My Loving wife


My wife was named Kathy she was the most kind hearted woman i have ever known,i Married her on Jan 20th 1974 she gave me 3 beautiful children a Son and 2 daughters, in august of 2008 she went to the doctor for a check up they found she had 2 lesions on her colon they told her they could get if she agree to have surgery i was against it but she said yes they did the surgery on oct 10th 2008 but found they could not hook her rectum back to her colon so she was stuck with a bag to wear. they said they got it all and would follow up with radiation for any cells that might be left with this news my wife was ok with the bag she was happy that she would be alive to tell her story to her grand kids but for some reason that didn't happen,the cancer came back with a vengents it went to her Liver and her Kidneys she lost her battle on april 28th 2009 in 8 months after her surgery and after she was told by doctors she would live they got it they lied she passed away in her bed at home.in the 8 months from her surgery til her death she went from 185 lbs down to 78 lbs when she died in her bed holding my hand she took her last breath i feel so lost without her i just live from day to day but always alone i just have to be by my self when your married and wake up to the same face for 35 years and one day its all gone that is something ya just can't live with. i prayed and her church prayed But God had a deft ear now i have lost all faith in my self and everyone around me.and i can't seem to talk to God without yelling i was a faithful man and a lead guitar player and lead singer but now that faithful man is nowhere to be found since God took everything i believed in and laid it in the ground i guess somewhere i must have crossed a yellow line and when i laid my wife to rest is the day i lost my mine i just hope someday i can find peace but for that's few years i relived it every day just as if it happen yesterday and unless i can someday let it go I'll live in torment and darkness the rest of my life God rest her soul... she was a good woman and wife and mother

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Oct 12, 2013
Loving wife
by: Anonymous

I am very sorry for the loss of your wife and the terrible way she passed on. I too lost my husband who I was with for 33 years to a sudden massive heart attack, 14 months ago. I was very angry at God too and I still am but not quite as intense. How can you not be? But I do think He understands and hears this all the time from us widows and widowers. Just the fact that we are angry at God shows that we do believe in Him and in some profound way this must be good. I think this draws some of us closer to God and the spiritual reality most people are unaware of.

When you are married you always think that you will pass away first, not the other way around. I used to tell my husband that I was very scared of death. He said he wasn't because there was nothing you could do about it anyway. That sometimes gives me a little comfort. I pray quite frequently for strength to get through this horrendous heavy loss. While I am sad at my husband's passing I am also sad that I got left behind to live on alone. I miss just sitting with him and talking to him about everything.

I know my husband would not want to see me so sad and I try not to be...I try to live on and accept the fact. But there are times you can't help but just sit there and cry your eyes out. Until we meet again, I like to think. I hope our sorrows on this earth are serving some kind of purpose, what, I don't know. We will all find out someday.

Oct 11, 2013
My Loving Wife
by: Alan

I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. I too lost my beloved wife 8 and a half months ago. My grief is worse now than at any time since she died. What was God thinking? He gave us the ability to adore someone so utterly and then he allows your loved one to die. I know that's all too simplistic. There must be a reason for this awful grief. Is this a test? Why do some human beings love someone with all their soul yet others are incapable of feelings? The emptiness I feel (and you) is so debilitating yet we have to carry on. What was my 40 years and your 35 years for? It went by too quickly and here I am, left here on this Earth without my darling. I don't think my precious girl would have survived this grief if it was me who went first. It's too consuming, I know exactly how you feel.
I can't give you any grief advice but thank God there are people on this Earth like you who give their all to their loved ones. They say time heals and I think it will get a bit easier but for now please realise you are not alone. The wonderful people on this site will be praying for you and we can all go on this journey together. Our wives are waiting for us, of that I am certain. Best wishes.

Oct 10, 2013
your grief
by: Lawrence

Hi,
Waking up and not seeing the woman you adore next to you is one of the most depressing and heartbreaking thing that can happen to a man.
I still stretch out my hand in bed searching for her comforting body hoping it was all a bad dream and when realization strikes that she really is dead the tears still flow even after nine months.
Compared to you I was lucky, my precious wife died in the blink of an eye, one minute we were talking the next she died.
The ambulance men tried so hard to restart her heart and there was a mad dash to the nearest hospital as they did CPR in the back, I watched horror struck as I sat with the driver, I couldn’t cry I was too shocked watching this nightmare unfolding.
On arrival the consultant was waiting and told me that if they could get her heart beating again she would be brain dead, would I give permission for them to stop, which I regretfully did.
Making that life or death decision is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Was it the right one, what if the consultant got it wrong, should they have tried longer?
I know it is all academic now but no one should have to make that decision on a loved one’s life.
I can see you went through hell with your precious wife and you have my deepest sympathy, but you can’t live in torment for the rest of your own as you stated.
I often think how wonderful it would have been if we had died together as you often read about.
Putting the key in the lock of your home when you know your wife or husband will not be there with a welcoming smile is one of the most depressing times in your life, a home without a loved one in it just becomes a house, bricks and mortar.
You are a musician, as I am, I play guitar, violin and organ so compose a song in memory of your beloved wife, call it “A SONG FOR KATHY” I know it’s been done but so what, this is your”KATHY”.
You are also computer literate so write a book of the wonderful love you had for each other, your children will have it to read long after you join your wife, it doesn’t matter if you think it is rubbish, I have written dozens of novels, all rubbish but it helps to ease the ache in your heart.
You had thirty five years of love and passion in your marriage; so many people are never that lucky. I had nearly seventy years with my beloved sweetheart and wife so believe me I know what torment you are feeling.
What I am trying to say is, “KEEP YOURSELF BUSY” and start living your life again, it’s what Kathy would have wanted
I repeat my mantra that people must be sick of reading but it is so relevant.
“GRIEF IS THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR LOVE”
Take care and cherish your children, they are the fruit of your wonderful love affair.
Lawrence.

Oct 09, 2013
My Loving Wife
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your wife in 2009. That was the year my husband of 44yrs. went to the doctor with a chest infection. Which led to an Xray which showed shadows on the lungs. He ended up having a biopsy with devastating news he had an inoperable, incurable malignant tumour developing over 40yrs. from working with Asbestos in his 20's. I sent out Prayer all over America on the God channel for a miracle. He died 17 months ago after a 3yr. battle. I was angry with God for a long time. But I have my Faith back. Anger is a part of grief. It is just so hard understanding it. Don't forsake God. He is all we have and is the only one who has all the answers. He is also our healer from Grief. I know I will see my husband again when Jesus comes back for us as He promised. I hold onto this HOPE. Otherwise there would be no point to life if this was all there is. God sent His Son to DIE for US. We only die because of SIN on this earth. Jesus is coming back to destroy SIN and DEATH. FOREVER. Death was never part of God's original plan. God has Comforted me in my grief and is bringing me through. But this is a long and hard road. Many people wonder why the good people die and the evil people left. This is just so they have a chance to be SAVED. God doesn't want anyone to Perish. But this is according to OUR CHOICE. Hold onto HOPE. And take one day at a time.

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