My Mom - Gran x

by Nicola
(UK)

I lost my mom in 14th August 2010, so a little over 3 weeks ago. She was actually my gran but I was raised by her since I was 8 weeks old and I called her mom all my life. I feel so alone as she was the only person who truly looked out for me. My Gran-dad is still alive and very active and I still am regularly at the house, I'm not sure how I'm feeling as we were so close, we spent most days together and when i wasn't working I was with her.

I cry all the time and have this feeling of despair that i will never laugh and talk with her again. During the first 2 weeks after her passing I had no time to feel as there was so much to organize for the funeral. It was very important to me that I dressed her and spent time with her before the funeral and did so with the help of my gran-dad, I did find that helped me, but now everything is over I feel a wave of depression coming over me and am not sure what to do.