the pain is terrible and his family is making it worse. We believe in God and Loved God but we didn't believe in the dogma of many religions.

His mother insisted we have a church service at her church and I wanted the service just family and private. Didn't happen. Now she wants to take everything in our home and our pug dogs, we have 3. That she gave us years ago and our two cats.

My family has a ranch in Ocala and said I could move home into the guest house if I want.

So I don't get to grieve in peace, I have to fight with my husband's family for what little we had, mostly the pets, who were our children.

I love him so, I'm dying inside and this is hell!!

Help if anyone is out there who is a young widow; how are you doing this thing called death.

I know he's out of pain, I feel guilty that I had to work. When he was dying his sisters pushed me out of the room so it would be just family. I was his family!!

Please someone out there help me!!!! My parents are trying but they don't know how it feels.

thank you

Comments for My Love My Life My Johnny

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Apr 06, 2012
See a solicitor
by: Mich

This is awful. I feel for you so much. But you need to seek legal advise in regards to the family, to stop them taking everything away from you like your dogs, home etc. Good luck.

Feb 18, 2012
I am a young widow too
by: steffy

I am 20 years old and just lost my husband one month ago.

The pain is horrible, I am expecting his baby. Our little boy will be here in less then a month but Cody is gone,

Cody was only 21 years old and was shot and killed last month Jan 16 2012

I dont know how to deal with this pain, it hurts too much especially because we had so much to live for.

Try and be strong is all I can say, I know its hard, I am dying inside but there has to be something good out there for us.

You were his wife you need to be firm with his family, He married you, He loved you , you were the most important person to him dont forget that, you were his love his companion his bestfriend, dont let his family tell you otherwise.

Please let me know if you want to chat more, I need alot of help right now understanding why god would take someone so young and beautiful like my husband cody, He was my everything. I dont know what to do with my life anymore.

How am I suppose to be a good mother to his child when I feel so empty

Nov 29, 2010
i know how you hurt
by: josie

i know how it feels to lose yr husband i lost mine too and i lost my daughter, his daughter, she was 26. The family pushed you out of the room, they need to pray for his forgiveness you are his family too. your his wife and will always be i know the pain you must hold inside but you must remember he's lookin down on you right now and knows just how much you love him. i dont think he would like the fact the family pushed you out of the room but thats something you can live with, knowing you were there but ask yourself can they? ask them one day i'll pray for you- hugs!!!!

Jul 20, 2010
Your family will hold you together
by: Anonymous

It sounds as if you're having a hard time with family members who are going through grief too. I'm sure if your mother and father talk to your mother-in-law for you, things may change. However, if she doesn't want to be reasonable you may have to distance yourself from your husband's family. Maybe with time you will reconcile with them.

My husband's mother treated me terrible and she lived with us; she wanted our house but in time when she found out she had no claim on our home, she came around. We have a friendly relationship now, although, she no longer lives with me we still have a common bond of love for her son, my husband.

I distanced myself by moving her to her own apartment. Now we see each other when we choose.
I hope things will work out for you.

Jul 13, 2010
You Are Not Alone
by: Heather

You're not alone, my life sucks too!!! It feel as if I'm on a never ending roller coaster from hell.

I just lost my husband two and half weeks ago, he was 27. The day he was supposed to leave the hospital was the day that he died from cystic fibrosis. We were going to North Carolina to see about a lung transplant. The day that he was cremated was the day of our appointment with the doctors there.

Can't eat, Can't sleep, Can't think and I feel I'm in a Nicholas Sparks novel.

I also have pugs and a crazy mother-in-law who went off at the funeral home because I had to sign some forms to release my husbands body to the funeral home. It took almost two weeks to get him back from Gainesville Florida. He was at Shands Hospital. We live in North Florida.

I wish that I could tell you things will get better soon, but I too am in a dark place searching for my way out. I am 26 and now a widow too. People keep telling me I'm not alone and things will always get better, and remember the good times. I hope somehow things start looking up for the both of us. I think they're full of s--t.

Jul 12, 2010
by: AnonymousJenny

So, so sorry to hear of your grief and pain. This intolerable nightmare of yours seems to be added so much by the other situations you are forced to face. It sounds wrong to me, because as a wife the decisions now should fall to you, not your in-laws. I became a widow at the age of 38. My husband died following a journey with cancer that lead him to the most awful death. The flash backs haunt me still and the anger inside of me rages. This was a year and a half ago and I still find the whole thing too big. I got to make all the decisions regarding every situation that has arisen since. They say things get better. I'm still waiting for that. Its just all too big!!!
I send you my thoughts and love. Stay strong... we have no choice...
Jenny x

Jul 12, 2010
Early Grief
by: Hope

Oh, How I feel for you. I am not a young nor old widow. The time is never enough. You want more regardless of your age. And trying to hold on to what you shared is only natural. I cannot lesson your pain, keep reading, we have all gone through the pain of grief. Though I am not sure you ever actually get through it at all. One day you can see the beauty little by little coming into focus. My best to you as you work your way through this debilitating grief. HH

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