My Love

by Jennifer O'Connor

I just lost my husband of 15 yrs on May 1st 2012 from Lung Cancer he was only 40 years old. The day he passed he looked at me for 2 to 3 seconds and moved his arm. I know he saw me and all i said was i love u baby please don't go. He passed at 10:35am at home.
He was my everything, now i am empty inside.
It's been very hard to deal with losing the love of my life.
I cry every night and can't eat.
Last night at 4 am i heard some say I LOVE U for about 3 seconds I know that was him. All i want is to hold him and kiss him and see his handsome face. I want him home!!

Comments for My Love

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Jun 18, 2012
I want to be with my husband
by: Anonymous

I lost my husband may 1 2012 from Cancer and i want is ti be right next to him.
I will never be able to move on without him he was my everything, i am lost and lonely and feel a void.

Jun 17, 2012
My love
by: Anonymous

My husband worked for a steel mill for 10 years, he worked so much.
I noticed that he wasnt feeling good so i told him to go to the doctors and like all men do they say i'm fine. So one day he left work because he couldn't breath so we went to the hospital thats when then told him in 2010 that he had cancer. We where shocked and did not believe it. We went to another hospital and it was true. Chemo after chemo and medicine so much pain he had.
Then one day he got very sick he had edema so we went to the hospital on a Tuesday (test after tests) he also was having problems breathing. The doctor came in his room on Wednesday morning and told us that he was terminal and he didn't have long to live. My husband and myself where in shock. My husband did not believe the doctor so i had to tell him and all he did was cry and didn't understand. Thursday morning the doctor asked him if he wanted to die in the hospital on a breathing machine or die at home. He wanted to die at home so i set up hospice. We left the hospital by AMBULANCE Monday night got home at 630pm everything was great the whole night he ate drank and laughed and saw hie friends and family.Tuesday morning i woke up at 800am and i knew there was a problem so i called the hospice nurse and she tried to help he, didnt work he could not get any air and couldn't breath. At 1035am at home he passed in his chair at home. All i want to do is to be with him i am so lost without him.

Jun 05, 2012
Know how you feel Jennifer
by: Doreen England U.K.

Jennifer I am sorry for your loss. My husband Steve had lung cancer MESOTHELIOMA inoperable, incurable, aggressive, and caused by working with ASBESTOS. A deadly cancer that left Steve in severe pain. It takes 40 to 60 years to develope and if wive's wash their husbands clothes some particles can lodge in the lung and therefore some women have died before their husbands.
Steve died 4 weeks ago and I have just laid him to rest in a grave for 2. I wish I could join him now as my heart is aching so bad I don't know how I can go on. Steve was my heartbeat. We were married for 44 years and Steve was 65years of age and did not get to see any of his retirement. Steve survived 3 years.39days. I am so lonely without him and knowing he is not coming back makes me feel panicky. I don't want a new life, I don't want to alter who I am by living as a single person changing my whole way of life. I want my Steve back. It isn't fair that so many people are now dying of cancer as common as the flu. One day at a time feels like an eternity when facing the lonliness the days last longer.
I wish you peace in the days ahead as you cope with your loss.

May 30, 2012
June 7th will be seven months
by: Anonymous

Cancer, cancer, I hate cancer. In june of 2009 it just rocked my world, my daughter's world, it ended my husband's life november 7th 2011> During that time and since I never saw his family come around to help, we lost everything financially and i am sinking in the debt. working again and coaxing my daughter through college, living alone while she goes to school. I am 46. he was 54 when he died. I am young enough to find a love again but it takes so much effort and still i feel so alone. I am getting past believing someone could ever replace him and i have been on a date. i like laughing about things with someone, things totally out of this space that was ours. myreality is he is never coming back no matter how much i miss him and cry over him, and i am left here to live, i am learning to understand that now. he is just gone although our memories liver forever. i never thought i would get to eat again, get out of bed comb my hair or start wanting to look ok again. this past weekend i grilled for the first time in 20 years just my daughter and i. it was special and everything we are learing to do without him is a first, and we can laugh about it now, when at first we dare not speak about it, like christmas that came 6 weeks or so after,like thanksgiving 2 weeks after his death, i mean it all was a blur just cooking and baking and nothing was normal. now e must hafve a new normal. i am struggling alone with so many issues. a car accident, fighting the insurance company now, all the time wishing he were here to argue about it but learning too that i have to do these things now and amazing myself at my own power. always remembering Donald is my strength and my rock as he always has been and he is helping guide my life again, i know now i can probably fall in love again, probably marry again but there will never be another us. I am thankful not to cry every day and night but the grief bursts still come for sure

May 29, 2012
I miss my husband of 38 years
by: Kathleen (Turner) Mchugh

My husband died August 2008 I miss him all time Seconds before he died we were in the elevator going to ICU I looked down at him his face was turned away from me I said Del I'm here he turned his head looked and up at me,our eye's met. The elevator stopped I got off while they got him settled in bed walked to the end of the hall and someone came and told me he was gone that fast, He had been in and out of the hospital for the past seven years I thought we would be together for a few more year's he was a strong minded man. My heart is still crying I never thought It would be so hard to live without him, When I went to the hospital two years after he passed I woke up after surgery and he was standing to the right of my bed I didn't really see him I knew he was there I ask him why he told people I was in the hospital and he just laughed slightly not loud just enough for me to know he was there, I would have been so scared to be alone in the hospital but with him there I was very unafraid and confrontable slept the whole night I was and am thankful that God sent him to be with me on that night I believe that if I really want to see him or just feel him near he will be with me God know's how much I need to be confronted by the man that was the best to me and the children I have wonderful memories of our life together Sure we had not so good time's but the love and good time's outweigh anything else

May 29, 2012
I know how you feel
by: Julie

My heart aches for you. I lost my Charlie 7 weeks ago and I know exactly how you feel. Although I am 3 weeks farther down the road,nothing's any better. I am having a very bad day. I still can not believe he won't just come home someday. I can't stand the thought of being alone for 5,10 or God fobid 20 years. If Charlie's not coming back, I want to go with him now.
I'm not being of much help to you, but at least you know what you are feeling is not crazy. I wish you peace.

May 29, 2012
i want my life back
by: Anonymous

i lost my husband 6mos. ago,sometimes i wish i was with him.this is the hardest thing i have ever gone through. im so lonely. i understand how u feel completely. i want my life back. unless u walk this walk u have no idea what this is like. ur friends arent around,it sees when the funeral everyone goes back to their life. your life is forever changed,there is no more normal.

May 28, 2012
I understand how much pain u r in
by: Anonymous

My thoughts & heart go out to you ! I have been searching the Internet hoping to connect with someone who knows what devastating loss of the one you live is!!!!!! I can hardly breath :(

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