by Tammyjo Arroyo
my mom at 17
I am really not sure how to begin. I lost my mom almost 6 months ago. (april 7 2010). I am angry, hurt, sad. and completely lost without her. even tho we had a very rocky relationship for many years.
in the past 15 years I had begun to understand the word unconditional love. when my mom told me she had cancer(3) years ago. I felt my whole world end, she said it as if it was a normal thing to have. as weeks went on I could tell she was keeping something from me but i didnt know what. and I didnt push the issue. now I wish I would have.
I spent her last week on this earth with her, holding her hand, crying when she was not looking, falling apart when she could not see.. hearing her pain and understanding that this WAS the end. it was really not understandable to me. it did feel like a dream, the pain was and is killing me..