my mom and my true love

by sasirekha
(new jersey)

Its been 4 months since my mom died of lung cancer.its was shocking news when she was diagnosed with stage 4 carcinoma lung cancer on august.the doctor couldn't find the reason for the disease.she was undergoing chemo for 4 months and it was terrible seeing her suffering with pain. she lost weight and couldn't eat.she was a strong person and she supported me and my brother in our life. she was there at my wedding and for my kid.

A year back i had to move from india to new jersey with my husband and my son(19 months). so i missed my mom for nearly a year and a half.she had back pain and chest for few months and i flew to India when she was diagnosed with cancer. i was staying with her and i saw her suffering everyday.she died on DEC 9th 2013 ,i was not with her and i feel so guilty. she died in the arms of my brother and dad on the way to the hospital. i feel so guilty that i was not there for her.i am back to NJ now i am not able to sleep and i think of her every day. i cannot stop crying whenever i think of the pain she was suffering.God, I was so devastated, I was not by her side to say goodbye. I wanted her grand son to be there. i wanted to tell her how great my Mother was.she was so innocent and always worried about her children. my dad and my brother are alone in India. i miss them so much.i don't know what i am going to do without her in my life.

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