My Mom, my best friend.

by Elaine
(Regina, Sask. Canada)

My Mom died on June 11/2011, it feels like yesterday. I miss her so much. On Christmas Day I went to her gravesite only to not find it. It was buried under ice and snow..my Dad is buried there also. I thought it would be nice to visit them on a festive day only to not find their gravesites..so I was upset. Christmas has come and went and I did enjoy parts of it. When it was over I felt overwhelming tiredness. I feel its from the stress of the bereavement..its hits you when you least expect it.. I read again and again not to fight the feelings, but that is what I am good at...I am a fighter, I fight what I don't like or feel comforable with..so I try to feel and the feelings come in waves and its so rough and so strong. Then there are good days and delightful moments, I feel I cherish the time with my grown up kids so much more and my two precious granddaughters, they do make my heart feel good. I have a wonderful supporting husband, I have friends but do not feel I am able to talk to them about it much,my one friend seems to not feel that comfortable talking about my mom's loss as she herself lost her Mom 2 years prior..perhaps she isn't the right person. I have lots of friends but not so many close ones. I have another friends that lives 3 hours away so not as helpful.. I do have a habit of dealing with things by myself so maybe that's why I feel so alone...but probably even with a bunch of good friends..I would still feel alone..these after all are my feelings no one else has them...no two people are going to grieve the same..am I not right? Well those are my thoughts for today...I have alot more to say but will save that for another day. Thanks for listening to whomever reads this..

Comments for My Mom, my best friend.

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Jan 07, 2012
Working through the loss
by: Elizabeth

Elaine please know that your mum and dad are not in a graveyard; they were at the table when you were passing the potatoes around, they were beside you when you opened your presents, and they are with you now. My mum crossed over in Moose Jaw in 2009 and my beloved sister joined her less than 2 weeks ago. They are with all the loved ones who went before and they visit here sometimes too. You are wise to take comfort in those loved ones around you who you can hug; there are other less tangible ones who will hug you in whatever way they can. Be kind to yourself for them

Jan 05, 2012
Thanks
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your nice comments. Yes its a journey and I do have some good days but when the bad days hit, you forget how the good days feel. Its one day at a time, that's for sure. I do have a support system but when feeling that low, I have my faith and my husband. I am so sorry that you lost yours, I hope time will heal you too and you find comfort in family, friends and your own faith. Thanks again. Blessings.

Jan 05, 2012
Losing your mom
by: M Mack

Elaine,

I know that lost feeling of loosing your mom and best friend. I lost my mom 19 years ago and now the love of my life has past July 23, 2010. He was my soulmate and the one I felt closest to always - he was my best friend. The two people I shared everything with are gone. It's amazing how one adjusts ever so slowly to a new life. Yes, friends and family are needed to get through the process but you need time for you. Grieving is a journey and if you have supportive friends and family, you will make it. When my mother passed, I felt very lost even though I had my siblings and family around. But people move forward, tend to their own families and lives. There is no question that after a time, inevitably, you have to find your space and comfort zone as you travel along. It does get easier so take your time. Depend on your faith, love yourself and know your mom is there looking out for you. Sending hugs and prayers to help you get through this. God Bless and give you strength to put one foot in front of the other.

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