My Love

On Sept.15,2012 at 11:30 I receive a call from a family member stating that my brother had been shot. I panic and got my mother. We hurried to put our clothes on. The next called I got almost killed me. A lady on the other end asked me a question that I wasn't prepared for. She called my fiance name. I told he yes. She asked our relation. I informed her that he was my fiance. She told me that he was dead. He was killed by my cousin. This is still fresh and very overwhelming. I haven't came to understanding what is going on. Even though we have had the funeral. I feel anger, confused, sad, mad, ect. I need help

Comments for My Love

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Sep 28, 2012
My Love
by: Doreen U.K.

You are very welcome to any support I can give. I do understand that you will not be able to talk to other family members whilst an investigation is going on. Same here in England they also can't mention any names on TV for legal reasons. I guess it is the same in America.
I am glad you are getting the support you need via seeing a counsellor. It is really the most sensible thing to do. I did it and I got my life back. if I did not go into counselling I may have ended my life as I was very desperate.
Concentrate on yourself first. When you feel better you will be able to handle the answers to the questions that need to be answered. I am sorry for your loss and hope that in time you will go on to Love again and be Happy. That you may also be able to re-establish a relationship with your family and that any divisions will eventually heal from this tragedy.

Sep 27, 2012
Doreen
by: Anonymous

You are so right. I have so many questions that are unanswered. I am not allowed to talk to my cousin. This is all still fresh. It is in investigation still. I can't have any relation with my family. I have thought bout getting some help. That's my next step. Thank you so much for your advice..

Sep 27, 2012
My Love
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for your loss of your fiance. I don't understand why you would get this message in a phone call. I would have thought that a Law enforcement officer would have come to your door and offer you ongoing support like they do in England. It is called Family Liaison Services. I strongly recommend that you use your Social Services to get yourself an urgent grief counsellor. With a sudden death you would benefit from this support. You will still be in a state of shock for some time. Please write back if you need to. We never put closure on death. It is ongoing grief till it doesn't hurt so much, but for a murder there has to be preliminary closure otherwise your grief will be prolonged because you won't have the answers you need to enable you to move forward. Your biggest part of grief will be ANGER. You will be sad and numb and mad, and crying a lot. Your emotions may even be frozen till you can process what happened. This may not be a premeditated murder. It may be anger that got out of control, a fight pursued and a death took place. Anger and Rage kill. You will need to know why your cousin did this. You will know your cousin's background e.g. If he was a violent person? Was he prone to outbursts of anger? Was drugs involved? The same questions about your fiance? This will help you to build up a picture and help your grief. It may have been an accidental death provoked by whatever situation went on. You need to find these answers for your own peace of mind, when you are ready to.

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