My mom - Violet has gone home.

by Kathy

My mom goofing off at the hosp when my youngest was born.

My mom goofing off at the hosp when my youngest was born.

My mom died a week ago. March 12th at 5:20 am. She had been sick for about 3 yrs. And her quality of life was not very good. She was tired and wanted to go home. She was 70 yrs old. I am 47. Some days I feel like I just can't breathe. Like I cannot make any decisions and don’t want to get up. Some times I feel ok. And in a minutes time I feel like I can't go on.

Everyone tells me they are here for me but my sister is the only one I want to talk to and go through this with. We "get" each other and she was wonderful with my mom. She looked after her to the very end. And she is the baby of the family. We have brothers but they are different about it.

My husband tells me He doesn’t want me to be sad. What does that mean? I feel like I have made an accomplishment if I take a shower and put on makeup this week sometimes. He lost his mother last year but this seems different.
Anyway that is the beginning of my story.

Comments for My mom - Violet has gone home.

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Apr 02, 2010
3 weeks today
by: Kathy

Let Me Grieve.
Right now I am in pain. I lost someone I truly love. I know I am not the first person to lose someone. Not the first to feel this pain. But right now I don?t want to hear about your loss way back when. Please forgive me for this. I am hurting so much I cannot fix you and I am not looking for you to fix me. Don?t wait for me to call and ask for help if you know I am having a hard day. A quick call to say ?I love you.? Will help and if I need to talk it will open a door for me that I may not feel like opening by myself right now. If I cry just let me cry. If I want to talk please don?t make it an opportunity to talk about YOUR loss. Don?t assume a couple of weeks is long enough to be sad or even a couple months. She was in my life for a long time. A lifetime of lessons, memories and love. Just let me grieve. I will be ok. I know eventually I will feel better. Please allow me the luxury of time and the chance to be selfish. Realize my world has been turned upside down and I may act crazy sometimes but that is normal. I love you. But if you love me you will hold me when I cry and let me be alone when I need time. I will heal faster if I am allowed the chance to grieve in my way in my time.

Mar 23, 2010
Another day - I hate this.
by: Anonymous

Well I skipped school today. I went yesterday and ended up running out of class crying. Did I mention along with all this my car broke down this weekend. At least $300 for that and house pmt due next week. I feel like I am gonna go crazy.

I am so tired today.


Mar 23, 2010
I know your grief
by: Janet

My mom passed away on March 15, 2010. We all knew it was going to happen but when she took her last breath I knew my life had changed forever. Ladies, I fully understand what this pain is and there is none like it. I am trying not to let it get me down and right now I think I am numb. I know someone has died but it doesn't feel like my mom. But something that has helped me; my mother had a crippled leg and she had to wear a brace and heavy shoes that wore her down, so when I am sad I think about her walking around without the heavy shoes and how happy she must be. Mothers leave a mark on your life that you hope to never lose and when they die it is hard to keep going on. But remember the love they had for US and that someday we will see them again. I wish you all the best and pray your grieving will soon end peacefully.

Mar 22, 2010
Normal Grieving Process
by: Down Under

Kathy, my condolences on the loss of your mother Violet. I too lost a parent, my father in Aug 09 and I feel the exact same way you do. Must be a pattern we go through when we grieve. I now also have the anger emotion involved, not fun at all.
Take care Kathy.

Mar 21, 2010
And the story continues
by: Kathy

I would be lost without my sister. Everyone wants attention. I have to kiss but on facebook because someone didn't realize I was joking about something silly. My sister in law who was like a best friend a yr ago hasn't even called to see how I am. She said she had to get a new best friend when I decided to go back to school. Mind you I am 47. (not a kid) she said I was too busy for her. WTF. My husband has a cold so he is moping around wanting to be taken care of. I have tried to have a HAPPY Day but I am wore out and kinda fed up. Now I go back to school tomorrow. Whew.

I am stressed.

Mar 21, 2010
by: Faith

I am so sorry for your loss. My mother passed on Tuesday March 16 2010. I know how you are feeling-the pain is unbearable at times. Moms are special people. I have 2 brothers and a sister and I agree that brothers deal with this differently. If you need someone to talk to just email me. Take care.

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