My mom, brutally stolen from me...

by Gina
(Ohio)

My mom was murdered on Feb. 10, 2010. It was much too early for her to go. I am 30 yrs old. I have a husband and three small sons. And now here I am... not wanting to face a world that is still going on. My world has stopped. My world was taken from me that morning when a crazy man attacked my mother for his own selfish reasons.

I am the younger of two sisters. Growing up it was always me, my mom and my sister. She was the most amazing mother in the world, so much more, but always a mother first. And now I feel like a part of me is gone. She was my MOM! My rock, my heart, my soul. She was the one person in the world who I trusted no matter what, without a doubt. Good or bad, she was there for me.

Of course, if I messed up, she would tell me so, but then she would turn around and guide me into fixing it. Now this is the worst thing I have ever had to face and she is not here to guide me. I don't get to call her and ask questions. I don't get to listen to what she would do. That's the thing, she wasn't one of the moms that did everything for me, or disapproved of the things I did. She believed in me. She accepted who I was. Even the negatives! My mom never wanted to change me. She always let me be...me.

And now.... it seems impossible to go on in "normal" life without her here. I am still very much in bereavement. Doing what I need to do to get by. I hardly have a "routine" back. It seems I've hit a wall now. I know I need to move forward for the sake of my own children, but I just don't want to face life without her.