My mom and best friend

by Shawn
(United States)

My mom died on July 21 of this year. She was only 65, I am 47. She had lupus and was in
ICU for 3 weeks. I was so close to her. I know she is in heaven, but I don't know how I am going to live the rest of my life without her here on earth.

My brother and I will have to go through her belongings soon, I think that will be almost worse than the funeral. I hurt so much. We were blessed to be with her when she passed on to heaven, I promised her we would be okay. It's a hard promise to keep. My mother was the love of my life along with my children.

Comments for My mom and best friend

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Aug 29, 2010
Fight to keep the promise to mom
by: Johneen

Dear Shawn,

I lost my mother in May 2009. She, too was only 65 when she died. Even after more than a year has passed, I still miss her deeply. They say it gets better. It's true. I no longer feel the grief will overwhelm me. My mom was my best friend, my sister, my everything. We were so close. Everything I do remember me of her. Yet, I made a promise I will be okay. That I would take care of my siblings. Therefore, I decide EVERY DAY to celebrate her life through living.

As a woman after losing my mom, I had to redefine who I was. I am her legacy! Shawn, be encouraged. You are the legacy of your mother. She is in heaven. She also lives in you. Remember, take one day at a time, take care of yourself. It takes time. Good or bad, it simply takes time.

Aug 24, 2010
My deepest Sympathy
by: Anonymous

I lost my mom about a week before you lost your mom. Please accept my deepest sympathy. I miss my mother with every breath I take. I have not gone through her things. I know she isn't coming back, but I feel like I'm intruding on her business by going through her items.

God bless you.

Aug 19, 2010
Moving is Hard, but can be a blessing also.
by: Anonymous

My 24 year old daughter passed away in January. I had to go clean out her apt. less than a week after she had passed. I was overcome by my grief when I entered her home, and seen that it was so full of the life she loved, with her small children, pics on the walls and drawings on the fridge. I packed up all her personal items to save, and donated all her furniture and household items to a wonderful charity in her town that made a difference in her life while she was here on earth.

It was the hardest move I have ever had to do.

Aug 18, 2010
Shawn About Losing Mom
by: Anonymous

When I read your letter, knew I had to tell you
about how much alike our situations are. In July
2009, my mom passed away from cancer 3 days after we found out she was ill. My life stopped. I really thought the grief and pain would consume me.

Then this July 1st we found out my brother was terminally ill with cancer and he passed away July 21st. Three weeks after the shock of knowing he couldn't live, he was gone. I found myself in deep depression and double grief, if there is such a thing.

A week after that, we were told we had to move everything out of my mom's house. It was almost like a death all over again. Because everything was just like she had left it. My children
packed and took most of ther things to their homes to keep. The things I got, were put up
and will stay there until I can deal with it.

It is the most painful thing to go through, losing your loved ones, and then to have to
have their things touched and moved, things that are so much a part of them. Bless your heart
I feel your pain.

Aug 18, 2010
Loved one things
by: Brenda

My 27 year old son died in May. I ask my sister to go get his things the same day that he died. I was afraid because of the traffic that went through the apartment his things would go missing. He lived with his cousin, my sisters' daughter and they did not always pick the best people to befriend. He did not have a lot. Mainly he had clothes and lots and lots of movies and CD. He had a big screen tv, computer, ipod and a cell phone and a mini drive for the computer. The ipod and mini drive went missing before my sister could drive the hour to Austin to get his things. She brought his things to my house and my husband put the tv in our bedroom and put the movies and CDs up so they would not get broke. His things were put on the couch, bar and table. There they stayed for 2 months. I could not touch them. It made his death more real. Every time I touched them I would break down. My husband (who was not Codys' father) was very understanding. He told me to leave everything were it was until I could handle putting them up. It was hard, very hard but a couple of weeks ago I finally got things put up. I gave some things to his sister and her children and other family members that were close to him. It is all out of sight now except I put his hats in my closet along with one of his shirts and when I miss his so much I can hardly stand it I go hug his shirt and smell his hat. If I close my eyes he is almost there. He was such a mamas' boy and would call me a million times. Now my phone hardly ever rings. I wish I could tell you something that would make you feel better but no matter how we handle our loved ones' things, whether we keep them or give them away, it is still a hard job. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Aug 18, 2010
Moving Day
by: HH

I am probably not the one to give advice as finding my husbands belongings practically makes me want to run and hide in a corner. I have been going through His Garage and that is sooooo hard.

However, When My Father passed almost a year earlier, He was in a nursing home. They wanted his possessions out and he had a lot of things packed into that suite. It was all of his favorite and necessary things painting, photography, pics of future paintings, sketches etc.

When My sis said we not only had to go to the funeral home, but move him out the DAY AFTER he died. I had to pretend we were just moving some one. Not my father, just someone in order to get it done. I'm not saying it will be easy, It won't but if you just try to toss things in boxes and organize things you can go through them later when your heart allows.

Good Luck I know how hard it is...

HH

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