My Megan

by Michelle
(Grove City, Pa)

2012 Marathon

2012 Marathon

January 8th, 2013. 10:09am my 22 year old daughter Megan is pronounced dead.
I work from home and earlier that morning our cat BC had wondered into her room and gave out the most awful cry. I got up to check on him as this is a cat we have had for 17+ years and never even meowed., once! As soon as I went into her room a feeling of fear came over me. She should have been home by now. I shrugged it off and figured she must have stopped by a friend on her way back from her morning run. There is no doubt in my mind that her soul passed through this house as if perhaps to say goodbye and BC felt her
Megan was training for her second marathon. In 2012 she ran her first half marathon in Pittsburgh Pa. Out of the top 50 women out of thousands of runners, she came in 49th. She was hit by a truck. My whole life gone
Determined? That’s my Megan. She graduated with honors early from Clarion University. On the day of graduation, December 15th 2012 she was taking her gre’s for graduate school. She applied in Colorado and Ohio. Megan looked at me one day and said “Mom, I don’t care about the money, I just want to help people”. She did not even get to see her degree or her acceptance letters from both schools.
Our whole world came to an end that day. Two Police Officers came to my door; “There’s been an accident” I asked if she was ok and again all I got from them with “there’s been an accident”. At that point I begged “please tell me she is ok, is she alive”? No reply.
As we entered the emergency room, the nurse informed us that the breathing tube was still inserted. There she laid, her lifeless body. I looked at her face and could not believe all the color was just gone. It did not even seem real. At first no tears came. I sat at the end of the table in a chair and held her head in my arms and rested my cheek on her forehead. It was so cold. I sat there until the emergency room nurse look at me and said “mom”, it’s time to go”. Go where I thought. There is nowhere to go, no place to hide. The pits of Hell opened right up and sucked us in, that’s where we went.
I miss her, terribly. I miss her hugs. She would always come up to me “I need a hug” she would say and throw her arms around me. I miss talking with her. She could make me laugh and that is not easy. Her smile was breath taking. Every picture of her she is smiling. That moment she was born I knew there was something special about her but I could not explain it. I did not know what exactly it was and I even remember telling a friend of mine.
She was the poster child of awesome. Swam for 9 years on two teams, one for school and one for the Y which took every second of any free time, studied, worked, never a stich of trouble. She would call me so heartbroken when she would see people standing at Wal-Mart needing work for food. she would get into her wallet and hand them her only $20.00. She said, I'd of only spent it on needless things. She loved to bake. a couple weeks before she died she said "teach me how to make pie crust" The last pie she made to take up to her boyfriends parents I asked if she wanted me to teach her then. Nah, next time. Little did any of us no that soon there would be no next times for anything.
I looked at my husband one day and said "I can't believe she was our daughter"
I have a son who made it through two wars and a daughter who did not make it across the street. All her hopes and dreams, her future and ours gone in a second. She was my world.
The night before she died she posted on her facebook this:
3,228.5 Miles Biked
883.88 Miles Ran
3 Charity Bike Rides
2 Sprained Ankles
1 Pelvis Stress Fracture
"Couldn't ask for a better life!
Megan Kays
I simply cannot imagine the rest of my life without her.

Comments for My Megan

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Mar 17, 2014
My heart goes out to you
by: sherry

I feel so awful that you have to live you life without your beautiful daughter. I lost my precious Chelsea four years ago. She had just graduated from the University of Michigan and moved to New York for a job. When Chelsea died, I died. My heart is broken and the sadness never leaves me. If you ever want to talk you can email me. I live in Maryland.

Mar 06, 2014
Losing an adult child
by: Sheela Hari's mom

I am really sorry for Megan. It should never be like that. Mothers living and watching their child and baby taking their last breath. I can relate and understand your pain. I lost my son of 23 years 4 and half months back due to a relapse of TB Meningitis and it should never ever happened. He was my strength, my warrior, my soul and spirit. It was like knowing what was going on inside his mind without him telling. I was very very close to him. We mothers have to go on in-spite of this turmoil. Lots of hugs to and let the strength come to you to bear sheela

Jan 12, 2014
by: Anonymous

I am sorry. I too have a daughter just like Megan age, its so hard to lose a child like your, I still have my daughter, but I lose my son who 19 yrs last May 27th 2013 to a murder misery, still on going for connection. Death never fair on this hell on earth, I only hope God will be coming back soon to take us heaven, then we will see our loved one again, hold on for that hope, live one day at a time. xoxoxo Savana

Jan 11, 2014
Our children
by: Seana

That's so interesting that you were told that they wouldn't come back if given a choice. And I agree with you that that is wrong. I agree with you that they were young and smart and beautiful and loved their lives with us here on Earth. They did have so many dreams and they loved being with us and their friends. Knowing that everyone will pass on when they are old makes sense.. And your spirit may be ready when your old and content to stay in heaven , but I just can not believe it for our kids who were so young. Life with us was the best.. They would have never wanted to give it up... My email address is if you ever want to connect. Anyone who reads this that wants to help or be helped, I am here for you all and I will accept all the help I can get.. I know Megan was so beautiful... I hear the love in your words.. We are changed and broken forever.... I can't wait to be in heaven with our kids if that's the way it has to be...

