My Love My Life

by Cara
(Lakewood, CO US)

My Savannah

My Savannah

Savannah was treasured by everyone who met her. She was more than a dog. Everyone said so. She had human qualities that were absolutely amazing. I always felt that she chose me.

She came to me when she was only 8 weeks old. I was in the process of grieving the loss of my children. They had uninvited me out of their lives. My ex brought Savannah home to me just 10 minutes before I was going to work. I prayed all day that I would not take her because of the heart pain I would suffer in the end. I've had enough heart pain in my life. I just couldn't take one more. When I got home from work that day, she was so happy to see me. She wanted only me. My ex told me that he hadn't fed her all day. That's when I decided that I would keep her for my own.

We had 10 wonderful years together. She was at my side every minute of the day. I did everything for her ignoring myself much of the time. I bought the car for her and I moved in to a new place for her. She was diagnosed with diabetes 2 months ago. On July 15, I moved us across the street to another townhouse where there were no stairs for her to climb. I can't stand being here now, but I signed a 1 year lease. Hopefully, it will get easier. Her little hips were beginning to give out. After trying to give her insulin injections and her crying every time I did, I decided to find another vet to care for her. I asked him if he ever had success in treating diabetes without insulin. It was a proven fact that he had. We took her off the insulin and his treatment plan began to work. Her glucose level had dropped and we were definitely making progress. She was returning to her old self. However, a week later, she quit eating and it turned out that she was suffering pancreatitis. Seven days later, DOC said he wanted to admit her so they could be there for anything that came up. The next day, I went in to see her and she couldn't stand up. She had lost 20 pounds and all you could feel were her bones. I had also told her that if she felt she needed to leave that she could. I would truly miss her, but I didn't want her to suffer any more. That morning DOC strongly recommended that we get her back on insulin. I said, of course. He gave her her insulin and we thought everything was going to be fine. I was already making plans to bring her home with me. Just two hours after I returned home, he called me to let me know that her heart had stopped and she was gone.

Since then, I'm so lost and everything little thing grabs my stomach. My chest hurts and at times, my arm goes numb. I just pray that I'm taken back to her. Unfortunately, this so called benevolent being feels that I have more to do here, I suppose.

The only thing I have control over is my eating. I choose not to eat. I thought Savannah and I had made a commitment to go together. I was sure that if I didn't go with her, I would very shortly. I can't live in this life without her. As I said, before, she was my life and my thread with life. It's snapped and it's no more.

Comments for My Love My Life

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Aug 13, 2012
So sorry
by: Anonymous

It's silly o'clock in the morning and I'm crying my eyes out over the loss of my wonderful X collie dog, Toby who sadly passed away at the age of 16 on the 10th June, 2012. He was my best friend and I cant begin to tell you how missed he is. Needless to say, my heart goes out to you. Just remember, though that your gorgeous doggie is now in a safe place, free from pain and suffering and able to watch down on you from afar and help guide you through life. All of our pets who are in spirit, will not want to see us all getting upset and so we all need to stay strong and focussed, in the knowing that one day we will all be reunited. Love Johanne X

Aug 13, 2012
My Love My Life
by: Doreen U.K.

Cara I am so sorry for your loss of your pet dog Savannah. You developed a special bond with your dog which has left a terrible void in your life. It is hard coping with Loss in Life. The good things that come into our lives and make a difference seem to be short lived and the bad things we could do without seem to go on forever.
I am sorry also that you have lost your children from your life. Savannah made a difference and took away some of the former pain losing your children. You now end up with nothing. You may need to see a grief counsellor to help you cope with the losses in your life since this is affecting your health with severe physical symptoms. You will never replace Savannah. But you may go on to embrace another pet into your life which will be different but bring you Love and Joy. This is what is important. To grieve the loss of your children. Grieve the loss of Savannah. Go on to embrace another dog that can and will enhance your life. Each dog has a different personality. Keep a Pet Journal. Write in this journal your day to day experiences with your pet and how he/she makes a difference in your life. YOu will then have all the memories forever in a written account. You can even start a pet journal for Savannah. Recapturing all those special moments you had with her. You may also be able to express some of your pain/grief/hurt over losing Savannah that will be a very cleansing experience for you. I hope that the days ahead will get easier for you and that you will be able to put something in your life that will make you feel better.

Aug 13, 2012
She will always be with you
by: Johnny

My prayers and thought are with you and Savannah. I know how you feel. I lost my best fur buddy a week ago and I think about him constantly. Everything I do or see around the house reminds me of him. I think it's their way of saying it's Ok I'm here with you. To remind us how each and every moment we spent together was special and a process that will turn our grief into happy memories. So, keep strong and know that Savannah is still with you every moment of every day and wants you to live and be strong for her. I also found lighting a candle helps me: : I find it very comforting. Keep strong and take care of yourself. I believe time will heal our broken hearts.

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