My mom was my everything

by Katrina

My beautiful mom....

My beautiful mom....

My beautiful mom....



I lost my mom on June 3, 2013. She died very suddenly from cardiopulmonary arrest. I am the oldest child of seven. I am 43 years old and my mom was only 59, so you see she was my mother first and foremost but also my best friend as well as a sister. I feel so lost without her and sometimes I don't feel as though I can go on because the pain is so unbearable at times. I have so many what ifs and whys. I don't really know if my mom knew she was as sick as she was, but if she did she never told any of her kids. I started feeling really strange about my life 2 months before my mom passed and all I know for sure is the strange feeling I was feeling made me want to spend time with my mom. The day before she passed so suddenly I spent the whole day with her and I thank God for that. I never knew less then 24 hours later my mom would be gone from my life forever. I really can't even begin to explain the hurt and pain I feel, I really don't know what to do or even say anymore, so I just pray. Can someone please help me. I try to be as strong as I can for my siblings but it seems to get harder and harder each day.

Comments for My mom was my everything

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Sep 13, 2014
My mom was my everything
by: Katrina

Thank all of you who reached out to me on this site. It has been 1 year 3 months and 12 days since I lost my mom and yes the pain never seems to leave but it has gotten a little duller or maybe it's just that I'm dealing with it. To you Doreen, I thank you for your words because I often think of them and I have even told my siblings to be easy on themselves and to take it one day at a time. I pray that all of you on this site are coping and dealing with life as it is and not as we wish to have it. The only thing we can do now is to accept things the way they are ( The Serenity Prayer ). I still miss my mom every single day and it doesn't seem to get easier, I think of my mom every single second, minute, and hour but for reasons I don't understand I won't allow myself to cry anymore, although the tears are there inside of me along with the hurt, pain and anger. Some parts of me feel afraid to cry and I don't know why.......May God be with you all and may God bless you all.

Oct 06, 2013
My mom was my everything
by: Anonymous

Hello. I lost my mother a little more than three years ago and I think about her from my first waking moment until my last moment before sleeping. I think about her throughout the day on a constant basis. I pray constantly.

I know now that my life has been irrevocably changed--and will never be the same again. I just have to accept that. The only moving on is that we get up each morning, take a breath, get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other.

There really is no closure for the loss of your mother. That is a made-up concept for those who cannot handle the truth.

Keep praying,keep thinking of her, take one breath at a time and put one foot in front of the other.

You will be with her again but you need to go through the lessons of earth until it is your time to be reunited with her.

I will keep you and your mother in my prayers


Aug 29, 2013
My mom was my everything
by: Doreen U.K.

Katrina I am sorry for your loss of your mother. It doesn't matter how old we are we will always ache for our mother's. I lost my mother 10 years ago and didn't grieve well for her until I lost my husband of 44yrs. 15 months ago to a deadly cancer. Then both griefs started to hurt more. The death of my husband is the worst loss I have been through. The pain was unbearable. I still feel his loss as so extreme from my life. Almost as if we would never be parted. Then just like you I started to feel strange in my spirit as if something bad was about to happen and I started changing my perspective and spending habits. I suddenly felt the urge to think of my husband and what I would do without him in my life. It was too painful so I dismissed this and just went on with life. Sadly he never got the chance to enjoy his life. Cancer ripped through his body and gave him a painful cancer from Asbestos a deadly substance in the workplace.
You may find good support for yourself and your siblings with a grief counsellor. Don't try to be the strong one. You have your limitations and you will be injured trying to support everyone. Talk often amongst yourselves and keep a strong bond with each other. It is so hard to go on in life and in the early days I could do nothing but take to the couch and watch TV and let this soothe my aching heart. I only cooked oven food. I did the bare essentials. I allowed myself space to do what I needed to do and nothing more. I then started taking one or two jobs a day. Scaled down when I couldn't manage this. I was gentle with myself. I feel healing is taking place from nurturing myself. We have a duty of care to ourselves then we will be in a better position to support other's. This is not selfish. But necessary for one's well being. Take one day at a time. Don't look too far ahead. You will soon find the days pass quickly. Some days good and some not so good. But grief does not last forever. WE do heal in time from our grief. Seek God's Comfort and strength to see you all through this loss of your mom and you will find life get easier in time. May God go with you all and Comfort you and give you Peace.

Aug 29, 2013
I lost my mom too
by: Rose

I am sorry for your loss. I can relate in some ways. My mom passed away on August 3, less than a month ago. She was 71 and also had more health problems than she wanted us to know about. Her health really started to go downhill in February, but she fought hard and we even had Mother's Day and Father's Day with her. I am 40 years old and life feels so different without her. I am still trying to grasp the reality that she is gone, while also trying to find comfort by believing that her spirit lives on.

Aug 28, 2013
Lost my mom too
by: Anonymous

I lost my mom on May 8 2013 to a cardiac arrest and it is the worst feeling in the world! My mom was my best friend. She lived with me and I was the one who found her. She died alone and the guilt of not being there for her on her last breath kills me. It happened so sudden,y you don't know what hit you! I know the pain you are in. I am the youngest, my mom was 79 years old but acted like she was 60 years old. She was active and seemed to love life and I feelshe got ripped from me too soon! I was numb for the first 2 months and all I did was cry n go to cemetery to talk to her and tell her I was sorry for not seeing she was so sick to suddenly die. Everyday for me is a challenge because she lived with me and now I can't go to her place and talk because she is gone! My siblings are older and live out of state and are horrible people. They didn't pay for anything for the funeral and didn't even have the respect to bring her flowers! I am grateful for having my husband and little girl who keep me going but it is not easy. Everyday I miss my mom and think I always will. Talk to your mom and tell her how you feel. It sounds crazy but it has helped me and write in a journal about all your good times. I write because I don't want to ever forget how good a mother she was to me. Take care and believe me everyday gets a little better but unfortunately I believe we will always miss them deeply!

Aug 28, 2013
So sorry
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry to read about your mother. I lost my father suddenly as well. I was with him one day, and he was gone the next. He suffered Sudden Cardiac Arrest - no symptoms, nothing. It has been a long and horrible journey for me and my mother. We are a very close family, and coming to grips with this has been very, very hard. I have gotten a lot of support from the people who post here, and I hope you have the same experience. I know exactly how you are feeling. Wishing you peace.

Aug 28, 2013
My Mother was my Everything
by: Anonymous

I am so so sorry for you loss. I understand how you feel. I am the youngest of 10 and lost Mom this year. Every day i wonder how she is doing if she is safe and if she missed me. All we can do is have Faith. Mom has sent me signs that she lives on and know that your Mom lives on as well. One day we will reunite with our Moms and it will be the greatest reunion ever. Keep praying for strength. Meditating has also helped me and it makes me feel a little closer to Mom. Lean to your siblings for support as you all feel the same pain. I will keep you in my prayers.

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