Jan 09, 2014
Sweet Megan
by: Seana

Your daughter Megan sounds so sweet snd beautiful and it is so sad that she is not physically here with you now, living and loving her life on Earth with all of her family and friends... I swear she would want this too. It's not fair, here on Earth... It's just wrong. I feel like no one young should die, and tragedies like Megan should not happen... Just like my Skyler, my beautiful and amazing 17 year old son... They should be here with us. I am positive of that... Life is too sad without them...

Jan 09, 2014
Your dear Megan
by: Lorraine

Dear Michelle -- I am so very sorry for your loss of your beloved daughter, Megan. I also lost my 54 yr. old Son Nov.23 2013 to cancer after watching him suffer for almost 2 years every day. I don't know which is worse - losing them suddenly or with a lingering death which was our Son's death.

Megan sounds like she was a wonderful precious daughter & we can't help but wonder why our children are taken from us. Only God knows & maybe he needed them there. Our Son, was so precious also & of all our 3 children he was the one who always phoned at least once a day, sometimes 3 or 4 to see how things were. He lived in another Province but continued to fly out to visit us which made my heart leap whenever he got here. He was a kind, caring soul like your Megan & would give the shirt off his back to help someone. He had a motto - it was I AM THIRD..He said God is first, my friends & family are second & I am third. That's how he lived his life. Michelle, during the last months he came here to live with us as he wanted to be by family. His daughter & little Grandson lived out here also. Baby Lucas was his joy & life. He had been divorced. His ex wife there even helped him so much during his illness as even though it didn't work out for them, she said she never stopped caring for him. He was that kind of person.

I am having a very hard time dealing with his death & pray to God to help me. I miss him so much. I, like you, have lost my heart to him, it went with him.

I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers Michelle & pray God will help you dealing with this. We will never get over their deaths, I know - it just may get easier to accept as time passes by they say. God bless & take care. Lorraine

Jan 09, 2014
Your child
by: Kate

Tears came down my face as I read of your daughter. I am a mother who lost my son nov 2012. I too went into shock, I could not believe it. Not my Louie was all I kept saying,trying to absorb this horrid loss. I do not know how I made it thus far except by God, begging for help. Death of your child is the hardest hit ever in life. It shatters the heart,numbs the soul, pains the mind and so much more. No one knows but those who go through this horrible loss. My heart goes out to is the hardest task ever in life. I feel your love for your daughter and know you have no idea how to accept this. I am still struggling. I'm so sorry for your loss.on this site we are all trying to express this hurtful loss that we must somehow live with. Your love for your daughter will live on,that I do know. The love you shared will always be. Truly sorry. Kate

Jan 09, 2014
Dear Michelle,
by: Anonymous

I am so, so sorry to read about your daughter - What an absolutely heartbreaking story. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers today. I hope that one day you will be able to find some peace, Barb

Jan 08, 2014
My Megan
by: Doreen UK

Michelle I am so sorry for your loss of your daughter Megan. This is a mother's worst heartache. We don't worry about our Adult children because we feel they will survive. It hurts so much. I have 3 Adult children and worry about them a lot since I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 20 months ago. I am vulnerable to losing other family members. I still have those traumatic memories of seeing my husband in the funeral parlour in his casket and no life in his body and he was ice cold. Then to see him put in the ground is so very painful. This is such a horrible aspect of life that one finds hard to recover from. Megan sounds as if she was an angel with such a caring personality for other's. My husband was an angel and many people couldn't understand why he was taken out of this world and didn't get time to enjoy any retirement he earned from his working life. I still feel very hurt by losing him. We form relationships and strong bonds and then suddenly death ends this and causes us such turmoil and misery for days, months, and even years to recover from. It hurts all the time knowing we will miss that person we loved from our daily life. We don't even have to think of anything. It is just there. In our spirit. May God comfort you and us all on this site in our grief, sorrow, and loss of our loved one's.

Jan 08, 2014
by: Anonymous

Your Megan was an incredible person, and luckily you knew it, and you were close. Losing a child is so difficult, its awful. I know I lost my son. Your daughter did a lot in the so few years she was here on earth.

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