My Mom Just Passed

by Linda

On Monday the 20th I saw my 91 year old Mother take her lasting gulps of breath and watched the heart machine flat line to zero. I am 54 years old and my father passed in '85. I noticed it affected my relationships with the opposite sex gravitating towards the wrong relationships. I can preach to choir that everyone should grieve properly and read all the books on how to do it. Now I find myself floundering on how to do it myself. I feel like a part of my womanhood has died loosing my Mom. I suddenly feel much older now that she is gone.

I have no children just a husband and most the people I work around are men.

She was quite a warrior through all the torments that life dished out to her. She was quick to anger but quick to love. Living on edge most her adult life.

I will try to recreate my new journey as it will be a whole new life on how to act. I have been her patient advocate since her health started to decline 2006. Each year we thought she would never make it to see the next.

Comments for My Mom Just Passed

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Jan 26, 2014
My Mom Just Passed
by: Doreen UK

Linda I am sorry for your loss of your Mom. She reached an age when death would be expected. It is still hard to accept one's death even at this age. My father is 92yrs. and I am dreading hearing he has passed away even though I will accept this. My husband wasn't so fortunate and died at 65yrs. 20 months ago after a long 3yrs. battle with cancer.
You say you feel so lost without your mother and feel it has affected your womanhood and you will now have to learn how to act. It is possible that you were living your life through your mother and now she has gone it somehow defined who you were. You may benefit from seeing a counsellor to talk about your relationships since you say you feel it has affected your relationships towards men and it is mostly men who you work with. Something is going on in your psyche to cause you to feel this way. I have not only done the whole counselling bit, but I also have a good knowledge of the dynamics of counselling and so I know you would benefit from some professional support. Don't leave it too long as it is robbing you of quality of life. With the right professional help things will work themselves out and you will become the happier person you were meant to be. We are all subjects of our upbringing whether functional or dysfunctional but we don't have to stay that way. I started counselling in my 40's and have not looked back. I have healed in ways I didn't think possible.

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