My Mom, my best friend.
(Regina, Sask. Canada)
My Mom died on June 11/2011, it feels like yesterday. I miss her so much. On Christmas Day I went to her gravesite only to not find it. It was buried under ice and snow..my Dad is buried there also. I thought it would be nice to visit them on a festive day only to not find their gravesites..so I was upset. Christmas has come and went and I did enjoy parts of it. When it was over I felt overwhelming tiredness. I feel its from the stress of the bereavement..its hits you when you least expect it.. I read again and again not to fight the feelings, but that is what I am good at...I am a fighter, I fight what I don't like or feel comforable with..so I try to feel and the feelings come in waves and its so rough and so strong. Then there are good days and delightful moments, I feel I cherish the time with my grown up kids so much more and my two precious granddaughters, they do make my heart feel good. I have a wonderful supporting husband, I have friends but do not feel I am able to talk to them about it much,my one friend seems to not feel that comfortable talking about my mom's loss as she herself lost her Mom 2 years prior..perhaps she isn't the right person. I have lots of friends but not so many close ones. I have another friends that lives 3 hours away so not as helpful.. I do have a habit of dealing with things by myself so maybe that's why I feel so alone...but probably even with a bunch of good friends..I would still feel alone..these after all are my feelings no one else has them...no two people are going to grieve the same..am I not right? Well those are my thoughts for today...I have alot more to say but will save that for another day. Thanks for listening to whomever reads this..