My Mom Dies Everyday

by Sharon
(New York)

My mother died 2 months ago, (April 2012) from a heart attack. I last saw her 2 years ago where she held me in the airport and bid me goodbye as I went off to start college in the US, a 22-hour- flight away from her. She was my best friend and I talked to her everyday, early morning or in the middle of the night, the 8-hour time difference never got in the way. Living away from her was difficult but she supported my dreams even more than I did. Plus, I could not afford to fly back home frequently. However, I managed to save up enough to go back home this summer and I talked to her about how excited I was to go home in May and spend 3 months with her. I talked to her the day before she died, and she told me that she had gone to the doctor because she thought she had a bad cold. I told her to get well soon and that I loved her. How a cold became critical heart disease and pneumonia, I will never understand. All I remember is my father calling me to tell me the news and my first instinct was to call my Mom to complain about how my Dad was telling me insensitive lies. She never picked up. It hurts so much, yet I sometimes forget that she is gone and reach for my phone to call her. Every day when I wake up, it is like she dies again. I am only 21 and I have no idea how I am going to live the rest of my life without my mummy.

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Jul 07, 2012
My Mom Dies Everyday
by: Doreen England

Sharon I am sorry for the loss of your mother. You had a special bond with your mother and it will hurt more. Especially as you are so young. Children becoming Adults and living their own lives will never outgrow the love and care they still need from their mothers. Mothers on the other hand have broken hearts as they have to let their Adult children go. Go on to live their own lives. This is LIFE. We only have our children with us for a short time and when they grow up it is healthy to let them go. I am sure your mother hurt the day you left for the USA to study. But you maintained connection with her. You didn't cut yourself off from her. This is important to remember. The high price is living so far away and not being able to go back home often. I had to face this when I emigrated to Canada. I thought. What am I doing here so far away from family and friends. What if someone dies. How do we get back to England especailly if we can't afford it. We went back home to England. NO REGRETS. 28yrs later My husband Steve had lung cancer and died 8 weeks ago today. I am glad we came home. I have no regrets here. We had a fractured family. e.g me the favourite daughter. Jealousies. etc. We all go through them. But since Steve's death. We are a closer family by way of my 3 sisters and brother. and brother-in-laws. But the conflict arose in my Adult children from Steve's death and they walked away. They have their own issues. Both married. I only have the youngest daughter 31yrs at home and I just have to go on this way whether I like it or not. But OH YES! I still hurt. I hope everything works out for you. Be Happy.

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