My mom the most amazing person and my best friend

by Andrea

My mom moved us out of the country due to financial problems. I constantly complained and would be such a brat about things. I didnt realize that the move also affected her and that she had to leave everything behind. I took advantage of the fact that she felt sorry for moving me so I constantly made her feel bad and pushing her to move us back. The night before she took her life she sat on my bed and told me how much of a gift I was and that she was trying her best for me. I said i love you to not paying attention really. In the middle of the night I got up to get a drink and i saw her writing a letter, I was curious but I didnt think that she was writing her suicide note. I woke up the next morning to my grandmother screaming at me to get up and go to my moms room, my mom was wrapped in blankets. She had swallowed Clorox, we called the ambulance but she did not make it. Her suicide note said it was nobody's fault and that she loved me more than anything. But I blame myself, I took her for granted and I wish I could go back and appreciate her more. She was so generous and cared for everyone, I love her so much I just wish i had her back, I would do anything for my best friend to come back. I love you forever mommy

Comments for My mom the most amazing person and my best friend

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Oct 01, 2012
by: bryan

she is smiling at you from heaven .

Sep 27, 2012
mother love is unconditional
by: Anne

I too feel guilty that I didn't tell my mum how much i appreciated her, but you know when I think of my own children I would not want them to feel guilty about anything when I go, I just want to love them and give them everything I can. mothers usually don't expect anything in return, and if they do, well they shouldn't. All mothers I know give selflessly a mother's love is totally nonconditional, so don't feel guilty, your mum wouldn't want you too.

Sep 26, 2012
My mom the most amazing person and my best friend
by: Doreen U.K.

Andrea I am sorry for your loss of your mom to suicide and for the hurt and pain you are still in. You may need to see a grief counsellor to help you cope with your grief as a death by suicide is a very traumatic death for everyone. my nephew of 30yrs. died by suicide 5 years ago and it still hurts us all. You are behaving like most children do. Many children behave like brats and many children take their parents for granted. It is part of life. Mom's do what they have to do to take care of their children. A wise mom will not bother her children with all the difficulties she has to go through. It is too heavy a burden for mom's to carry. You don't seem to have a father around as you talk in the singular. If this is the case your mom will have had a very heavy burden to bear all alone and this caused her to not be able to cope and so saw no way out of her pain and difficulty. The sadness is now that you children that are left will have the most difficult time coming to terms not only with your mom's death but the type of death will carry more pain, and guilt for you all left behind. There is no perfect person in the world who does everything correct. We are all flawed people. We will make mistakes till the end of our days. But with the correct support you and your remaining family can get through your loss. Please reach out for support, and don't think because your mom chose this way to handle her difficulties is the only way out. Keep banging on doors of social services till someone hears you and gives you the support you need to get on your feet again. Don't continue to feel guilty. This is part of your grief.

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