My mom

by Tammyjo Arroyo
(chesapeake va.)

my mom at 17

my mom at 17

I am really not sure how to begin. I lost my mom almost 6 months ago. (april 7 2010). I am angry, hurt, sad. and completely lost without her. even tho we had a very rocky relationship for many years.


in the past 15 years I had begun to understand the word unconditional love. when my mom told me she had cancer(3) years ago. I felt my whole world end, she said it as if it was a normal thing to have. as weeks went on I could tell she was keeping something from me but i didnt know what. and I didnt push the issue. now I wish I would have.

I spent her last week on this earth with her, holding her hand, crying when she was not looking, falling apart when she could not see.. hearing her pain and understanding that this WAS the end. it was really not understandable to me. it did feel like a dream, the pain was and is killing me..

Comments for My mom

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May 17, 2011
hurting for my mom
by: RegB

I too lost my mom..it'll be a year June 13th..the worst day of my life, next to the day her terrible diagnosis came 03/15/10...God only gave us 3 months with her. The worst months of my life to watch her suffer and be completely helpless. I struggle with flashbacks of her illness and I feel like I'm spiraling out of control..even though I'm [on the outside] looking like I'm fine, inside I'm shattered. I love her so much, she truly was my best friend in the world. We talked EVERY SINGLE DAY, multiple times, met for lunch weekly and did so many things together that my I not only lost my mom...I lost my best friend in the world. I just wish I could hear her tell me she loves me one last time, hug her again, smell her lovely scent...help me mom.

Nov 11, 2010
my mum
by: Anonymous

My mother was 70 and died suddenly in August 2010. She was never sick a day in her life. She danced every night, the tango salsa rock n roll, you name, it energy to burn. She had got the flu in late July, and antibiotics weren't helping. So I stepped in, telling her to come to my doctor and we would get her fixed once and for all.

We were told pneumonia, then the blood tests said leukemia. She had no previous signs at all. We asked the doctors how long did she have; 1 hour later she was dead. I had to tell my dad; hes 82; they were married 48 years.

This is crazy. a healthy mother gone. We are still in great shock, and are empty and numb from both the suddenness and the shock. I wonder if you can ever get over losing a mother...I think not...at least she didn't suffer and we were able to say our goodbyes..I feel your pain...you are not alone..

Nov 06, 2010
Miss my mum
by: Nicola

I understand what you say, I lost my Beautiful mum in April 2010. My heart is broken, my life feels hollow, and my pain is like nothing i have ever felt in my life. It has been 6 months and it feels like yesterday, sadly for us my mum was told on the Sunday she had lung and bone cancer and she died on the Thursday four days. It was a total shock to everyone of us, she had been sick for a five weeks and was told she had a virus. My only saving grace is that mum did not suffer for too long.

I sat with her on her final day holding her hand and telling her just how much i loved her and what an amazing mother she had been to all of us and all the things i needed her to know, my mum died 4 hours later. To watch her take her final breaths was the hardest thing i have ever had to do, my mum, my beautiful mum had passed and my world turned upside down.

I cant stop my pain and i just want to feel normal and to think i will never hear her beautiful voice and see her beautiful face and to hear her laughter makes me just feel so empty, my husband does not understand and makes me feel i should be moving on and letting go but i cant. I have such sadness and want her to still be by my side and it hurts and hurts and i dont think i will ever feel normal again.
d

Oct 20, 2010
I Feel Your Pain
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain too, I lost my mom in the same week as yours after a 2 week illness where she was unconscious. I was with her when she passed because I didn't want her to be alone. I am in worse shape than I could have imagined, but no one seems to notice, at least they don't ask. You are not alone/

Oct 12, 2010
Only Child here
by: Anonymous

I was my moms only child, she died this September 5, 2010 and im just turned all upside down. My mother was single and struggled for 18yrs with Diabetic issues and other small Issues. So trust me I feel your pain.

Oct 03, 2010
alone
by: Roxy

Dear Tammyjo,

I understand you very well.. I lost my mom one year and half ago and the loss still hurts a lot. I also spent her last week with her in a hospital and I saw her dying...What I could tell you is that the pain for me is stronger day by day and for me. The usual phases (accepting,forgetting,etc..) did not work. My only hope is that one day I shall be with her ..
Rox

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