My Loving Father

by HB
(JC,NJ USA)

Hello.... I lost my Dad a few years ago. Strangely enough, I did not grief for him because other people in my life at the time did not mind he died. In any event, I was in a bad marriage and was too occupied to really confront my feeling for my deceased father. This year was a strange year. I started to have vivid dreams of my father and visions of him too. He would come to me and give me certain messages. He told me to move back to New Jersey and leave Florida. He told me other things, to help in certain situations. Every time, I study for Physics, I feel him very close to me. My father was a mechanical engineer and he was a genius. He taught me all the math's in high school and in college. When I study Physics, I have these bad migraine headaches that are really bad.

My past relationship with my father was wonderful. We also became very close after I graduated from College. We would have long walks in the park or any where else. He gave me such great advice. Now, I don't have that anymore. I miss him deeply. When I mediate, I also feel his energy and then I feel his guidance sometimes.

Back to the dreams, when I wake up after the dreams I have of my father. I feel horrible. It's even sometimes very painful. I cry and then the crying just doesn't stop. I hope I get better. I need to strong for my family.

If anyone, has the same experience, please let me know. I am joining a grief/loss group soon.

Thanks

Comments for My Loving Father

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Jul 22, 2013
My Loving Father
by: Doreen U.K.

HB Grief is not something you store up and deal with when you have time. Grief happens automatically. Memories will intrude into our mind, we will cry, be sad, feel very unhappy for a long time. All aspects of grief. The pain of grief is horrendous. It can make one wonder what has happened to them. Let grief happen. Cry, scream if you feel like it but get that emotion and pain of loss out of your system so healing can take place. Don't let anybody dictate to you how you should feel or what to do. Follow your heart. Don't share your thoughts with those you feel will not understand and just add to your grief. Choose your confidants carefully. Go to a counsellor if this helps.
Don't try to be strong for your family. Just be yourself. Those around you will love you for being you and won't mind you expressing grief and emotion. Those people in your life who do find fault are not worth having around you.
When my husband died 14 months ago I started having dreams of him all the time. I do believe something does happen to some people whilst others who get no dreams or memories will feel something is wrong. Nothing is wrong if one doesn't get memories or dreams. In my dreams my husband was always alive. My husband came to his niece in a dream and told her our computer was all messed up. My niece Yes! Uncle I know it is and I am going to fix it tomorrow when I ask Aunty for the password. My husband said don't worry aunty I will give it to you now. HE DID. And it was accurate. She managed to get into the computer and do what she needed to do. Then our telephone rang and our house number came up with my husband's name. Other people have had dreams also. A white bird I call our angel visited us before my husband was diagnosed with a terminal cancer. this bird stayed with us all through the cancer journey of 3yrs. and 1yr. after so for 4 1/2 years this bird was by our side as if watching over us. He is gone now and I wonder about this bird our angel. WE will all have different experiences that help us in our grief and this is all it is. Mercy shown to us from God.

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