My mom

My mother passed away 3 days ago the pain i feel is the worst pain ever.I love her so much i never got to say goodbye i moved to the US from Canada 11 yrs ago my husband fell ill with cancer and i remain his caregiver For 11 yrs he has said lets move back to Canada.The last thing my mother said to my brother the day we left Canada was I will never see rhonda again.My brother said you will.I feel so guilty how did i let so many yrs slip by So selfish.She passed away in my sisters arms with my brother holding her hand She said said hello to Rhonda,what did she mena hello she was going away.Was it a hidden message? i feel so awful.i am a awful daughter!Well they will dispuse her ashes in the Valley on the Prairies in canada where she grew up and loved that was her wishes.I so wish i can get home for that.I owe her that.

Comments for My mom

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Sep 01, 2014
Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you ladies.its so nice to know others understand.Doreen thank you my husband had esophageul cancer and has been on a feeding tube for 11 yrs.it is awful to watch him slowly fade away.Its been16 days since my mom passed and still so painful like there is a big hole in my heart.Doreen is my cousins name and she was at my mothers bedside when she passed.Doreen is a great name!Rach thank you and yes my mom would want me to go on she was a strong woman,my sister and i are very strong women My sisters husband passed away from cancer and she took care of him at home til the end of his journey.thank you ladies .the other night i fell asleep on the couch and dreamnt of water on the floor and my mom was pointing at it i said mom we need to get to the bottom of this it will be cold and you will get pneumonia she passed away from pneumonia i got up and realized my husbands IV pole was gone from the living room i called out for him no answer i ran to the bedroom he had fallen asleep on the edge of the bed there was water all over the floor he had spilled water .i was terrified i got him into bed i was so shaken up.Did my mother try to warn me?this stuff is all so much sometimes. xoxoxo rhonda

Aug 20, 2014
My condolences
by: rach

Hi, My deepest condolences to your family about your mum. No you're not a bad daughter. I'm sure your mum would have wanted you to move with your husband and start a life of your own. I recently also lost my grandma suddenly and I was away when she was admitted to the hospital. When I flew back from US to Singapore she already looked a bit confused. So I understand how you feel when you said you could have been a better daughter by being by your mum's side. But living with your husband after marrying is what all parents would have wanted for their child. They would have wanted us to lead our own lives, don't you think? I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you mum knows of your love for her. In the meantime, try to be strong and live on because that's what your mum would have wanted. Be strong for your mum.

Aug 18, 2014
My mom
by: Doreen U.K

I am so sorry for your loss of your mom to a sudden death. People move around the world all the time. It is normal. No one knows what life holds and it is at the time of illness or death that our perspective changes. When you are married it is normal to go where your husband can get work. Mother's get used to rearing their children. They fly the nest and live their own lives. Nothing selfish about this. It is what mom's expect in a mature healthy relationship. I am sorry to hear your husband has cancer. Is he in remission? Will he recover from his type of cancer? Is it possible for you to return to Canada since your husband wants this? or is it too difficult because you are settled in USA?
My husband and our 2 children emigrated to Canada from the U.K. over 30yrs. ago. My husband got homesick and returned to the U.K. within one year. I am so glad we did return. We did not know that my husband was carrying cancer in his body from cutting asbestos in the workplace as a young man in his 20's. It takes 40yrs. to develop into an incurable, inoperable, aggressive, and rare tumour which is terminal. I was his caregiver for 3yrs.39days and my husband died of this cancer MESOTHELIOMA 2yrs. ago. We mounted the battle in the U.K. against his employers. for comp. Glad we were in the U.K. as it would have been difficult to mount this battle from Canada. I would have been isolated and without any family support. It has been a very difficult cancer journey and grief. One doesn't know what life holds. But better to be in the place one feels more comfortable in, surrounded by family. You will know in your heart whether to return to Canada or not. Sometimes it is illness that dictates one's choice or decision. I hope you don't have a difficult cancer journey as your husband's caregiver and that he does recover. Please write back.

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